Husband Doesn’t Understand Why His Wife Won’t Call Out Of Work During Her Painful Periods — ‘If You Are Sick, You Are Sick’
Since the beginning of time, women have been given nothing but Tylenol and forced to carry on business as usual through debilitating cramps.
NFstock | Shutterstock A man cannot seem to comprehend how his wife is able to go to work while dealing with her period pain after suffering from a stomach virus.
After he suggested that she use her sick time to take off from work during that time of the month, his wife argued that it is not feasible — and many women know exactly what she means.
A husband believes that his wife should just call out sick from work during her ‘painful’ periods.
Anyone who has a uterus knows that menstruation can be one of the most physically uncomfortable sensations we can experience. However, men can never seem to grasp not only just how painful it is, but also how we are expected to carry on business as usual every month.
Sharing his story to the subreddit r/amiwrong, the 29-year-old husband revealed that he got a taste of what his 38-year-old wife endures once a month after coming down with a stomach bug.
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“When she mentioned symptoms similar to mine, I said she should see a doctor and get sick leave,” the man wrote.
“She was of the opinion that no doctor would approve that because it was ‘just normal period stuff’ (not in those words, but still) and that it would not be feasible for every woman to take a week off every month.”
The husband argued that menstrual pain constitutes an illness that should warrant time off work.
“We live in Germany so we don't have limited sick leave or not that limited (I think 6 weeks of paid sick leave, after that, social security or private insurance should take over) and we're somewhat protected from getting the boot for being sick,” the man clarified.
Still, he cannot fathom that his wife and other women choose to work through their periods instead of calling out.
“I find it shocking that apparently, women think their pain is just something that they have to power through to not inconvenience their corporate overlord,” he admits.
“I will fight tooth and nail that if my daughter feels like she can't attend school because she feels sick for whatever reason she can see a doctor and stay home and comfy.”
Still, the man asked if his opinion was unreasonable, and women on Reddit weighed in.
Women claimed that they were conditioned from a young age to work through their period pains to avoid being labeled as ‘overdramatic.’
“Unreasonable? Hell no. Unrealistic to the point of naive? Yep. Your wife has most likely had years of medical professionals telling her her pain is normal, discounting her opinions, and straight-up not listening. It's endemic and eventually, we get so discouraged by it that we just give up,” one Redditor commented.
“Mate, you've just described the actual problem. Women in pain are often told to get on with it, that it's nothing, that we're exaggerating, to get over it, or the classics. ‘It's not that bad’ or ‘It's in your head,’” another user wrote.
“You're not wrong for thinking period pain is a legitimate reason to take sick leave, as any pain that impacts productivity should be taken seriously. Your wife's hesitation likely stems from societal pressure to push through it, even though severe period pain can warrant time off,” another shared.
Women are often told that discomfort and pain during their menstrual cycles are normal, and while we can expect some cramping and nausea, severe pain may indicate something more serious.
Endometriosis, a medical condition in which tissue similar to the lining of the uterus, called the endometrium, grows outside the uterus in areas where it shouldn’t, affects an estimated 5 to 10% of women of reproductive age.
One of the most common symptoms of endometriosis is debilitating menstrual cramps, where women find it difficult to get out of bed, let alone muster up the strength to get to work.
Another condition associated with intense cramping during menstruation is PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), a combination of symptoms related to irregular menstrual cycles, excess androgen (male hormone) levels, and polycystic ovaries, which contain multiple small, fluid-filled sacs.
When conditions like endometriosis and PCOS are dismissed as ordinary period symptoms, it can lead to more serious health complications, including infertility, chronic fatigue, hypertension, and cardiovascular issues.
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Still, when most women initially come to their doctors with complaints of severe pain, they are brushed off and told that it is normal and sent back to school or work with not so much as a Tylenol.
Even if women do not suffer from any underlying conditions, menstruation can bring about a variety of unpleasant symptoms —including bloating, nausea, fatigue, cramps, mood swings, headaches, lower back pain, increased or decreased appetite, and vomiting — that can make going to work seem like an impossible task.
However, some women know that it is too much to bear and call out of the office anyway. Menstrual pain is the leading cause of absences from work in females of reproductive age, per a 2016 study from the National Library of Medicine.
Despite the long-lived expectation of women having to go to work or school while dealing with painful periods, some companies are introducing 'menstrual leave' for women.
The policy is similar to sick days, allowing women one to two days of paid time off when they start their periods.
This would allow women the necessary time to cope with their symptoms, get plenty of rest, and seek treatment before going back to work with a clear head.
Currently, menstrual leaves exist in companies in Spain, Mexico, Japan, China, Taiwan, Indonesia, South Korea, and Zambia (Your move, United States!)
While this husband was coming from a place of love and concern by suggesting she take sick leave during her period, he may never truly understand the societal pressures women experience.
Sometimes, it is simply just easier to pop a couple of Midol pills, chug water, and go into the office rather than reason with our bosses why we deserve at least a day off.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.