How To Stroke A Man's Ego

It can be so easy to become complacent in your relationship.

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I often hear couples complain about not feeling appreciated or valued by their partner. Things become routine and chore-like and eventually, something that used to feel so fun and intoxicating becomes stale and routine.

Resentment and regret take over and you find yourself arguing the stupidest little things. The love is still there, but things have started to break down and eyes have begun to wander. Not because you think your partner is the worst person in the world, but because you are seeking the attention and appreciation that he is not giving you.

You have to be careful not to fall into the trap that you are setting yourself up for.

Everyone has a friend that is always spouting quotes about seducing and keeping a man. The most common saying that I have heard is “If you won’t do it, someone else will” and so many times I have heard people dismiss this advice without a second thought. How does a woman who goes from man to man know how to keep a guy interested?

I hate to burst your bubble, but that friend can probably teach you a few things to keep your man satisfied.

Call me crazy if you want to, but think about it. Your friend doesn’t keep men because he/she doesn’t want to. They are too busy taking someone else’s and they are able to do it because they know what men want.

Here are 2 ways to stroke a man's ego and keep your relationship on the right track:

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1. Show appreciation

All men have egos and some of us have really BIG ones, whether we want to admit it or not. Those egos need to be stroked and when you are in a relationship, you have to make sure that he feels like he is number one in your book. Whether it’s his intelligence, physical appearance, sexual performance, or the way he treats you, you should always make time to ensure he knows how you feel.

Now, I'm not saying that you should be complimenting him 24/7/365 about every single thing that he does.

I’m also not suggesting that you lie to him and tell him he is good at something when he’s really not. 

Contrary to what people think, men are very perceptive and they will know when you are lying. They may not feel the need to say anything but deep down we know it.

Any and all compliments that you give him should be true and really come from the heart. This shouldn’t be that hard if you really love him because all you are doing is complimenting him on the things that keep you attracted to him. 

2. Keep him stimulated

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Men love it when their partners keep them on their toes. A little bit of mystery can create a lot of curiosity. Throw in some variety and it will keep him thinking about you and wanting more.

Another thing people tend to overlook is the fact that men like variety. Hello! If we didn’t, what would be the purpose of watching porn? The attraction of porn is not necessarily the fantasy of sexing someone differently anytime you want. The allure is actually doing something different from what you are used to and this is where the stimulation of the mind and body come into play.

Don’t get lazy and fall into silly routines. Schedules are good when it comes to working and getting things done, but for relationships, they can be detrimental. Going out only on certain nights, having sex always before bedtime; same types of sex in the same order, and having same-sex positions. 

Once it becomes predictable, it becomes boring. Once your man loses interest in sex, you will have to work your ass off trying to get it back and run the risk of either you or him looking externally for something that’s missing from the relationship.

Switch it up and add a little spice every now and then. Make an effort to figure out what he likes and capitalize off of it. Don’t be afraid to deviate from the usual and try something new. If his interests match your own, you may be in for a few fun surprises yourself.

In short, set your relationship up for long-term success.

Don’t let the everyday stress of life make you lazy when it comes to making your partner feel like he is appreciated.

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J. Cameron Gantt is a dating expert and is the Head Dating Coach at Insti(Gay)tor, a Chicago-based LGBT matchmaking agency.