Girl Confronts Classmate Wearing Her 'Missing' Sweater That Was Donated To A Local Church & Demands It Back
The sweater had sentimental value to the girl, but was it justified to ask for it back?
Kharoll Mendoza / Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock A girl was distraught after her mother donated her sweater, which had sentimental value to her, to their local church.
One day while in her school cafeteria, the girl noticed one of her classmates wearing her missing sweater and decided to take matters into her own hands. However, now she is wondering if her approach was appropriate or cruel.
The girl’s mother donated her sweater to their local church without her knowledge.
Sharing her story to Reddit, the girl revealed that before her paternal grandmother passed away, she made a sweater to give to her granddaughter. “It's a brown, blue, and white sweater that is uniquely designed and is something that not everyone would have the taste for,” the girl wrote. “But every time I wear the sweater I can almost feel the warmth of my grandma and it also slightly smelt like her.”
The girl’s mother, however, allegedly thought the sweater was hideous, and often prevented her daughter from wearing it out in public.
One day, when the girl returned home from a friend’s house, she discovered that her sweater was nowhere in sight. When she questioned her mother about it, she suggested that the girl had just misplaced it.
A week later, she noticed one of her classmates wearing the sweater she believed she had lost.
“So, I naturally go up to her and confront her,” the girl wrote, adding that she took two of her friends along with her.
When she questioned her classmate about where she got her sweater, she quietly confessed that it was donated to her. That was when the girl was able to piece together what must’ve happened.
Photo: Black Salmon / Shutterstock
“My mom is an active member of the church and the church that we go to has an outreach program,” she wrote. “There was food, lightly used and new clothes, and other necessities that were donated to people in need … I instantly knew then what my mother had done.”
The girl asked her classmate for her sweater back, explaining that her mother had donated it without her permission.
“I told her that the sweater was mine and that it was stolen from me and that the right thing for her to do is return it to me,” she wrote. Although her classmate was initially hesitant since the weather was cold, the girl offered to buy her a new sweater in exchange for her old one back.
When the girl returned home from school that day, she claimed her mother was “unhappy” to see her wearing the sweater. She became even more angry once her daughter explained how she got it back.
“[She] told me that she couldn't believe that I was so obsessed with that hideous thing that I'd even take it from somebody in need to whom she donated it,” the girl wrote. “I told her that I can't believe she'd give away something that she sees as pure trash to somebody in need and still call it charity.”
The girl’s mother argued that as long as she was living under her roof, she would abide by her rules and could do whatever she wanted with her personal belongings.
Photo: MachineHeadz / Canva Pro
She told her daughter that until she returned the sweater to her classmate, she would be reducing her allowance.
The majority of people believed that both the girl and her mother were out of line.
“Your mom shouldn't be taking your things without your permission, but you handled the interaction with the other student poorly,” one Redditor commented. “You knew she had received it via donation and yet you confronted her with your friends and made her say it was a donation to her. You likely humiliated a student that already seems to be isolated.”
“Your mother is controlling and manipulative and had no right to donate items that weren't hers,” another user wrote. “But you really could have handled the situation with the other girl much better. Rather than just confronting her in public like that you should have asked to talk to her in private and explained the situation, and then made your offer to replace the sweater with something new.”
While many people believed that the girl was not obligated to return the sweater to her classmate as it was originally hers and she was unaware that it had been donated, they felt that she owed her classmate an apology.
“You definitely DON'T need to return the sweater, but you do need to apologize for humiliating the girl who received it. Getting her a different one was a great decision,” one user suggested. “That poor girl is uncomfortable enough, and you and your friends made her feel even worse. She deserves an apology,” another user wrote.
Thankfully, the girl decided to take that advice and make things right with her classmate.
“I explained to her that I was wrong in the way I approached her and apologized for that and also told her the story behind my sweater,” the girl shared. “She was extremely understanding and accepted my apology and even told me that she could relate because she also has a close relationship with her grandmother who often likes to make things for her.”
The girl also invited her classmate to sit with her and her friends in the cafeteria and hoped that one day they would become close friends.
Although the girl’s sweater had a special meaning to her, once items are donated, it's generally best to respect the nature of the donation and avoid asking for them back.
As difficult as her life is without her grandmother, the girl’s classmate's life is also likely filled with struggle and heartache. She could benefit from new clothes and new friends.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.