10 Habits Of Unbothered People That The Rest Of Us Can Learn From
Sometimes the key to not worrying so much is to simply stop caring. (Kind of.)
Soloviova Liudmyla / Shutterstock Most of us dream of being unbothered by the world around us, yet unfortunately, this is nearly impossible. With anxiety and perfectionist tendencies at an all-time high, most individuals don't know how to simply not care anymore. Caring too much can lead to compassion fatigue, absolutely impacting people's mental health for the worse.
That said, there are habits of unbothered people that the rest of us can learn from. From learning to let go to not allowing their emotions to get the better of them, the habits unbothered people choose to not engage in are endless.
10 habits of unbothered people that the rest of us can learn from
1. They don't allow their emotions to get the better of them
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The first habit of unbothered people is their ability to not allow their emotions to get the better of them. Understandably, this is a lot easier said than done. After all, not letting other people's comments get the better of them isn't exactly a walk in the park.
The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that emotions like anger can lead to irrational decisions that may impact people's relationships for the worse. They explained that even suppressed anger can cause this as passive-aggressive behavior increases, causing others to be hostile toward their partner, family, and friends.
That said, how do people control their emotions like an unbothered person? The APA suggested that people use relaxation techniques or try replacing their irrational thoughts with more logical ones. For instance, cutting off words such as 'never' helps people think just a little more rationally.
2. They never say more than necessary
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Everyone loves to talk about themselves. A study in 2012 found that people devote about 30-40% of their speech to strictly discussing their own experiences. Because of that, they might unintentionally talk about things that other people shouldn't know.
But unlike most of us, the habit of unbothered people drives them to never say more than necessary. Keeping things to the point allows people to say what they need to say without any potential for misunderstandings.
According to a study in 2022, feeling misunderstood can lead to lower life satisfaction, motivation, and higher perceived stress. So, take a page out of an unbothered person's playbook and never say more than necessary. It'll prevent a heap of misunderstandings and headaches in the long run.
3. They aren't afraid to say no and set boundaries
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Learning to say no isn't easy. According to a survey from YouGov, over 49% of Americans identify as people pleasers. As a result, the idea of setting boundaries or saying, 'No thank you," might feel intimidating to most people.
However, if the rest of us don't learn the habits of unbothered people when it comes to setting boundaries, then they can kiss their mental health goodbye. Physician Susan Biali Haas M.D. stated that poor boundaries lead to burnout and even a decrease in productivity.
Setting boundaries isn't easy, but clinical psychologist Rubin Khoddam Ph.D. explained that it doesn't need to be impossible. By identifying their limits, communicating boundaries clearly, practicing what they say, avoiding over-apologizing, and upholding boundaries, nearly anyone, even people-pleasers, can set boundaries.
RELATED: 11 Phrases Nice People Use To Politely Say No To Things They Don’t Want To Do
4. They let go of the things they can't control
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Most people have an itching desire to take the reins on everything. After all, most of us don't like feeling vulnerable and will try to control our surroundings to prevent that vulnerability from creeping in.
However, this isn't realistic in the grand scheme of things. Whether people like it or not, life will almost always get the better of us in the end. Despite this, unbothered people don't allow this fear to turn them inside out. Rather, they embrace this fact and use it to let go. This is important, as refusing to let go has been associated with anxiety, dysphoria, and a decrease in well-being.
Don't be afraid to get professional help or journal your thoughts. Though it might seem 'silly,' journaling is effective. One study in 2005 found that journaling 15 minutes twice a week leads to a significant decrease in depression, anxiety, and hostility.
5. They remain confident in their truth
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One habit of unbothered people that the rest of us can learn from is remaining confident in their truth. Many people will throw in the towel all for the sake of keeping peace. Because of this, they begin to grow less confident in their truth and most importantly, in themselves.
According to Professor of Education in Anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine Ruth Gotian, Ed.D., MS, not feeling secure within themselves can have devastating consequences, as it has been associated with low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, perfectionism, and, procrastination.
Knowing this, we need to learn from unbothered people and stick to what we believe in. Otherwise, our mental health might take a turn for the worse.
6. They don't expect much from others
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Another habit of unbothered people that the rest of us can learn from is not expecting much from others. It's sad to say, but people tend to break promises or let their friends or family members down.
However, this isn't necessarily a terrible thing. After all, most of us are bound to make mistakes as we're only human. People should firmly depend on themselves without the expectation that someone else is going to come save them.
Now, just to be clear: people should still be able to depend on loved ones for emotional support. But when it comes to finances or giving good advice, don't expect much from others. After all, people can only do so much.
7. They don't aspire to be perfect
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Perfection is something that nobody should strive for. According to a study in 2022, perfectionist tendencies lead to worse mental health and eventual burnout.
However, unbothered people have already created the habit of continuing to be unbothered by perfection. Unlike most people, they don't cry over spilled milk and instead, use this imperfection to learn from their mistakes and do better — all without beating themselves up about it in the process.
8. They stay focused on the present
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It's all too easy for people to get lost in the past. Having tons of regrets and what-ifs circling around in their head can make pretty much anyone overwhelmed. That said, a habit of unbothered people that the rest of us can learn from is staying focused on the present.
Understandably, this is a lot easier said than done. But refusing to even try can have devastating consequences on someone's mental health. A study published in 2009 looked at children and found that constant negative thinking was positively associated with depression and anxiety.
So, as hard as it may be, people should do their best to let go of the things holding them back. Otherwise, it might just destroy them.
9. They practice gratitude daily
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A habit of unbothered people that the rest of us can learn from is practicing gratitude daily. Most people underestimate just how important gratitude is. Yet, according to a study in 2023, gratitude interventions led to better mental health outcomes such as an improvement in depression and anxiety.
However, unbothered people already knew this. As a result, they've already gotten into the habit of journaling what they're grateful for and murmuring an appreciation every single day.
So, if people want to catch up with unbothered people then this is an important habit that the rest of us can learn from.
10. They don't engage in any drama
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Finally, the last habit of unbothered people that the rest of us can learn from is refusing to engage in any drama. Now, this is sometimes easier said than done.
When things hit the fan and family members, partners, or friends start going at it, it can be difficult to remain unbothered. As is stands, drama is the quickest way for people to lose their cool and engage in petty behaviors.
However, unlike most people, unbothered people put firm boundaries down and make it clear they're not engaging in any gossip. Looking their loved ones in the eye they'll say, "Hey, I love you but I don't want to be a part of that situation."
Though this can be a hard step to take, these individuals still manage to keep their cool and stand tall in their opinion. As a result, those around them tend to respect their wishes and move on to a different topic.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help topics such as relationships, career, family, and astrology.