The 1 Simple Habit That People Who Always Make Their Dreams Come True Have Mastered, According To Steve Jobs
It isn't what you think.
insta_photos | Shutterstock There are certain traits that people have to cultivate if they want to become the best versions of themselves — confidence, trusting their intuition, and risk-taking, to name a few.
However, according to Steve Jobs, there is one often-overlooked trait that is more important than all the rest.
The 1 simple habit that people who always make their dreams come true have mastered, according to Steve Jobs, is asking for help.
In an interview from 1994, Jobs highlighted the habit that led him to success. He insisted that asking for help had allowed him to live out his dreams.
“I’ve actually always found something to be very true, which is, most people don’t get those experiences ‘cause they’d never ask,” Job said.
“I’ve never found anybody that didn’t want to help me if I asked them for help,” he continued.
His message is meant to inspire, and it certainly does, yet it’s important to note that various structural inequities exist within the U.S. that make it harder for some to access the kind of leg up that Jobs was able to ask for and receive.
Ultimately, Jobs’ guidance was coming from the right place. Asking for support from the people around us is what helps us succeed. That doesn't mean it's easy to do.
In an article for Psychology Today, Joan Rosenberg, Ph.D., wrote, "Most people who have grown up in individualistic cultures like the United States are often raised with the belief that relying on others and asking for help is a burden to others and makes you seem emotionally weak. Despite these views, there is ultimately very little that any of us do to succeed fully on our own, even if that is hard to acknowledge. You need both independence and dependence — not one or the other."
He told the story of calling Bill Hewlett when he was 12 years old to ask the engineer and co-founder of Hewlett-Packard for help.
“Hi, I’m Steve Jobs, I’m 12 years old,” he recalled saying during the call. “I’m a student in high school and I want to build a frequency counter and I was wondering if you had any spare parts I could have.”
“He laughed, and he gave me the spare parts to build this frequency counter, and he gave me a job that summer in Hewlett-Packard, working on the assembly line, putting nuts and bolts together on frequency counters,” he said. “I was in heaven.”
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“I’ve never found anyone who said no or hung up the phone when I called,” Jobs added. “I just asked.”
That no one would say “no” to young Steve Jobs highlights how structures in the U.S. are built to boost one very specific demographic and leave everyone else behind.
Jobs explained that once he reached the top of his industry, he aimed to help others, noting, “When people ask me, I try to be as responsive, you know, to pay that debt of gratitude back.”
Dreamers solely dream, while doers ask for help.
“Most people never pick up the phone and call,” Jobs said. “Most people never ask. And that’s what separates, sometimes, the people who do things from the people that just dream about them.”
“You gotta act,” he concluded. “And you’ve got to be willing to fail. You’ve got to be willing to crash and burn with people on the phone, with starting a company, whatever. If you’re afraid of failing, you won’t get very far.”
There’s never any shame or harm in asking for help, no matter what that help is for. Men and boys, especially, are taught that asking for help makes them weak, a mentality that leads them to be isolated in times when they need support most.
Asking for help is vulnerable, but it doesn’t make you weak. The act of asking for support is an act of strength and bravery, and you never know how far it will carry you.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.