11 Harsh Realities Of Growing Up That Gen Z Is Still Figuring Out
With social media, comparison culture, and technological accessibility, Gen Z's entrance into adulthood hasn't been easy.
Gigi Delgado | Shutterstock As they enter into adulthood and navigate their 20s, many Gen Zers feel overwhelmed by the chaos of their new lives — struggling with financial hardship, societal pressures, new relationships, and their careers without clear space to come up for air. While early adulthood is often a shock for all generations, with a variety of different struggles to consider, Gen Z's specific upbringing amid social media and technology has sparked a collectively unique experience.
While they've excelled in various fields, trailblazing new corporate mindsets and setting an example overcoming toxic traditionalist expectations, there are still several harsh realities of growing up that Gen Z is still figuring out.
Here are 11 harsh realities of growing up that Gen Z is still figuring out
1. People care about results, not excuses
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With a pressure towards perfectionism and societal expectations that prove burdensome on younger generations, many Gen Zers feel a pressure to "explain" their perceived flaws and mistakes in the face of confrontation. However, it's important for people of all ages to remember that oftentimes people aren't looking for excuses, just results.
If that means you need better boundaries, figure out the best way to set them. If that means you're responsible for getting your work done or reinventing new strategies for efficiency, that's the best way forward.
While being honest and communicating your situation is healthy, making excuses only takes away opportunities for growth — whether it's personally, professionally, or amid an intimate relationship.
2. It's your parents' first time living, too
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Considering Gen Z is more aware of the link between childhood experience and their adult struggles as a result of their technological accessibility and commitment to emotional well-being, many struggle with resentful feelings, familial disconnect, and avoidant attachment as a coping mechanism.
While it's important to hold your family members accountable and heal from unresolved trauma, it's also necessary to lead with empathy and grace, remembering that it's not just your first time living.
Research on "no contact" orders between adult children and their parents also reveal that Gen Zers are also more willing to act on their resentful feelings and isolation in their families, removing themselves from a toxic family dynamic to heal.
Of course, healing from trauma doesn't look the same for anyone, regardless of their situation or age, and oftentimes a clean separation is the best way to move forward.
At the very least, remembering that everyone is living for the first time, just like you, can be a helpful reality for leading with empathy in every one of your interactions — whether they're with a parent, a friend, or a stranger.
3. Life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger
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Considering many Gen Zers and younger generations have been promised success and stability in exchange for following traditional paths like higher education and Corporate America, the disappointment that comes with the current chaos of adulthood — riddled with financial insecurity, isolation, and stress — can be overwhelming.
If you're not committed to putting yourself in uncomfortable situations that promote growth or embracing change as a means for personal development, you'll never grow into an adult capable of doing hard things. Of course, life never gets easier, despite what you might have been promised; you only grow into a more self-aware, insightful, and strong person that can handle struggle more efficiently, but it takes practice.
4. Being comfortable with discomfort leads to growth
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There's power in discomfort, like communications expert Ashley Robertson argues, especially for young adults and workers navigating a new path or stage in their lives. By accepting and celebrating challenge and change, rather than isolating themselves from it, Gen Z can find beauty in discomfort.
However, struggling with anxiety, isolation, and a lacking sense of belonging, many younger generations find it easier to avoid conflict, challenge, and change as a self-defense mechanism for coping with their uncomfortable emotions.
Especially with a pressure to be perfect navigating adulthood for the first time, many Gen Zers miss out on opportunities for success — in new relationships, the workplace, and even with their own personal growth — because they've adopted a misguided truth that discomfort is never productive.
Yes, self-care, relaxation, and a space to feel comfortable are all equally important for our emotional and physical well-being, but finding comfort in discomfort can ensure you're embracing the uncertainty of life instead of remaining stagnant.
5. People you love will hurt you
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Healthy relationships aren't defined by perfection or a state of constant lust, bliss, and happiness, despite what they might be portrayed as by curated social media feeds and the traditional media that Gen Z grew up consuming.
While the reality that people you love may hurt you is a tough pill to swallow, a truly healthy relationship is defined by how you move forward from betrayal or a breach in trust.
With healthy boundaries and open communication, adult relationships can flourish, even when someone feels hurt by their partner or offended by a friend.
For younger generations that have been burdened by the comparison culture of "perfect" relationships and a suffocating sense of perfectionism, this has quickly become one of the harsh realities of growing up that Gen Z is still figuring out.
6. You're not entitled to anything
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Many generations struggle with a sense of entitlement that's difficult to unlearn in adulthood, especially if they've cultivated a mindset where they don't feel empowered to work for their accomplishments or earn other people's praise.
While everyone is entitled to basic respect, trust, and empathy in their relationships and connections, in a way, they still have to earn those basic principles by setting proper boundaries and cutting out toxic people who don't prioritize them.
Experts like Dr. Smitha Bhandari argue that breaking out of an entitlement mindset starts with understanding one basic principle: believing that other people "owe you" will always lead to disappointment.
Regardless of the way you grew up, the trauma you've struggled through, or your identity, you're in control of your life — don't expect other people's actions and priorities to cultivate personal success, growth, or happiness.
7. Friends can turn into strangers overnight
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While traditional institutions like school, university, or even adolescent jobs often cultivate secure spaces for Gen Zers to maintain consistent friendships, they often struggle with the harsh reality of relationship fragility in adulthood as people's lives become more complex. They're forced to reimagine healthy avenues for communication with their loved ones.
Not only are they often forced to schedule time to see their friends that they would have otherwise lived with, saw in class, or consistently chatted with at work, they have to reconstruct boundaries that make space for their other adult responsibilities like careers, new relationships, and changing identities.
Without a consistent commitment to communication, many friendships fade away in adulthood — not necessarily in a toxic way, but in ways that can certainly be uncomfortable and challenging for Gen Zers navigating this next stage in their lives.
8. Comparing yourself to others will never feel truly fulfilling
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Especially amid growing technological accessibility and social media, two facets of modern life that many Gen Zers have exclusively grown up around, the toxic cycle of comparison culture can be incredibly harmful as they enter into adulthood.
While many Gen Zers have been labeled the individualistic and trailblazers of their generation, many still struggle to make room for their authentic identities in the face of constant trends, societal norms, and expectations.
From struggling to realize their promised success through traditional institutions like higher education, to facing financial hardship in the face of creative endeavors, many are too focused on building stability in their adult lives to pour into their personal life.
Coupled with lacking societal belonging and consequential isolation, choosing to leave comparison culture behind is not just one of the harsh realities of growing up that Gen Z is still figuring out, but a sense of stability and comfort that they've struggled to maintain.
9. Your job doesn't need to be your entire identity
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While many Gen Z workers are paving the way for this new mindset that your job can simply be a source of income, rather than a facet of your identity or self-worth, many still struggle with embodying this harsh reality in adulthood — motivated and fueled by traditional expectations for success in the workplace.
Especially for those that have followed a traditional path that urges young adults to have their careers figured out by the time they're 18 years old, figuring out how to maintain healthy boundaries at work can be overwhelming.
Especially now that many Gen Zers are struggling with anxiety over financial security, like a 2023 EY study argues, figuring out how to prioritize personal time and separate their identity from work, while still being able to live off their income, is becoming harder and harder in the current economy and job market.
10. Getting a degree and having experience isn't always enough to land a successful job
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According to career coach Sarah Felice, nearly 70% of job seekers land a position through their network connections, putting people applying on job boards, sending out applications, and interviewing on new teams at an incredible disadvantage for landing a new job.
Especially for Gen Z, coming out of university without a pre-determined job, being able to prove themselves worthy of a position amid stereotypical generation stigmas and the pressures of adulthood can be overwhelming.
One of the harsh realities of growing up that Gen Z is still figuring out is job insecurity in adulthood, even with prior experience, higher education, and perseverance. Considering they were sold the dream of hard work and traditional higher education, entering the current job market and workforce can be disillusioning, disappointing, and incredibly underwhelming.
11. You're never too late or too old
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According to a Barna study on Gen Z pressures, nearly 56% of Gen Z feel an incredible pressure to be successful early in life, with many suggesting they want to finish their education, land a dream job, and start a family by the time they turn 30.
Alongside these internal pressures, many also feel overwhelmed by societal and familial expectations for their success, with 42% arguing they feel "judged" by older generations and 42% experiencing a need to be perfect.
With comparison culture, social media, and constant online reminders of everyone else's curated success, Gen Z struggles to find a comfort in their youth — prohibiting them from trying new things, making mistakes, making core memories, and living life spontaneously without a consistent plan.
Coupled with a collective isolation and consequential social skills, many feel alienated from the traditional youth experience — aging themselves and passing up on opportunities because they're too overwhelmed by the pressure of perfection and success.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.