What It Means If You Dream About Your Partner Cheating
Dreaming about your partner cheating may be an indicator of underlying issues in your relationship.
Axel Bueckert / Shutterstock Even though many dreams are so outlandish we wake up knowing they're not real, some dreams can feel so real we have to remind ourselves we were dreaming.
For example, if you've ever dreamed of your partner cheating on you, sometimes you can't help but wake up feeling hurt and even suspicious.
What does it mean to dream of your partner cheating on you?
Dreaming of being cheated on doesn't necessarily mean that's what's happening. But it may help to know the possible underlying causes of these types of dreams.
Cheating dreams are actually one of the top most common relationship dreams out there because your subconscious is trying to deal with underlying issues in your relationship that are currently unresolved.
7 Possible Meanings of Dreams About Your Partner Cheating
1. You might be emotionally dissatisfied with your relationship.
The emotions you're feeling in your dream are coming from a real place and are possibly about your connection with your partner.
The dream about cheating might be about your emotional needs not being met, causing you to feel like your partner doesn't care.
The spiritual meaning of dreaming about your spouse cheating is that "your marriage is no longer ideal or the way you dreamed it possible," says Keya Murthy, a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Spiritual Life Coach.
After having a dream about your partner cheating, try to pinpoint what you feel your relationship is missing. Then talk to your partner about how you've been struggling and offer suggestions on how they could help.
Common culprits include feeling guilty, insecure, jealous, bored, anxious, angry, or overwhelmed.
2. You may be worried about being abandoned.
Another potential meaning for your dream about your partner cheating is that you have an underlying fear of abandonment.
If you dream about your significant other leaving you when there are no other signs, then maybe seeking out therapy would be a good idea.
Evaluate yourself and see if the issue stems from the past or if it's a reoccurring fear of yours.
3. You may be sexually dissatisfied.
If you have sex dreams about your partner cheating on you, it could mean you might have some unease about your sexual relationship with your partner.
Sex dreams might mean you aren't being satisfied, or you think you aren't satisfying your partner, because you're imagining your partner having sex with someone else.
Ask yourself how often you and your partner have sex. Are you and your partner enjoying sex? Is there anything new you want to try in bed that you've been too scared to ask about?
4. You may be afraid they might cheat.
This could be a possible if you do have legitimate worries your partner might be cheating on you.
This is even more apparent if you are having frequent cheating dreams as your subconscious is telling you this is a fear of yours.
You might fear your partner will cheat on you and find someone better, or you are insecure about your relationship.
5. You may have some unresolved feelings about past infidelity in this relationship.
If your partner cheated in the past, you may have some dreams about him doing the same to you and you may be scared it might happen again.
It's normal to develop trust issues after you or your partner has cheated. However, if you keep dreaming and fearing it will happen again, that's something you need to work through.
You have to rebuild your trust with this partner so you know you don't have to fear them cheating on you.
6. You may have been cheated on before in other relationships.
If you have been cheated on in the past, you might have fears of it happening again in new relationships.
You might not experience this fear in your current relationship, but your dreams can bring out fears of the past because of their impact on you.
According to Murthy, the explanation for this is, "you are projecting your self-doubts of a healthy relationship on your partner and subconsciously trying to deal with your own doubts, fears, and worthiness of love and maybe stability."
7. You may not trust yourself or your partner.
Dreams are sometimes metaphors for real life, and a dream about your partner cheating may mean you don't trust your partner.
That's because in the dream your partner is betraying your trust by cheating on you. If your partner has caused you to not believe him in the past, this may be why.
This dream could also mean you don't trust yourself or your intuition and you might be abandoning yourself.
Should you tell your partner you're having dreams about them cheating?
First, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I want to continue being in this relationship?
- Can I combat the jealousy I think I'm experiencing?
- Do I like my current sexual relationship or what would need to change so I am content with it?
- Can I learn how to overcome and deal with my guilt or fear?
Evaluate your answers and decide if you should tell your partner or not about the dream.
If you are having big doubts about your significant other's faithfulness, it's best to bring it up to them.
You might sabotage your own relationship if this fear goes on for too long, as you might start believing it and affecting your own behavior.
If this is the case, it's best to let your partner know this has been a reoccurring dream of yours and talk through your fears with them.
"If you have a healthy loving relationship with your husband, you may share your dream and the two of you can have a good laugh," says Murthy. On the other hand, "If you do not have a healthy relationship with your husband only speak to someone who can have you interpret your dream and take action from there."
If you think it's a 'you' problem (for example, this has happened in and affected your past relationships), take the time you need to go to therapy or talk through it with a dream interpreter or some friends and help yourself heal from your own fear.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Dreams Of Them Cheating
First off, tell your partner how you have been feeling and explain if you are noticing an issue with your relationship or within yourself or in your partner, making sure to emphasize you want to work through whatever that is. Then you can tell them about your dream and tell them how it made you feel and what issues it brought up for you.
Share your feelings honestly and gently and actively work on communicating respectfully in your relationship.
If you are willing to address and work through your concerns and willing to compromise, the dreams may stop. If you need extra help, you can work with a mental health professional to help address the dream and explore and work through this issue as a couple.
However, according to coach Ronnie Ryan, you shouldn't let your dreams worry you too much.
"Dreams are not as often prophetic and as they are symbolic," she explains. "When you dream of your spouse cheating on you, you could actually be dreaming that you are cheating yourself somehow. The same thing goes for your spouse leaving you — this could be that you are abandoning yourself in some way. This follows the Jungian theory on dream interpretation — everything in the dream is symbolic of you."
Megan Hatch is a writer who covers news, entertainment, love, relationships, and internet culture.