5 Cheat Codes That Give You An Unfair Advantage When You Argue, According To Psychology
How to have an argument the right way.
Dean Drobot | Canva When navigating the rough and rugged waters of a relationship, one of the trickiest places to steer your metaphorical love canoe through is conflict. Yes, arguments happen and no, they aren't always pretty.
And, thanks to the differences in the way our brains are wired, men and women handle them differently. Some women want to talk about the problem immediately while some men may want time to cool down and discuss it later. Because of these differences, the wife may be thinking her husband is ignoring her and the husband may be thinking his wife is trying to egg him on.
Here are 5 cheat codes that give you an unfair advantage when you argue, according to psychology:
1. Address the issue head-on
No passive-aggressive Facebook and Twitter updates here, people. Rather, the majority of men and women want to deal with conflict directly — 62 percent and 64 percent respectively, research says. In a world where many turn to social media to complain instead of confronting issues in person, this is incredibly refreshing to hear.
2. Avoid specific phrases
Speaking of refreshing to hear, some phrases definitely shouldn't be let loose when working through a conflict with a partner. For 67 percent of men, that phrase is, "You don't understand"; for 60 percent of women, it's "You need to calm down." Does this mean, "We need to talk" is fair game?
3. Establish rules
Aside from knowing which phrases will trigger a strong reaction, it's also advised to go into an argument with an established set of ground rules — 63 percent of men and 47 percent of women agree. Of course, when to set these ground rules is still up in the air (but mid-fight is likely not an ideal time).
4. Avoid sensitive topics
The trickiest of them all? Money. Women and men say income is the subject that brings about the most conflict within their relationships, according to a study from the American Psychological Association.
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5. Work together toward a resolution
Often the toughest part of dealing with conflict in a relationship is ending it. Men feel they are more willing than women to compromise during a disagreement; however, twice as many women are willing to admit they're wrong.
Kait Smith is an editor, writer, and social media manager, who writes on love and relationships.