People Who Live Mentally Calm Lives Have These 4 Habits, According To Research
Mental calmness results from healthy psychological super-habits.
Leighann Blackwood | Unsplash One of the big lessons I learned after years and years of anxiety and personal insecurities was the power of cultivating mentally calm habits. Doing things repeatedly always leaves a groove.
Habits aren’t just for physical health and business growth. Mental strength and the resulting experience of having a calmer life result from these healthy psychological super-habits.
People who live mentally calm lives have these habits:
1. They don't buy into every thought
The most uptight people I know never received the memo that we needn’t believe (buy into) our thoughts. Thoughts are illusions at best. They are suggestions and approximations intended to help us make sense of our world.
Too many of us see them as some kind of matter-of-fact gospel. They never were. Your stressful thoughts don’t need to be taken seriously. All there is the calming beauty of the present moment.
2. They're aware of artificial dopamine spikers
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We need to be careful with things that unnaturally spike dopamine (our motivation hormone), like refined sugar and video games.
When we continually flood ourselves with cheap hits of this stuff, we lose our motivation and joy for natural inputs like walks and creativity. It’s simply easier to feel good vibes more of the time when we’re not amped up on artificial stimuli.
Activating awareness of situations or stimuli that trigger a sudden, unnatural surge of dopamine in your brain, usually caused by excessive social media use, sugary foods, or addictive video games. It can lead to a temporary feeling of pleasure but can negatively impact your overall mood and motivation when overused.
A 2023 study suggested prioritizing activities that provide sustained pleasure and satisfaction, like exercise, spending time with loved ones, or pursuing hobbies.
3. They are willing to have imperfect information
One of the best sources of fear and stress comes from many of us wanting to know what the future will hold.
We get stressed because if we don’t know, we can’t possibly avoid all the mistakes we’re deathly scared to make. This comes out of insecurity. Relaxed people are tolerant of uncertainty.
They are okay with not having all the facts. They have faith that their innate intelligence will be there for them when they need it. It always shows up.
Being okay with not knowing everything can make you calmer because it releases the pressure to have all the answers, which is a significant source of anxiety. Research published by the North Suburban Center for Anxiety explained that by accepting uncertainty, you can let go of the need to control every situation, allowing for a more relaxed and open mindset.
4. They look fear right in the eye
A common trait in worriers, depressed people, scaredy cats, addicts, and Doubting Debbies is a preference for escape. They reject the reality of the present. They figured a suitable coping strategy for the struggles of life was to get on outta there.
They do this by hitching a ride on the magic carpets of thought, no matter how prickly. They may also try to numb the hurt.
But the solution isn’t to run. It’s to look directly at the thing you fear and, in doing so, sense an immediate fading of the ‘terror’ right then and there.
This is a practice. It’s a habit. To return to what’s there, more often, more of the time. Let go when you want to rage. To be there with us. Seeing things for what they are in full technicolor lucidity is your salvation.
One of the most effective ways to stop worrying is to schedule worry time. In this approach, you set aside a specific period each day to focus on your worries deliberately and then actively try to dismiss them outside that designated time.
An American Psychological Association study explained that this approach helps to limit the amount of time spent ruminating on anxieties and can significantly reduce overall worry levels.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.