5 Examples Of Emotional Labor That Women Do In Private To Keep Their Relationships Working
These women sacrifice their own well-being for that of their families.
Stock-Asso / Shutterstock Too many women have normalized taking on the emotional labor of their relationships, friendships, and families for the sake of maintaining everyone else’s peace, but it’s costing their own.
Women, and moms specifically, are constantly looking after everyone else but themselves, emphasizing the significance of addressing their collectively dismissed needs.
Rose Hackman, author of "Emotional Labor," is using her platform to raise awareness that emotional labor is the next feminist frontier.
The journalist took to TikTok to share five common examples of emotional labor that women frequently practice in private:
1. They're in charge of everyone’s well-being
From taking on most of their family responsibilities to being at everyone’s beck and call, most women, particularly those who are moms and eldest daughters, constantly feel emotionally responsible for everyone else’s happiness.
When it comes to their partners, kids, parents, and siblings, they feel they have to think and act for everyone — and this takes a huge toll on a person.
She may not be obligated to prioritize everyone’s well-being, but the moment she ever tries to prioritize her own happiness, others are quick to judge and accuse her of being selfish.
Women deserve to be selfish, especially when they are constantly putting others first.
2. They’re mood managers
These women tend to lead with empathy, so they can instantly notice any shifts in their others’ energies.
If they notice someone is feeling down, they’ll do everything they can to lift their spirits. If someone is in a particularly heated state, they’ll help regulate their moods back to a neutral place.
This sense of selflessness is an admirable trait, but it significantly drains someone’s own energy.
3. They have preemptive thoughtfulness
These women are especially thoughtful and attentive. Their preemptive thoughtfulness helps them easily sense and anticipate what someone needs at any moment.
They know how to take the initiative and support others without ever needing to be asked.
They are quick to lend out their healing energy when their loved ones are in need, but when it comes to their own needs, others will rarely sense or pay much attention to her silent cries for help.
4. They prioritize other people’s time above their own
These women tend to sacrifice their own time by taking on more chores, activities, and responsibilities so their partners and kids can decide how they spend their time.
Rather than delegating and enforcing certain tasks to their families, they might sacrifice their own free time to do it themselves. They may see this as a loving gesture, as doing acts of service is a love language.
While this is true, they will likely be disappointed when they hope their loved ones reciprocate these gestures, but their families continue to repeat the same habits.
5. They do the chores no one else wants to do
These women may ask their families to do certain chores over and over again, and if they continue to be ignored, they'll resort to getting the activity done themselves.
While in their minds, they may see it as getting the chore over with so no one has to worry about it, they are only taking on excessive labor and additionally enabling their families to constantly rely on them.
“If you’re vacuuming because you want to save other people from doing it, and you know it has to be done, then you’re also doing emotional labor," Hackman pointed out.
These women are exceptionally valuable and deserve to put themselves first.
Sadly, these women act as martyrs for their families and are additionally underappreciated for the load they take on. They likely feel burned out regularly from the amount of energy they invest into their relationships and are then blamed and criticized for their exhaustion.
Through the rising awareness of this normalized issue, these women are understanding their worth and beginning to take steps toward protecting their energy, enforcing boundaries, and delegating tasks, without feeling guilt for it all.
"Emotional labor relies on the fundamental understanding that women should prioritize other people's experiences before their own," Hackman shared in another video.
If you know a woman like this in your life, be mindful of just how much physical, mental, and emotional labor she is constantly taking on for the betterment of her family. She is only one person. She deserves to hold space for her own needs, and she equally deserves to be treated and looked after with the same care and attention she gives others.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.