To JD Vance: I'm Patriotic, Civically Engaged — Oh, And Childless
A woman’s value to her community goes far beyond her ability to reproduce and raise her own children.
VH-studio, Consolidated News Photos | Shutterstock Unfortunately, I am catless at present. Fortunately, I am childless. Or, am I? Though I have not had a child, I have been a public school educator for 33 years.
Before that, I was a teacher’s aide and an attendant at a group home to pay my way through college and graduate school.
When I whipped out my iPhone calculator and did some quick calculating, I realized I’d been involved with some 3,000 children as a speech-language pathologist — and for a short while — as an elementary school principal. That’s a lot of children to have nurtured and supported for a childless lady (who did have a cat for a good portion of those 33 years).
As any teacher or school administrator can attest, we carry home the joys and struggles of our students to our kitchen tables and late-night ruminations while trying to fall asleep. Can that student afford to pay for the 8th-grade graduation dance? What about a dress? Will the struggling third grader ever remember how to spell his last name?
When I read reports of JD Vance’s various rants about childless women in our country, I sighed.
Not just from the mean-spiritedness of his statements, but also from the short-sightedness. As Vance sees it, people without children “don’t have a direct stake in this country.”
A study published by the University of Minnesota Medical School “strongly indicates” that people exposed to Sen. JD Vance lose all interest in activity that would lead to reproduction. “Taken as a whole, this research suggests that JD Vance might not be the best messenger for his pro-reproduction stance,” the researcher said.
Even more concerning, we are “sociopathic” and “less mentally stable.” There’s much ink being correctly spilled about bringing back civility to our public discourse, but that’s not what prompted me to open up my laptop and start pounding the keys.
A woman’s value to her community goes far beyond her ability to reproduce and raise her own children. Nor does her mental health hinge on becoming a parent. I am the eldest sister, an aunt, and an educator. I can confidently say I have some skin in the game of childcare and child rearing, without ever having had a child of my own.
Gorodenkoff | Shutterstock
Perhaps Mr. Vance wouldn’t consider me childless since I spent a year in the 1990s as a foster parent for one of my students whose pre-adoptive placement had abruptly ended.
I learned a lot that year about the pitfalls of the foster care system and the profound and lasting impact trauma has on the emotional and academic development of a child. Managing the demands of being a working parent to a child with special needs was an eye-opener.
In my mid-30s, I spent a few years as a Sunday School teacher and a youth group leader, where I attempted to acquire the unicorn-like ability to be that cool older adult who is also approachable and wise. Occasionally, I pulled it off. And there were those years when I was a poll worker at my local voting precinct.
Even though I was in my 40s, I was still the youngest one in the room. I loved getting to know the white-haired ladies who were sticklers for processes and procedures. Regretfully, given the events of the past few years, I’ve let go of that endeavor.
Helena Lopes | Pexels
I want to clear to Mr. Vance that having a child is not a requirement for a good life nor is it a prerequisite for having a “direct stake” in one’s community or the future success of our nation.
It should be obvious that one can be patriotic, engaged in our country’s welfare, and childless. Phillipino teachers from one study conducted by Nova Southeastern University described their struggles of embarrassment, incompleteness, and pressures from co-teachers and family members. However, optimism and escapism are their best coping mechanisms. They continue performing their school tasks despite societal pressures. They consider being childless a plus factor in terms of work commitment and economic advantage.
We childless folks work, teach, mentor, volunteer, coach, start businesses, pay taxes, and support the marketplace with our purchasing power. And we are politically active. This fall I’ll be using the free time afforded to me by my childless state to get out the vote, with the hopes of defeating the Trump-Vance ticket.
Kim Stillwell is a speech-language pathologist and former school principal. She was raised in Alaska and now lives in the Lower 48. She writes about teaching, education policy, and the experience of first-generation students in academia.