People Who Do These 8 Things Exude The Type Of Confidence That Attracts Others
How to treat dating as growth, not pressure, to attract the relationships you crave most.
Ridofranz | Canva I hear women describe themselves in the same way over and over again, and I bet you can identify with it, too. "I'm generally a very friendly, confident gal... unless I'm in the company of a man I'm attracted to. In that case, I turn into mush." If you're anything like I was, it is sometimes hard to recognize the woman sitting in front of an attractive or available man.
Here’s what I finally learned at 45: I was a grown-up woman. I knew who I was and what I wanted, and I was in charge of my life. I created my happiness. I knew how to get what I wanted.
If you do these 9 things, you'll exude the type of confidence people like most:
1.Cultivate self-awareness to boost confidence.
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Don't let your intellect stray too far.
Develop a habit of regularly checking in with your emotions and thoughts. Techniques like journaling and meditation can improve self-awareness, foster self-compassion, and strengthen your sense of self.
2.Ask yourself confidence-building questions.
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I got into the habit of asking myself, "Am I being the real me?" Actively monitoring your emotions and internal state can significantly boost self-confidence by fostering self-awareness, self-compassion, and a sense of personal agency.
A 2023 analysis found that this allows you to better understand and manage your thoughts and feelings, leading to a more positive self-image. Techniques like meditation and journaling, which encourage self-reflection, are often used to facilitate checking in with oneself and can increase self-confidence. However, to see significant benefits, checking in with yourself must be a regular practice, not just a one-time activity.
3.Embrace and celebrate your authentic self.
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It does no good to act like something you're not, and it makes no sense to be anything other than your authentic (fabulous) self.
Confidence begins with owning your unique qualities. Know what makes you amazing, and let that shine. Authenticity is your most attractive quality.
She's the one you want the guy to be attracted to, right? But here's a tip: you better know what's so great about you!
4.Prioritize self-care for long-term confidence.
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Make well-informed decisions that are best for you over the long term, not just for the moment or today. Invest in self-nurturing habits that promote personal growth, reduce stress, and reinforce your self-worth. Decisions made with self-compassion lead to lasting confidence.
Does it do you good to give in to your fear today when that one guy could turn out to be someone fantastic?
Self-care, or self-compassion, significantly contributes to increased self-confidence by fostering a positive self-image, enabling personal growth, and allowing individuals to manage stress effectively. This leads to a greater sense of self-worth and agency. A 2022 analysis published in Social and Personal Psychology Compass found that when individuals engage in self-nurturing behaviors, they often experience positive emotions and a sense of accomplishment, further reinforcing their self-worth and confidence.
5.Adopt a courageous mindset toward love.
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Achieving that goal requires courage and perspective. Be willing to put yourself out there and know you can handle whatever comes your way.
Pursue relationships with bravery and an open perspective. Remember, rejection is not a reflection of your worth but a stepping stone toward finding the right connection.
(A guy saying "no" to you isn't the worst thing that can happen to you. Not even close!)
6.Approach dating as an opportunity for growth.
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Think of it like taking an anthropology class, going to the spa, or planning a trip to Paris. I’m serious. Men can be fun; this doesn’t have to seem like some freaky or incredibly foreign thing in your life.
A 2022 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that approaching dating with the mindset of using it to boost your happiness can positively impact self-confidence by providing validation, social interaction, and a sense of personal agency, primarily when you actively focus on your needs and desires within the dating process. Using dating to improve your happiness can motivate you to work on personal growth and self-care, further boosting confidence. Focusing solely on external validation from dating can lead to negative consequences if expectations aren't met, so it's essential to maintain a balanced perspective and prioritize your internal happiness.
7.Enjoy your life while building relationships.
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Leading a fulfilling life builds confidence. Focus on hobbies, goals, and self-care while keeping an open mind about love. A vibrant, self-sufficient life attracts the right partner.
If you're not doing this, get started now. The more you like yourself and your life, the more comfortable you feel connecting with confident and impressive men.
8.View dating as a natural part of your journey.
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Figure out what you want and decide how you will get it. Let the people you love support you. Talk to them, share your hopes, and let them help. Keep learning about yourself and men. Keep growing.
Have fun, love yourself, and get out there so you can confidently start meeting and dating. You are in charge, sister.
Approaching dating as a normal part of life, similar to other social interactions like making friends or networking, can significantly boost self-confidence by reducing the perceived pressure and anxiety often associated with romantic encounters. A 2014 study published by Cambridge University Press found this allows individuals to focus on genuine connections and their positive qualities. Cognitive reappraisal is reinterpreting a situation to reduce its emotional impact, like reframing dating as a chance to get to know someone new.
Now, take this list and identify the two things that, if you did them, would most positively impact your ability to meet men and create a wonderful love life.
Write at least four action steps you will take in the next two weeks. Maybe you'll commit to chatting up one man every day or to creating your check-in question. Maybe you'll list the wonderful things you have to offer or find out how you can learn more about becoming the confident woman you need to be.
Bobbi Palmer, founder of Date Like A Grownup, is an internationally recognized expert helping women over 40 find grownup, lasting, passionate love with the right man.