Husband Says His Pregnant Wife Spent $50K Behind His Back In The Past 6 Months
They were already working to pay off $57,000 in debt.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock A man admitted that he is “terrified” after discovering that his wife has been spending copious amounts of money each month without his knowledge.
Perhaps even scarier is the fact that the man and his wife are not only in debt but also expecting a child in just a few months.
The man learned that his pregnant wife had spent $50,000 behind his back in the past six months.
Sharing his story with the hosts of “The Ramsey Show” podcast, where Dave Ramsey and his team of experts discuss topics relating to finances, the man detailed the massive hole of debt that his wife dug them into.
The 38-year-old explained that he and his 34-year-old wife have an income of around $120,000 annually. They are also in significant debt and have been working to pay it off.
“We’ve been working on paying off $57,000 in debt for the last six months or so,” the man said.
When he found out his wife was pregnant, the man started saving more aggressively.
The debt is not the only crucial event going on in their lives. Six months ago, the man and his wife also learned that they were pregnant.
“I’ve been saving money since we found out,” the man said.
However, he eventually discovered that his wife had not been doing the same.
“Come to find out, she racked up $50,000 in credit card debt that I wasn’t aware of,” the man explained. “I’m terrified, and I don’t know what to do.”
The man suspected that his wife’s spending began long before she even got pregnant but grew worse since she found out they were expecting, buying expensive baby products.
The man learned about his wife's secret spending while trying to refinance their mortgage.
“I don’t know what has gone through her head, but I’m scared,” the man said.
He learned about his wife’s secretive spending while attempting to refinance their mortgage. While analyzing their credit reports, the broker came across their debt, which was $50,000 more than what the man had originally believed it to be.
When the man confronted his wife, she came clean and confessed to the additional spending.
Ramsey told the man that based on his 30 years of experience working in finance, the experience that he had with his wife was “first and foremost a breach of trust” in their marriage.
“The money is secondary… people in my world call this ‘financial infidelity’ because it’s a deep breach of trust,” Ramsey explained.
Secret spending in a marriage is often described as financial infidelity due to the underlying trust issues.
Financial infidelity refers to the act of hiding financial information, assets, or activities from a partner or spouse. It involves deceptive financial behavior that undermines the trust in a relationship.
A 2021 poll conducted by the National Endowment for Financial Education found that 43% of adults who have combined finances with their spouse or partner have committed financial infidelity.
Financial infidelity is more likely to occur if the person committing the act is employed or has children under 18 in the household.
In some relationships, financial infidelity is a dealbreaker. Around 41% of married people or those in a committed relationship living with their significant other claim that they are likely to end their relationship if they discover that their partner has been spending significant amounts of money without their knowledge, according to research by the American Institute of CPAs.
Financial infidelity could infer something more sinister, such as an affair, gambling, or addiction.
It is important to note that those committing financial infidelity do not always have malicious intent.
They could be secretly struggling financially, recently lost their job, or feel ashamed opening up to their spouses or partners about it. Therefore, they resort to spending behind their backs.
Communication is key in a relationship. If you and your partner have shared assets, it is best to open up to them to tackle the issue head-on together.
For those who want to work through financial infidelity, marriage counseling is available, as well as financial counseling, that could get them back on the right path when it comes to smart spending and asset management, especially if they are struggling to pay off debt.
Open communication about finances is crucial in a healthy relationship, and financial infidelity can strain the trust and transparency necessary for a successful partnership.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.