4 Distinct Traits Only The Most Exceptional Women Embody
Easy ways to transform from an ordinary to a high-value woman.
Svitlana Sokolova / Shutterstock Have you ever admired a super-strong woman who seems to hold her own? You see her chatting comfortably at meetings, an aura of self-assuredness hanging over her head. She’s the one with the freedom, independence, and opportunities that not too long ago, were only a figment of women's imagination.
She knows her worth, stays focused, and pursues her wants with tenacity. Now and then, life deals her a tough blow. But does she lick her wounds forever? Nope. She dusts off and keeps it moving. Everything about her oozes vigor, charisma, grit.
Have you spotted her? Then you’ve officially encountered a high-value woman.
But wait a minute… She’s isn’t smarter, more educated, or talented than you. She’s not even hotter than you! So, what’s in her bag of tricks? Zoom in, and you’ll discover some great traits:
She’s not fake, knows herself, precisely what she wants, and isn’t afraid to pursue it.
The truth? We’re all in possession of those tricks in our bags, some more than others. And if you too want to transform into a high-value woman, the key is to harness your tricks and play the game to perfection.
The Trait To Be Learned From Germany’s Merkel
In 2007, at the Russian President Putin’s home, he and Germany’s Chancellor Merkel were deeply involved in discussions when Putin called his dog into the room. Merkel froze, terrified. It turns out she’d been bitten by a dog before. Putin — well aware of her fear — seemed to relish the moment.
His legs spread wide, he sat back and watched.
Thankfully, Merkel regained her composure and survived the ordeal. Here’s what’s interesting about her, what put her on top: All along, she knew who she was dealing with and was prepared for it. Her interpretation of Putin’s intentions properly encapsulates this:
“‘I understand why he has to do this — to prove he’s a man,’ she told a group of reporters. ‘He’s afraid of his own weakness. Russia has nothing, no successful politics or economy. All they have is this.’”
You see, there will always be people who want to growl, bite, and pick on you and if you’re not resilient, they can quickly chop you down. Any woman who doesn’t know her worth falls prey to this toxicity, which punctures her confidence and leaves her defeated.
A high-value woman (think Merkel) is aware that such people exist and is prepared to meet them. She stays put and continues to champion her course even in the face of opposition. She doesn’t abandon her ideas at the slightest resistance.
Reason? She possesses deep emotional intelligence that allows her to build thick and impenetrable walls against her detractors. The ability to tame her emotions makes it possible to reframe events and remain mentally powerful.
When you develop emotional intelligence you’re not fazed by people who quickly fly off the handle. Like water from the proverbial duck’s back, you can let their anger roll off. You tell yourself, hey, I’m just the girl who gave them a chance to get something out of their system.
Act Confidently To Feel Confident
I’ve studied high-value women for quite a while now, from Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, and Brené Brown. I’ve always spotted a common thread in all of them: Confidence. A self-assuredness that’s inherent and independent of external circumstances.
Here’s the thing, though; a high-value woman isn’t born confident, neither does she feel confident all the time. In the words of motivational writer David Schwartz :
“All confidence is acquired, developed. No one is born with confidence. Those people you know who radiate confidence, who have conquered worry, have acquired their confidence, every bit of it.”
Her secret? She acts confidently to feel confident. On the other end of the spectrum is an average woman who tells herself that she must feel confident before she can show up confidently. It never happens.
Dr. George W. Crane, a renowned psychologist, explains the reason for this in his famous book, Psychology Applied, David Schwartz quotes him:
“Motions are the precursors of emotions. You can’t control the latter but only through your choice of motions or actions.”
Studies further evidence the same.
One can transform their attitudes by changing their physical actions. By going through the proper motions regularly, an ordinary woman can start to feel the corresponding emotions:
It doesn’t have to be complicated at all.
1. Take the front seats.
Many people would rather hide behind others for lack of confidence, not realizing that occupying the front seats is a building block to becoming confident. A high-value woman knows there’s nothing inconspicuous about success.
2. Make eye contact.
Your eyes say a lot about you. When you avoid eye contact, you’re either projecting an inferiority complex or a guilty conscience. But looking one in the eye changes how you see yourself because you communicate the message: I believe in myself and what I’m telling you.
3. Learn to quench your own thirst.
We’re living at a time when social media has brainwashed many people and convinced them that what they see on the screens of their devices is real. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth. People show you what they want you to see, often blotting out layers of dark aspects of their lives.
And while it’s true that social network does boost one’s self-esteem, a high-value woman doesn’t quench her self-esteem thirst from the social media well because she’s self-validating and has a balanced view of herself. She knows how to walk the thin line, which allows her to share her wisdom with the world without oversharing or showcasing her possessions.
4. Walk the walk that speaks volumes about you.
Last month, my pal Sean told me he’d met this incredible woman. In a matter of weeks, their whirlwind romance had lit like a match to a flame. Until… she ghosted him. Poof! Just like that, she vanished. In trying to console Sean, who is still trying to wrap his head around it, I suggested choosing the next woman based on her walk rather than her physical aspects.
Why?
A woman’s walk can reveal deep personality traits. How fast or slow she walks reflects how she feels about herself. Look at an ordinary woman. What do you see? A slovenly posture. My high school teacher was the epitome of a high-value lady. She was a fast walker. In hindsight, I now see it was no coincidence.
Psychologists have linked fast walkers to be highly outgoing and fastidious. Quoting Sage Journals on social psychology and personality science:
“Across most samples and in a meta-analysis, lower neuroticism and higher extraversion, conscientiousness, and openness at baseline were prospectively related to faster gait speed.”
Because a high-value woman is intentional, her walk also says, I’m headed somewhere, I’ve got something important to do, and I intend to succeed in executing it.
Why You Should Transform Into a High-Value Woman
A high-value woman is a game-changer in the 21st century. We can’t have enough of her. She’s the one who’ll climb up the corporate or social ladder of her choosing. Rung by rung, she’ll rise to leave an indelible mark in her slice of the world.
The best news? You, too, can transform into such. Yes, even if you’re a man. Remember, you also have a bag of tricks. It’s time to get them out, harness them, become the person you’ve always admired and watch your life transform. Start now.
Leah Njoki is a writer who has been featured in Medium, Ladders, The Good Men Project, Towards Data Science, and more. Follow her website.