How To Prepare For The 8 Biggest Disappointments Of Retirement, According To Experts
The reality of retirement is much different than most people think.
fizkes | Shutterstock Retiring is a major life transition, one that can bring anxiety along with relief. Making the move from a life that's centered around work to life without a job can be as exciting as it is daunting. Oftentimes, a person's idea of what retirement will look like is vastly different from their daily reality.
Preparing for retirement requires more than just financial planning — it also means knowing how to prepare for the biggest disappointments of retirement, the inevitable emotional ups and downs. Getting older brings its fair share of challenges. While retiring might seem like an entry point to simpler life, it can be hard in its own way.
Here's how to prepare for the 8 biggest disappointments of retirement, according to experts
1. Keep your expectations realistic
fizkes | Shutterstock
Many retirees imagine that stepping away from their careers means stepping into their vacation era, where stress and anxiety no longer exist. As lovely as a stress-free life sounds, it isn't realistic.
Having so much unstructured time can bring up a fair amount of anxiety for people, especially since we tend to define our self-worth around our jobs. Retiring might make you question your identity and what your purpose is, which is a completely normal part of the process.
Retired educator Dr. Riley Moynes revealed the four phases of retirement and offered advice on how to navigate the psychological challenges that retirement presents. The first phase of retiring is a vacation mindset, which transitions into a mourning period, where retirees grieve the loss of their usual routine.
"Phase two is when we lose the big 5," Dr. Moynes explained. "We lose that routine. We lose a sense of identity. We lose many of the relationships that we had established at work. We lose a sense of purpose, and for some people, there is a loss of power." Dr. Moynes shared that phase three of retirement is a trial and error period, during which people seek out how to give their lives meaning. He described phase four as "a time to reinvent and rewire."
Keeping your expectations grounded in reality can help prepare you for the sense of disappointment that can accompany retiring. Acknowledging that you're going to experience the full range of emotions when you retire can help you manage the transition.
2. Continue to learn
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Retiring can often lead to a later-in-life identity crisis. Since they're no longer able to define themselves through work, retirees question what their purpose in life is. Spending more time at home can make people feel extremely lonely. Finding ways to mitigate that sense of isolation is essential to having a happy, fulfilling retirement.
Just because you're no longer working doesn't mean you stop learning or engaging with the world around you. You can use your retirement to learn new skills or focus on topics you've always been interested in, like photography or learning a new language. Taking part in community activities, like visiting the library or museums, can alleviate loneliness while being culturally enriching.
There's always room for self-reflection, especially in retirement. You get to define how to want to live out these next golden years, so let your imagination take you places you never thought you'd go.
3. Establish a routine
Olezzo | Shutterstock
One of the biggest disappointments of retirement comes after the initial excitement of having fewer responsibilities wears off: the loss of structure. Most people thrive when they have a set routine, which is why retiring can often make people feel like they're just treading water, waiting for something to come along.
According to a research paper from the Canadian Journal of Counseling and Psychotherapy, one of "the most important psychological challenges resulting from retirement is the loss of a work/life structure and the task of building a retirement/life structure to replace it."
John W. Osbourne, the author of the paper, posed the following question: "Will the loss of continuity, meaning, and a sense of identity fracture the familiar roles that constituted a work/life structure? The brief answer to this question is 'yes,' but not necessarily for all retirees." He noted that "Having life goals that continue into retirement is more important than the nature of those goals when it comes to a successful transition."
Your goals don't have to be huge in order to be meaningful. You might set the goal of starting your day by drinking coffee while watching the birds in your yard. Your goals might include walking new routes through your neighborhood or texting a friend you've fallen out of touch with. Even if your new routine is simple, it still provides a sense of purpose, which is a key part of feeling good about yourself in retirement.
4. Plan for financial surprises
fizkes | Shutterstock
Money is a major concern for people who are preparing to retire, which is why so much of the advice around retirement focuses on the financial aspects. According to the United States Department of Labor, the average American spends around 20 years in retirement, yet only about half of them have calculated how much money they need to save for it.
The Department of Labor referenced data stating that people need 70-90% of their pre-retirement income to have the same standard of living when they stop working. They recommend planning ahead and educating yourself about the retirement plan your employers offer. Starting off small is better than not starting at all, which is why they advise putting money into your retirement fund as soon as you can.
5. Stay connected to other people
imtmphoto | Shutterstock
Feeling disconnected from other people is one of the biggest disappointments of retirement. Yet retiring doesn't automatically have to mean isolation, as long as you prepare for the emotional challenges of your social networks shifting.
According to an analysis of retirement adjustment predictors published in the Journal of Vocational Behavior, social participation was one of the strongest associations that predicted how people will adjust to retirement. Building off previous research studies, the analysis pointed out that quantity of relationships isn't the only determinant of a retiree's well-being. The quality of their relationships could be a more important aspect of adjustment, meaning that the amount of social interactions matters less than how connected they are to the people in their lives.
There's nothing wrong with having only a few friends, especially if the strength of those bonds lift your spirits and empower you to be the best version of yourself, even in retirement.
6. Make a legacy plan
Chay_Tee | Shutterstock
A 2022 AARP survey on preparing for retirement found that 57% of retirees and 41% of non-retired adults don't give any thought to planning for their emotional needs once they leave their jobs behind. AARP reported that almost half of retirees said they didn't consider ways to find fulfillment once they retired.
Making a plan for how you want to be remembered is a very valuable way to find meaning in your retirement. You can give back to your community through volunteering or tutoring. You can mentor younger people who are finding their footing in your professional field.
Many retirees find that they look back into the past as much as they're thinking about their future, which can mean healing old wounds and focusing on family connections. Writing down your life's journey in a memoir can provide a major sense of meaning, while creating a document of living history that will last for future generations.
7. Prioritize your health
Rocketclips, Inc. | Shutterstock
Aging isn't designed for the weak-spirited. Graying hair and wrinkles might be the most obvious signs of getting older, as experiencing a decline in your physical health isn't always noticeable from the outside. Staying active in retirement is an essential part of living a well-balanced life.
The aches and pains of aging can make it hard to move the way you used to, so be gentle with yourself, both literally and emotionally. Take meandering walks with friends. Try a new low-impact activity, like water aerobics or tai chi. Stretch.
Tending to what your body needs is a key part of practicing true self-care. As Clare Waisman, SUDCC II/ M-RAS, explained, "The ultimate goal of self-care is to enable us to live the healthiest and happiest life possible."
"It's about fostering a harmonious relationship with ourselves, both physically and mentally, so that we can navigate life's challenges with resilience, embrace joy, and savor the richness of our experiences," she concluded.
8. Practice gratitude
Tint Media | Shutterstock
It can be tempting to look at everything you don't have once you retire, but focusing on what you're missing means you're not paying attention to what you have. Establishing a gratitude practice can help you stay grounded and shift your perspective away from living in the past to existing in the present moment.
Research from the Journal of Happiness Studies found that practicing gratitude for at least six weeks, even for as little as 15 minutes per day, can change a person's perspective and improve their mental well-being.
Practicing gratitude doesn't have to be anything huge. It can be a small, simple activity, like listing five things that you like about your life or writing down memories that bring you joy. The point of practicing gratitude is to acknowledge the good in your life, which can temper any disappointment you might feel in retirement.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.