11 Hopeful Reminders For People Who Are Struggling Through A Hard Time
Hold onto hope.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock As we move through life, we often face challenges that feel insurmountable. No matter how privileged a person seems, everyone experiences low points. We all come up against trials and tribulations that cause us to question who we are and how we want to live.
Even in the depths of despair, it’s important to hold onto hope.
Here are 11 hopeful reminders for people struggling through hard times:
1. Internal validation is more powerful than external validation
Lifestyle influencer Sam Shunney shared insights that helped him find hope when he was struggling, and the first thing on his list was to stop seeking outside validation when the answer to fulfillment lies within.
“Expecting an external factor to fill an internal void you’re experiencing is never going to work,” he said. “If you’re expecting to find happiness in these external things, whether it’s materialistic [or] another relationship, you’re not going to find it.”
“It’s like trying to put a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches,” he concluded.
True happiness comes from within, as does true healing. Looking outside of ourselves can serve as a distraction to our troubles, but they’re only temporary. At the end of the day, we’re left with ourselves, so it's always worth putting in the work to find fulfillment.
2. Sitting with discomfort makes you stronger
“When you’re healing, it’s important to note that the point is not to return to a place where everything is perfect, but instead, to develop the ability to respond to what’s imperfect,” Shunney explained.
Life is far from perfect, and letting go of the expectation that it should be perfect provides us grace to move through our struggles. Learning how to approach hard times is one of the most important lessons we can learn.
While no one welcomes hardship, the practice of feeling all of our feelings and accepting the hard ones teaches us how to push through to the other side. The age-old adage remains true: The only way out is through.
3. You’re never alone
Josep Suria | Shutterstock
Going through hard times can make us feel isolated — like we’re the only ones who understand how hard life is. Yet that belief only makes our hard times harder, and we don’t have to go through it alone.
“If you have the expectation that you have to go through this process alone, that is not the case,” Shunney said. “It is completely okay to ask for help.”
“As a man, asking for help can be extremely daunting, especially if you’re under the impression that receiving help makes you weak,” he continued. “On the contrary, I think that recognizing you need help and taking steps in the right direction is highly commendable.”
Asking for help might make you feel vulnerable, but it’s really a show of strength and emotional intelligence to ask for the support you need.
4. Take care of your mind and your body
Shunney shared two tools that have helped him heal: Going to therapy and exercising.
Therapy can provide you with a neutral support person whose main focus is to guide you on the path to healing. It’s a space where you can air the deepest parts of yourself without judgment, and releasing what you're holding onto will always make you feel better.
Moving our bodies also promotes healing. Exercise releases endorphins and builds our strength. Even the simple practice of going for a walk outside is enough to get us out of our heads and remind us that we’re part of something bigger than ourselves.
Bignai | Shutterstock
5. Seek a spiritual practice to ground you
Shunney mentioned another practice that aided his healing: “Turning towards God, not because I wanted to, but for the first point in my life, I was broken to a point where I needed to.”
Not everyone is religious or will become religious as they move to heal themselves, and that’s OK. Finding a spiritual practice or ritual that connects you to the universe can be a powerful way to figure out what’s important to you and what makes you feel most like yourself.
It could be drinking a cup of tea every night while looking up at the stars. It could be stretching while listening to your favorite music every morning. Putting traditions in place that make you feel fulfilled and connected to yourself is crucial to healing.
Iryna Imago | Shutterstock
6. Build a solid foundation for yourself.
Shunney shared a thought inspired by the Bible, noting that people don’t have to be religious to find meaning in it.
“If you’re seeking to reap the benefits of the situation without the proper foundation being set, it’s not going to work out,” he said. “So, if you’re going through some stuff, make sure you’re working on your foundation, whatever that may be.”
Homes can’t be built from nothing: They need a solid foundation and good bones. People are the same way in that we need to base our lives around the things we can hold onto.
For some, that’s family and friends. For others, it’s caring for their beloved pets. No matter what your foundation looks like, building it up piece by piece will help you feel stable.
7. Today is a chapter, not your whole life story
Hard times don’t last forever, even if it feels like they will. Acknowledging that our lives are made up of more than just the difficult parts can offer a level of perspective.
We’ve moved through hard times in the past, and we’ll make it through them again.
8. What you’re going through isn’t permanent
Logan Cohen, a licensed therapist and certified trauma professional, shared words of wisdom to help people find strength in hard times.
“This too shall pass,” he declared. “Everything we have, feel, and experience is in a moment of time. It’s not permanent.”
Cohen noted that “This might feel sad and scary, but it can also be liberating.”
Understanding that no feeling is permanent can free us from the anxiety that we will always feel like something is wrong.
9. Your most important job is to be yourself
Cohen emphasized that it’s not anyone’s job to be liked by everyone.
“It’s not your job to be liked,” he said. “It’s your job to be yourself.”
Showing up as your most authentic self lets “the wrong people move on" and "makes room for the right people to gravitate” toward you.
10. Happiness is a choice you can make
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
“Happiness or peace is not something you earn or wait for. It’s a mindful choice you make every day,” Cohen declared.
It might feel impossible to be happy when you’re at a low point, but joy and pain can exist simultaneously. Happiness is a practice, something we can find in the little things, even when we’re faced with struggle.
11. Healing takes time
Cohen used a gardening metaphor to explain how healing is a process, saying, “You wouldn’t plant a seed and then dig it up every few minutes to see if it’s grown.”
“So, why do you keep questioning yourself, your hard work, and your decisions? Have patience,” he advised. “Manage that overthinking and keep watering your seeds.”
Holding onto hope when we’re at our lowest isn’t easy. Reminding ourselves that we’re not at the end of our story is part of the process of lifting ourselves up and making space for the good things to come.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.