Expat Dad Shares 3 Things People Thinking Of Leaving The Country Forget To Consider Before Moving Abroad
It's easy to get caught in the grass being greener and forget that you're leaving your entire life behind.
Alliance Images | Shutterstock Regardless of your political persuasion, you've likely heard someone in your life say it in recent years: "I want out of America." Maybe you've even said it yourself.
It's become a typical refrain when anything political happens. But it's one thing to think about how much better life could be on other shores. It's a whole other to actually go through with it. And one man who's done it says there are some incredibly hard parts that most people never consider.
The expat dad shared 3 things to consider before moving abroad.
Most of us may have said, "Get me out of this country" at one point or another, but a lot of us appear to be serious about it. Data shows that online searches on how to leave the U.S. have repeatedly surged amid the political turmoil of recent years, and a 2024 poll by Monmouth University found that 34% of Americans said they want out of the U.S. — more than triple the number who said so 50 years ago.
But Sean Daily, a marketing professional, dad, and TikTok employee who moved to the South of France with his wife and children a few months ago, said it's all too easy to overlook just how difficult moving abroad is — and not just because getting a visa can be a nightmare.
Daily laid out three 'hard discussions' you need to have with yourself and your spouse that will save a ton of drama down the road:
It's easy to get wrapped up in the glamour and adventure of living abroad, especially when we see so much of it on our social media feeds. But Daily cautioned those considering a move not to let that keep them from actually dealing with the potential pitfalls head-on.
"There are some things you need to do before you make this move because if you fail to do them, it's going to bite you in the rear end later on," he said.
An extended vacation is one thing — uprooting your whole life and rerouting it overseas is another.
1. How often you're going to go back to visit the U.S., and how it will impact your budget
"You really have to think that one through," Daily said. "You gotta agree and discuss how many times a year [you'll travel home] and look at the cost of that," something many expats don't consider.
This is particularly important if you're emigrating to save money — a key reason many Americans are expatriating nowadays, given our economy. Daily said to look at both travel costs and frequency and weigh them against the savings you're getting overseas, because it can take quite a bite.
2. Being away from loved ones and missing things like holidays is far harder than you think
Daily said this is the hardest part of moving abroad. "Forgetting the financial part of it," Daily said, Americans need to consider "the emotional part of being away from friends and family, being away from home for major holidays, being away from home from the heart tuggers [like] people's birthdays."
These moments, Daily said, are when the "nostalgia" for home kicks in — or homesickness, if you like. "That's what's gonna test you," he said, and "you won't really know until you're there."
He recommended trying to "put yourself in that space" and imagining missing the Fourth of July or grandma's birthday or whatever the case may be. "And then be like, would I be okay with that? How will that make me feel?"
Then, Daily said, discuss it with your spouse or partner and your kids to make sure everyone is on the same page. "If you don't do these things and have these hard discussions," he said, "you're going to hit a brick wall."
3. The difficulty of being away from the kids in your life, whatever their age
"This is a big deal," Daily said, whether it's older kids in college, adult kids on their own, young grandchildren, or nieces and nephews — including those who have yet to be born.
Daily said to have a good, hard think about this and figure out what your boundaries are ahead of time. "If our daughter, for example, was to have a child… all bets are off for me," he said. "I need to go back and be there for that."
And he stressed that for him, he doesn't mean for a visit — he means moving back to the U.S. permanently. "That's a conversation that you need to have" with your partner and family, he urged, to save yourselves strife down the road.
Daily said having these hard discussions before leaving will save everyone pain in the long run.
Daily stressed that thinking and talking about these things is uncomfortable and difficult but necessary. "The fun part of the conversation is dreaming about baguettes and, you know, walking along the beach," he said, "but you need to think through the hard things."
He urged people considering emigrating not to save these hard conversations for later. "It's much worse to face it later when you've already moved your life to another country," he said. "That's going to be more pain and agony, and it could tear apart your marriage."
Daily and his wife have had extensive conversations about this stuff and said they still haven't come to "100% peace" about all of them.
But he's glad they made an effort to get their thoughts out beforehand so that they could make a careful, educated decision and spend their energy in their new country not worrying about what's happening back home but taking on their new adventure.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.