Gen Z Woman Posted Online About Being In A 'Dark Place' And Having PTSD Over Not Being Invited To An Engagement Party
We should avoid using serious mental health terms in the wrong context.
Valerii Honcharuk / Canva Pro After one Gen Z woman was unintentionally excluded from her friend’s engagement party, she felt "traumatized" and claimed to have PTSD. She posted these feelings online, offending her friend who found her use of mental health terminology to be insensitive.
The Gen Z woman posted online about having PTSD after not being invited to an engagement party.
Her friend took to Reddit to share how the situation quickly got blown out of proportion. She explained that she is 20 years old and has three close friends from college: Grace, Matt, and Laura.
“Laura really likes using mental health terminology,” she wrote in her post. “She explores a lot of labels from those therapist influencers online. She was told that she has an anxiety disorder and depression, but that's the only diagnosis she's been given so far.”
The woman then revealed that Matt and Grace have been dating for a while, and he recently decided to propose.
“He's been planning the proposal for a couple of weeks and while the proposal was very intimate between the two of them I was very involved in scheduling the after-proposal event at a restaurant,” she explained.
Laura informed them that she did not want to be involved in the planning of the proposal since it "reminded her of her parents’ divorce," but that she would try to make it to the post-engagement party.
“Come the day of the engagement, both Matt and I forget to check in on Laura,” the woman admitted. “I don't think it's Matt's fault at all because he was occupied with far more important things, but I feel a bit guilty about not reminding her. She ended up not coming to the party.”
Truth be told, both Matt and the woman were occupied with the engagement plans and no one is to blame for the mistake, as it was Laura’s personal choice not to be involved.
Laura began making ‘dramatic’ posts online about the trauma she was experiencing over not being included in the party.
“The next day, she starts posting online some dramatic things about how it was traumatizing to see how little her friends cared about her and that she'll be updating her followers on her trauma therapy journey,” the woman wrote. “She posts that she's now in a really dark place, and she thinks she has PTSD.”
Alex Green | Pexels
While no one enjoys being excluded from outings with friends, especially important milestones like an engagement, Laura was out of line to self-diagnose herself with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Not only is this an extreme misrepresentation of the disorder, but it’s insensitive to those who actually struggle with PTSD.
This is exactly why the woman took Laura’s posts so personally.
“I was diagnosed with PTSD by a psychologist in my last year of high school after something that happened in my first,” she revealed. “I've felt a lot of guilt and shame around this because I spent a lot of time feeling that the thing that happened wasn't bad enough to count. I sometimes still get nightmares and flashbacks, but it's gotten better after therapy.”
“I know that I have my own issues … regarding the word, and it bothers me a lot when people seem to throw the terms around without understanding their weight,” she added.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, in order to be diagnosed with PTSD, "a person must have symptoms for longer than 1 month, and the symptoms must be severe enough to interfere with aspects of daily life, such as relationships or work." There is a wide range of symptoms, from nightmares and flashbacks to sleep troubles, negative emotions, and social isolation.
Because of her sensitivity to the subject, the woman snapped at Laura for inappropriately using such terms.
The woman explained that none of her college friends were aware of her past experience surrounding PTSD, Laura included.
“At one point, she called me and started explaining how traumatized she is, and I finally snapped and said, ‘You're not traumatized, stop being dramatic, you just got exactly what you asked for,’” the woman wrote.
She later felt guilty for her emotional reaction towards Laura. While she did poorly communicate her discomfort surrounding Laura’s self-pity and dramatic use of terminology, her feelings were valid.
“I feel like I was a little harsh, and she's posting online (without my name at least) that one friend that she thought she could rely on to support her is abusive and doesn't understand how being traumatized works,” the woman added. “However, I feel like honestly, Laura's being very dramatic about an event that's not about her."
Reddit users agreed Laura was being immature and selfish over a significant moment in her friends’ lives. Rather than being supportive and happy for her friends, she was more focused on how everything affected her.
“I cannot stand people who throw around psychological terminology with actual meanings to describe just their normal feelings,” one person commented on the post. “This person is absolutely creating their own drama and you want no part of it.”
Weaponized therapy speak is a real problem.
In this context, it seems clear that Laura frequently throws mental health terms around to manipulate others into feeling sorry for her, but all this behavior really does is push people away.
While the woman may have mistakenly forgotten to include Laura in their friend group’s engagement plans, as she pointed out, if Laura hadn’t made a point to exclude herself, then perhaps she would have had the chance to be involved.
Because it’s so common among Gen Z specifically, we must be aware of the issue surrounding weaponized therapy speak, which is the act of misrepresenting and weaponizing mental health terminology as a form of manipulation.
We must walk a careful line when it comes to mental health terminology, especially when shared publicly, as we never know what others are really going through.
After finally entering an era where individuals can recognize mental health as a significant matter to discuss, we should choose the way we describe our feelings and experiences wisely to not undermine the seriousness of such disorders and conditions.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.