Husband Tells His Wife That He Will Only Allow Her To Take 2 Showers Total Each Week — And It Has Nothing To Do With How Much It Costs
“This is creating the most conflict in our marriage in 20 years.”
AdrienVillezPhotography, The Junessa Rendon / CanvaPro A woman turned to Reddit's “Am I Overreacting” forum to express her annoyance with her husband after criticizing her for her showering habits; commenters rushed under the post to express concern over his fixation.
Initially, under the impression that this woman’s husband was concerned over their water bill, commenters were shocked when the woman admitted his concern had much stranger origins.
A husband told his wife that she was only allowed to take 2 showers a week.
“This is the weirdest thing my husband has ever done,” she wrote. “He really is a sweet and loving husband, and I love him more than anything. Divorce is not an option; just to put that out there before the comments come in.”
The woman explained that she had been completely thrown off guard by her husband's behavior over the past few weeks. “My husband has always been a little out there. He is a computer programmer and super smart, but also believes all sorts of things. Both real and conspiracy.”
“About two months ago, he got really worried about the water. Yes, water …This has created the most conflict in our marriage in 20 years.”
Surprisingly, the woman’s husband isn’t worried about water costs but rather the water quality & sustainability of frequent showers.
“Lately, he has been very worried about the environment and global warming. He is concerned about the quality of the water.” She continued, “He put in a new filter system in our house … he is also concerned about how much water we use.”
However, she confessed that a filtration system wasn’t enough to soothe the problem. She added, “He created a new rule that we can only take 2 showers a week. Now, I’m someone who likes to shower every day before bed. I just don’t like feeling dirty in bed.”
While showers technically contribute to climate change — through energy and water consumption and pollution of water tables — there’s no research to suggest that conscious actions on an individual level will contribute to large-scale change. In fact, transportation habits and activity from large corporations contribute to the majority of climate issues from the burning of fossil fuels — not an extra few showers a week.
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“He is obsessed with the amount of water we use. At first, I just ignored his rule, but he would shut off the hot water while I was in the shower. I started trying to use the shower at the gym, but it's too much work to go every night with having kids.”
So, while this man’s new obsession with water usage helps develop climate-conscious habits, the truth is that it’s probably doing more harm than good to his marital relationship. Different areas of their lives, like the car they drive and their waste habits, would be more effective contributors to climate health if that’s what he’s most concerned about.
She said he’d turn the hot water off or berate her when she wanted to shower.
“Last night, I really wanted a shower but had ‘hit my quota.' I said I'm showering and that he better not do anything. But about two minutes in, the hot water turned off,” she angrily admitted. “I grabbed my towel and went down and started yelling. Telling him this is the dumbest thing he has ever done. I also told him I'm moving to my parents if he doesn't stop this.”
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While it seems like an almost silly reason to move out on her husband, she can’t comprehend his fixation on this new obsession with water. “I can’t take this anymore … I love this man. He is everything to me. Am I going too far in threatening to move out?”
Commenters suggested that there’s likely something deeper than just a concern about water going on with her husband. Some pointed to ADHD and extreme stress or anxiety. “It is really concerning that he’s paranoid and controlling about water all of a sudden,” one wrote. “Have there been any life-changing events in his world lately?”
Others suggest opening up a conversation about mental health. “My husband has OCD tendencies and anxiety,” one person wrote. “He tends to fixate on things that are good … but can take them too far, just like [this woman’s] husband. A diagnosis…has given us a framework to think and talk about his actions.”
Whether it’s an open and honest conversation with his wife or with a professional, it seems like this man could use some productive communication to move past this fixation. Not only is it becoming a tribulation in his relationship, but it’s also occupying a great deal of space in his mind.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.