Flight Attendant Shares The 3 Things She Wishes Were Illegal To Do On A Plane
Number 3 should be punishable with a prison sentence!!
Friends Stock | Shutterstock Air travel has become a nightmare for myriad reasons. But as annoying as all the rules and procedures and predatory airline practices may be, what truly ruins the experience is often the way your fellow passengers behave. As such, a flight crew member has a list of things that she'd ban on planes if she had the power, and if you've flown any time recently, they will definitely feel relatable!
A flight attendant shared three things she wishes were illegal on a plane:
I'm all for kindness and community or whatever, but when I am dictator, a lot of the regular characters you see on a plane are going to PRISON. I've had it with the loudness, the playing of video games without headphones, the eating of the things that stink. You are not at home! Who raised you?!
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Now, I am a person who flies two or three times a year at most — so just imagine what it's like for airline employees. Flight attendant and content creator Cher is so fed up with y'all's behavior that she has a whole list of things she wishes the FAA (if it still exists or whatever) would outlaw.
1. Manspreading
"Specifically manspreading when you're in a middle seat," Cher said, which is truly diabolical. Sure, you have the least space of anyone when you sit in the middle, so you should technically have a bit more leeway on your body arrangements. Fine. But manspreading is already unacceptable on its face. Doing it to TWO other people on either side of you? Sir, self-report to prison as soon as the plane lands. We're not doing this.
Cher also noticed in her years of travel that "it's always the shortest ones that are doing it," and as a tall woman, she said, "if I'm taking up just my seat section … then you as a little 5' 6" man can definitely do the same." Fair enough!
2. Fragrances… or any odor at all, for that matter
Listen, fragrance enthusiasts, no judgments (I'm lying, MANY judgments, actually), but why do you people think it's normal and pleasant to douse yourself in perfume or cologne and move through public spaces like Pigpen from Peanuts with a cloud of eau de toilette billowing around you? Walk me through the justification. I'm serious!
It's bad enough in a restaurant or on a sidewalk, but in the tightly enclosed space of a plane? You are a terrorist, and this flight attendant agrees. "Smelling like anything on the plane should be illegal," she said. "I don't care if it's good or bad." And the bad includes BO. Take a shower!
But it goes beyond just mere inconvenience. "It's already an environment where people are prone to getting nauseous," Cher said, "so having an extra fragrance on top of that is just not a good mix." QUIT IT.
3. Bare feet
"There is not a time that is acceptable to have your bare toes out in the cabin," Cher said definitively. "You seriously deserve to go to jail." Tough but fair! This is gross. Like, this is gross! Why are you like this?! Put your feet away!
And for some reason, it is ALWAYS the barefoot people who are ALSO the people who put their bare foot up on the armrest of the seat in front of them so that passenger has to contend with their weird, gross toes inadvertently caressing the back of their arm. You barefoot people are weirdos.
But, of course, it gets so much worse. "If you have your bare toes out when you go to the bathroom — I see this all the time, and it should be against the law," Cher said.
If you are the type who does this, you should be locked in that disgusting bathroom for a minimum of five years and then banished to the darkest reaches of the forest to live out the rest of your days with no footwear. Stop this madness!
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.