15 Early Clues Someone's Energy Is Pure Poison, According To Psychology
They're showing you their vile, true colors.
Reece Van Der Merwe | Unsplash First the good news: The world is full of honest, kindhearted, well-adjusted people. Now the bad news: There are also plenty of people who are less than emotionally healthy, the kind who manipulate, lie, and cheat — the ones you want to stay far away from.
You can avoid lots of trouble by knowing what to look for in a poisonous person whose energy will slowly sap yours. Before you get pulled into their drama, chaos, or control, here are subtle clues that can help you spot the poison before it spreads.
Here are the early clues someone's energy is pure poison:
1. They talk too much and listen too little
Dominating the conversation often signals insecurity, self-centeredness, or narcissism.
2. They always need to be right
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No matter how big or small the topic, the toxic individual doesn’t allow room for differing opinions and turns a discussion into a debate that must be won.
3. They have constant drama
Some people attract, and maybe need, consistent episodes of crisis, conflict, and clamor. They seem to thrive on having a big personal mess to clean up and feel uncomfortable with a calm routine.
Research suggests constant drama is a red flag, often indicating a person's manipulative tendencies and insecurity. They may seek attention and control or use drama as a coping mechanism for their vulnerabilities.
4. They have a loose relationship with the truth
Even slight variations on what you know to be the truth, or careful omission of facts, is enough to put the person on your watch list.
5. They have compulsive behaviors
If left unaddressed, compulsive behavior involving alcohol, drugs, gambling, and other issues is sure to damage many aspects of the individual’s life — including your relationship.
6. They're desperate for attention
Emotionally healthy people will be eager to get to know you as an individual — not overeager to get into a relationship (any relationship) because of loneliness or neediness.
Desperation can be a red flag in a relationship because it often stems from underlying insecurity and can lead to unhealthy behaviors. A 2020 study explained that when someone is desperate for connection or validation, they might make choices or act in ways ultimately detrimental to themselves and the relationship, signaling potential toxicity.
7. They use cutting humor
Derogatory comments and cutting humor, even if you aren’t the target, signal a lack of empathy or a need to prove superiority.
8. They don't give straight answers
To your direct questions, you get evasive responses, mixed messages, or contradictions. The person is cagey about where he was last night and how things are at work. If it seems like he’s hiding something, he probably is.
9. They have a victim mentality
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All of his/her problems are someone else’s fault — unreasonable boss, unloving parents, lousy roommate, the government. Constant blame-shifting usually demonstrates a lack of personal responsibility.
A victim mentality, characterized by consistently perceiving oneself as unfairly treated and powerless, can be a red flag in toxic relationships. One study found that it often manifests as a lack of responsibility, blame-shifting, and a tendency to dwell on past hurts. These behaviors can contribute to manipulation, emotional distress, and a generally unhealthy dynamic.
10. They treat waitstaff poorly
Rude, insensitive behavior toward restaurant servers, dry cleaners, and store clerks reveals an arrogant attitude.
11. They love to gossip
Rumormongering serves no purpose except to harm others’ reputations and an attempt to burnish one’s own.
12. They bash their exes
Justified or not, no one wants to hear endless complaints about a former partner. There’s nothing healthy about staying stuck in the past. Move on already.
Consistently bashing an ex can be a red flag, indicating potential character issues and a tendency toward manipulation. A 2017 study found that this behavior can be linked to blame-shifting, a lack of accountability, and a desire to project insecurities onto others. It may also reveal a lack of respect and empathy, a warning sign of a toxic relationship.
13. Their stories seem grandiose
Exaggerations about accomplishments, acquaintances, and adventures demonstrate a need to brag, which demonstrates shaky self-esteem.
14. They're controlling
If you feel pressure to act and think according to someone else’s wishes rather than your own, head for the nearest exit.
15. They just feel off
Trust your intuition — it’s usually a reliable guide. Research suggests that your gut instinct, or intuition, can be a powerful indicator of potential danger, including when dealing with someone harmful or manipulative. This is because your intuition draws upon the unconscious processing of information and past experiences, allowing you to rapidly identify patterns and potential threats even before you consciously understand them.
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