Counselor Shares 5 Super Subtle Things Therapists Notice About You During Sessions That Reveal More Than You Think
It turns out there's so much more to a therapy session than just the words you say.
YURII MASLAK / Shutterstock Being a therapist is certainly not for the faint of heart. Sifting through all the often cryptic things patients say is not as simple as it might seem.
But it turns out therapists use far more than just your words to gather insight into who you are and what you're going through and they might even be more revealing than the words you use.
A counselor shared 5 things therapists notice during sessions and what they might reveal about you.
If you've ever been to therapy, you'll know that it can sometimes seem downright mysterious. It often seems like therapists can magically read between the lines of what you say to discover hidden meanings or lessons you never realized were there, but somehow it all makes total sense.
Of course, their extensive training in psychology and the actual workings of the brain obviously helps. (It's not exactly surprising they know more about this stuff than those of us with English degrees or whatever!)
But as licensed therapist and TikToker @therapytothepoint revealed in a recent video, it turns out that mental health professionals are able to glean more context from therapy sessions by taking note of some simple and subtle clues you might not expect to be so meaningful.
1. Therapists notice where and how you sit, including what you do with the throw pillows.
"Therapists are always really interested to see where you sit on the couch and how you arrange the pillows," he said. "It's subtle, but therapists can really find out your level of comfort during the therapy session."
For example, one commenter reported that during sessions she would hold one of her therapist's couch pillows in front of her. "After about a year, my therapist said we are doing exposure therapy and stole my pillow shield lol."
Another described having a "fidget fiber" that stuck out of the couch though not for long. "He cut it off the next session," the person wrote.
2. Therapists notice punctuality, and whether you are early, on time, or late.
"Therapists take note whether you arrive to your sessions on time or whether you're consistently late," he said, and this is because "what tends to happen in the therapy session tends to happen outside of the therapy session as well."
Basically, he said, if you're consistently late for therapy sessions, you're probably similarly not on top of things in other areas of life. Or, as another therapist pointed out in the comments, if you're always early, it could be an indication of anxiety. All of this is helpful context to have when you deal with your troubles.
3. Therapists notice your body language.
The TikToker said therapists "carefully observe" your body language for clues into how you might be feeling. "This means we pay careful attention to whether you cross your arms, cross your legs, you start fidgeting — we notice all of those subtle signs," he said.
Why? For the same reason there are body language experts. "[It] can provide valuable information to access your thoughts and your feelings," he said.
4. Therapists notice your tone of voice.
The tone of your voice offers clues into your mood and current mental state. "We notice when your voice rises," the therapist said, because "this could be an indication that you were emotionally triggered, or it's something really important to you."
On the other hand, if your voice drops, "it can be an indicator that it's something that you're ashamed to share or maybe that you're shutting down."
5. Therapists notice your eye contact.
Eye contact is very revealing. We innately use it to suss out everything from whether someone is attracted to us to whether we're being lied to. And it turns out it's just as, if not more, revealing for therapists.
"The amount of eye contact that you make throughout the session," the therapist said, "can reflect the sense of security that you have in yourself, the relationship or rapport that you have with your therapist, your interest or disinterest in the session, among many other things."
Avoiding eye contact is one of our key defense mechanisms which is obviously revealing within a therapy context and is part of why so many therapists intently engage in eye contact with their patients.
Of course, knowing about all the subtle things therapists notice about you might feel a little unnerving. If that's you, just do what one commenter said they plan to do from now on."I'm going to start standing in the corner during my sessions and waving my hands in the air. See what happens."
There you go! Keep that therapist guessing and make them earn that co-pay!
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice, and human interest topics.