3 Emotions A Toxic Job Will Make You Think Are Normal To Feel At Work, According To A Career Coach
While it may just appear as ordinary job stress, toxic workplaces can make you question your values.
Tetianaktv | Shutterstock We are often warned about what a toxic job environment looks like so we are aware of what to avoid. The problem is that sometimes toxicity isn't easy to detect. It can also subtly creep into your workplace, so one day, you're happy at work, and the next, you're grappling with doubt and dreams of quitting.
When we are stuck in toxic workplaces, we may experience a wide range of emotions we cannot quite describe. We may not even realize the detrimental effects they can have on our work productivity and emotional health.
Here are three emotions a toxic job will make you think are normal to feel at work:
Career expert Phillip Holmes took to Instagram to reveal three emotions we can experience at toxic workplaces that we are gaslit into believing are completely normal. These emotions often make us feel stuck and unmotivated at work, and impact both our work and personal lives.
1. Ambivalence
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Ambivalence is the state of having mixed or contradictory feelings about something or someone. When you are at a toxic job, you may convince yourself that it is not all bad since there are a few positive qualities about it and fond memories you’ve built there.
“You feel torn between choices, like whether a colleague is trustworthy or if you can afford to quit,” Holmes shared. When you are in a healthy work environment, you never have to second-guess yourself on these things.
2. Moral distress
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According to Holmes, moral distress is common when you’re forced to compromise your values or you witness unethical behavior at your job.
For example, a marketing professional may be asked to promote a product that they know is misleading or harmful to consumers. They could be forced to advertise a weight-loss supplement as “guaranteed to work” even if there is no research or scientific studies to prove so.
“It’s a mix of guilt, shame and helplessness due to workplace limitations or pressures,” Holmes wrote. Engaging in something that is morally wrong just to meet the job expectations can ultimately lead to workers battling long-term dissatisfaction in their careers.
3. Disillusionment
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This emotion feels like a much-needed reality check. It happens when you suddenly come to terms with the fact that a situation, person, or concept is not as good or perfect as you once thought.
This may happen at your toxic job where you convinced yourself it was not so bad. However, after years of dealing with things like poor management, lack of recognition for your hard work, or unethical practices, it’s like a devastating light bulb has gone off.
“It’s a cocktail of sadness, betrayal, and loss of trust in something that or someone you once believed in,” Holmes explained. “Experiencing these feelings doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It’s your body screaming that something is wrong with your environment.”
Remember, when it comes to a toxic workplace, you're not alone. In fact, a 2024 survey by Monster found that a whopping 67% of workers feel they are stuck in a toxic job. Holmes encouraged those who may be stuck in toxic jobs to honor the emotions they are experiencing and use them to prioritize their well-being. Leaving a toxic work environment is easier said than done. However, recognizing that these emotions may stem from a toxic job is the first step to distancing yourself, and seeking better opportunities.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.