8 Happiness Life Lessons That Most People Learn Too Late In Life
There are some important things we don't quite understand until too much time has passed.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock Everyone's ultimate goal in life is to be happy and content, but getting there is no walk in the park.
We all go through challenges and heartaches that shape us into the people we are today. Yet there are some lessons life lessons we learn too late.
Here are 8 life lessons most people learn too late in life
1. Help others to the best of your ability
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In life, we are taught to always be kind to others. And there's a good reason for that, besides having good morals. Kindness is contagious and fills us with joy. It attracts positive energy and provides good karma, giving us the momentum we need to accomplish our dreams.
Additionally, as one study found, kindness can help alleviate depression and other mental health disorders, while another study says that kindness can increase our happiness.
However, the unfortunate truth is that not enough people are selfless in this way. Research indicates that people tend to limit their kindness because they underestimate the value of kindness.
2. Focus on your own needs first
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We may think that being selfish sometimes isn't the right thing to do, all because we may have been taught that the happiness of others outweighs our own; that we have to be considerate of others because that's the kind thing to do.
But not learning how to prioritize yourself is the exact reason why you feel so drained, and it's a lesson many people learn too late. According to research, "The higher the perception of stress, the less self-care activities are adopted, and in turn the lower the beneficial effects on well-being."
This means that when you're feeling stressed, it's important to focus on your needs first. Take time to reset or rest. And remember, you can't help anyone until you help yourself.
3. Surround yourself with positive influences
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Who we surround ourselves with can either make or break us. In this case, surrounding yourself with positivity is the way to go. Positive people inspire us to be better and motivate us to reach new heights. They fill us with joy and endless good memories.
And multiple studies show that healthy adult friendships predict well-being and better mental health outcomes. Even if you've spent a lot of time around people who bring you down, there's still time to bring positive influences into your life.
4. Never take anything too personally
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It's all too easy to let things get to you. Whether it's a backhanded compliment, a comment from a co-worker, or even a remark made in jest by a friend, taking things personally afflicts many of us. Humans hate feeling judged and we hate messing up. However, this is pretty unavoidable.
In life, we're bound to face rejection or experience heartache. We will no doubt feel embarrassed or disrespected in the face of criticism. But how we handle that rejection matters most.
One study on high-risk individuals determined that self-affirmation helped frame "otherwise threatening messages" into a more positive framework, by allowing us to view it in a helpful or valuable manner. So, when we are able to not take things too seriously and view it as a lesson, we are more likely to find value in those experiences. And it makes us view life through a positive, happier lens.
5. Let go of the past and find ways to heal
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Most of us have experienced emotional wounds at some point in our life. And for some, we were taught that to seek help or to heal those wounds only made us "weak." Yet letting go of the past and healing are essential to finding everlasting happiness.
Research says that group therapy intervention "suggests high acceptability and significant reduction in trauma symptoms and associated symptoms." Through this, learning to let go will make it much easier to find joy and happiness in life, an important lesson that, unfortunately, most people learn too late.
6. Appreciate where you are now in your journey
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When we are in the midst of turmoil, it can be difficult to appreciate what we have or where we are in life. But it's important to understand that every moment, even the bad ones, has significance. Each moment teaches us something invaluable and helps steer us onto the right path.
Understandably, it might not feel this way at first. It might even feel like the universe has it out for you. But if you can learn to value what you have now, you'll find even more fulfillment in what you have, leading you to happiness in the present and future.
7. Focus on one thing at a time
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Don't stress yourself out by agonizing over the little things. Experiencing constant stress over time will decrease your happiness and make it harder for you to live your best life.
According to research on the effects of chronic stress, "Diseases whose development has been linked to both stress and inflammation include cardiovascular dysfunctions, diabetes, cancer, autoimmune syndromes, and mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety disorders."
So, do your best to focus on one thing at a time. Use deep breathing exercises to calm ruminating thoughts and ground yourself in reality.
8. Not everyone will like you — and that's okay
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We may try too hard to get people to like us, but that gets us nowhere. In fact, we often learn too late in life that not everyone will like us or want to be friends with us. But that shouldn't deter us from seeking out relationships with others.
Some people might dislike you for no apparent reason, but remind yourself that their opinion of you does not and should not affect you. Because when you allow yourself to get caught up in other people's wants and desires, you'll unconsciously begin to abandon your own. And that makes you miserable in the long run.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.