6 Immature Decisions That Will Totally Sabotage Your Life
Don't let an immature mind hold you back from achieving progress.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock I’m not always mature. Deep down, I’m still a kid. I’m all for being playful and tapping into your inner child. But there are some actions I regret in my life and mistakes I wish I had avoided. All of these came from choices that reflected a lack of life experience and a lack of consciousness. This is the immature mind at play, and it doesn’t always serve us. Here are six decisions we can make that hold us back and can even create tremendous setbacks that can be avoided.
Here are 6 immature decisions that will sabotage your life:
1. Reacting in anger without thought
Most of the worst decisions or actions people make that almost always end in major regret are rooted in this point. The immature person has done little to cultivate space between a triggering thought caused by an external event (like being insulted) and their responding behavior. In other words, they reacted without a breath and thought.
You must develop more self-control in this area than any other emotional management aspect. This kind of thing gets people locked up for a lifetime because they acted in the heat of the moment where their emotions were allowed to swallow them up. To get better at this, you cultivate the ‘gap.’ We all have the power to stay calm and maintain space even when we feel a wash of anger flow over us. What we do with anger can be the difference between major subsequent regret or the relief that you stay strong. This will also garner respect and trust from those around you.
2. Succumbing to repeat sources of instant gratification at the expense of your future health and happiness
We’ve all seen the gradual effect of repeatedly making choices that seem inconsequential at the moment but have adverse effects in the long run. Eating junk food or smoking, for example. One of the clearest reflections of a controlled mind and a mature person is their ability to turn down those things that harm them in the long run, even if the short-term pleasure is evident.
Mature people apply wisdom to their actions, combined with exercising and holding a desirable vision for the future in mind. Sure, enjoying a vice or a pleasure occasionally is fine … as long as these vices don't take control in return. But those who are more likely to see incredible results in their lives are those biased to the positive compounding effect of making good choices that aren’t always felt immediately but that will manifest in the longer run. The mature mind takes the needed steps today to negate a bleak future.
3. Quitting something worthwhile because you didn’t see results quickly enough
You can’t fail if you don’t quit. There is a time to change tracks, and there is a time to pivot. Especially if you’re clearly in the wrong vehicle, moving in a direction that won’t work for you. But too often, the issue lies on the other end of this persistence spectrum. We quit when we needed to stay strong and stay on track. We get bored too quickly, don’t see results quickly enough, see a shiny new opportunity coming over the horizon, and bail. The immature character uses struggle as an indicator of what to avoid.
The mature mind expects struggle and exercises resilience that ensures storms are weathered. The mature mind is made for battle and — because it anticipates that life will have its low moments — resists less and experiences more power through the process. The mature decision is to stay put, and to listen to your instinct that things will be alright in the end. You’ll always know whether you made the right choice or not. You’ll feel it in your soul.
4. Allowing fear and pride to stop you from having important conversations
Tim Ferris said: "A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have." This is highlighted as a gateway to many advantages in life because they’re so hard to do. Few people enjoy confrontation, and most actively seek to avoid it.
The pain of such a thing doesn’t necessarily mean that the conversation needs circumventing. Instead, it’s usually an indication that parties need to be open about difficult truths. When vulnerability like this is required, people often become fearful. Their pride or egos can get in the way because no one wants to look bad, receive an angry glance, or get rejected. So we avoid it. It’s not easy, but the mature move would be to enter the ring and face up to what you need to do and say, even if your heart is pounding. Have the tough conversations. That's maturity.
5. Making win-lose agreements
Winners with mature mindsets are always looking for ways to strike agreements with people in which both parties stand to gain. Your purpose in life must be to rise and lift others with you. An example is when you shake hands on a house sale while deliberately withholding information about the rotting floorboards that would take a massive chunk of your selling price.
Stepping on others to pursue your goals comes from insecurity and lack. It’s not empowering, and it will chew away at you over time. The immature part of you wants to take advantage of people so you can take shortcuts and avoid the hard decisions. But the hardest decision of all is the one that leads to your guilt and your creation of new enemies.
6. Making lose-win agreements
The flip side to win-lose agreements, in which the other party in a deal loses while you ‘win,’ is a contract in which you get the wrong end of the stick. Perhaps you were taken advantage of without realizing it, or you were pushed into a deal you didn’t want to make but did it anyway because you lacked the assertive strength to say no.
Why is a lose-win agreement immature on your part? Let’s refer back to the example above, where a house is being sold to someone unaware of the property’s structural problems. The buyer is as immature as the seller in this instance. They didn’t do their due diligence, follow their gut, and ask the tough questions. The mature decision would be to ensure you’re working with the right people and avoiding making decisions that put you and your family at a disadvantage. This can be negligent at best but also reckless and potentially tragic at worst.
Be vigilant and mature enough to elevate yourself out of reactive emotional temptations. Take your time in making important decisions. If a deal smells off, exercise the power of instinct and turn away. Make only decisions that benefit all parties involved.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.