6 Habits Of People Who Are Basically Born To Live Their Best Life, According To Psychology
Psychology says these habits set happy, thriving people apart.
Kampus Production | Canva Breaking up with perfectionism is as difficult as and as easy as regularly choosing to live differently. So, how do you counteract your perfectionist upbringing?
Are there things you can do to balance yourself out of the "do things right" mindset? Yes, there are.
Here are 6 habits of people who are basically born to live their best life:
1. Feel your feelings
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Perfectionists suppress their emotions. To undo that damage, you must become intimately acquainted with your feelings. This process is similar to getting strength back into a muscle that has atrophied.
2. Get in touch with your authentic desires
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Instead of living your life for others, you must become aware of what it is that you want. Easier said than done.
Sit still and think about it. Meditate on it. Journal about it. Have conversations with friends, family members, and coaches.
Try a bunch of things, "fail" at most of them, and repeat. Do whatever it takes to figure out what it is that you want, and then go after those things until they are a part of your daily life.
Research highlights the importance of authenticity and aligning with one's true desires, linking it to improved mental health, stronger relationships, and a greater sense of purpose and self-esteem.
3. Be a human being, not a human doing
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Regularly remind yourself that you are inherently valuable just for existing, not just for the value that you bring to the world in a more externally tangible way. You are loveable as you are, today, in this very moment. I promise.
4. Let go
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Instead of pretending like you have any control over life, surrender to life. Surrender into resting and regularly making time for your self-care.
Surrender to allowing yourself to experience your emotions as they come up for you. Surrender to letting someone love you. Surrender to not knowing what you’re going to be doing with your life in five years, let alone five minutes from now.
Let go. Take your hands off the metaphorical steering wheel, and simply trust that life has your back.
Holding onto negative emotions, toxic relationships, or limiting beliefs can fuel anxiety and stress. A 2022 study found that letting go releases these burdens, restoring balance and calmness. It will also enable individuals to channel their mental, emotional, and physical energy productively rather than getting stuck in negative thoughts and emotions.
5. Don't take life so seriously
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Perfectionists tend to take every part of life overly seriously. The antidote? Laughter.
Whether you intentionally make time for laughter by going to see movies, stand-up comics, or professional improvisers or not, cultivating the ability to laugh at life (and at yourself) will serve you well in your journey of letting go of perfectionism.
6. Meet your own needs first
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Instead of over-functioning and trying to meet everyone else’s needs before your own, try flipping the script. Meet your own needs first. Many perfectionists have no idea where to even begin with such a task.
Here’s some recommended homework for you if this concept fries circuits in your brain: commit to putting yourself first for an entire week. Invest in your self-care. Indulge in the kind of play that you enjoy. Make your self-care and rest a priority. Be selfish.
See what thoughts or feelings come up for you during this process, and choose to love and accept those thoughts and feelings. If you enjoy the week and prioritize your own needs, carry on. If you hate it (hint: you won’t) then go back to your old ways and continue to always be on the edge of burnout. The choice is yours.
Life is a joke. A big, messy, chaotic, beautiful joke. Treat it as such. Take yourself less seriously. Laugh more. Love bigger. Be a mess. Your heart, body, and mind will thank you for the shift.
A 2023 study confirmed the importance of recognizing and prioritizing one's own needs for overall well-being. Neglecting them can lead to emotional distress and dysfunction, while meeting them fosters happiness, self-care, and healthy relationships.
Jordan Gray is a five-time #1 Amazon best-selling author, public speaker, and relationship coach with more than a decade of practice behind him. His work has been featured in The New York Times, BBC, Forbes, The Huffington Post, and more.
