10 Things You Should Never Share At Work If You're Eyeing A Promotion
Don't be a waste of everyone's time.
Carlos Barquero Perez | Canva By Dr. Travis Bradberry
You can’t build a strong professional network if you don’t open up to your colleagues, but doing so is tricky because revealing the wrong things can have a devastating effect on your career.
Sharing the right aspects of yourself in the right ways is an art form. Disclosures that feel like relationship builders at the moment can wind up as obvious no-nos with hindsight. The trick is to catch yourself before you cross the line because once you share something, there is no going back.
Emotionally intelligent people are adept at reading others, and this shows them what they should and shouldn’t reveal about themselves at work.
Here are 10 things you should never share at work if you're eyeing a promotion:
1. That you hate your job
The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job. Doing so labels you as a negative person, who is not a team player. This brings down the morale of the group.
"Complaining, when overused, keeps you from taking responsibility. We all know people who suffer from bummer-itis — they are living, breathing rain clouds who can find fault in everyone except themselves. These people love to point out problems and mistakes. Sometimes, they will even complain about other people’s complaining," explained life coaches Elaine Taylor-Klaus & Diane Dempster.
Bosses are quick to catch on to naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner.
2. That you think someone is incompetent
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There will always be incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are.
If you don’t have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude. Announcing your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your coworkers’ negative opinions of you.
3. What you do on social media
The last thing your boss wants to see when she logs on to her Facebook account is photos of you taking tequila shots in Tijuana. There are just too many ways you can look inappropriate on Facebook and leave a bad impression. It could be what you’re wearing, who you’re with, what you’re doing, or even your friends’ commentary. These little things can cast a shadow of doubt in your boss’s or colleagues’ minds just when they are about to hand you a big assignment or recommend you for a promotion.
It’s too difficult to try to censure yourself on Facebook for your colleagues. Save yourself the trouble, and don’t friend them there. Let LinkedIn be your professional “social” network, and save Facebook for everybody else.
Personal development coach Hilary DeCesare said, "Let’s face it, these days it seems increasingly easy to say the wrong thing online. One of the reasons is that it’s easier to make the mistake of meeting people where you want them to be, not where they’re actually at. For this reason, be mindful of your online communication.
4. What you do in the bedroom
Whether your intimate life is out of this world or lacking entirely, this information has no place at work. Such comments might get a chuckle from some people, but it makes most uncomfortable and even offended. Crossing this line will instantly give you a bad reputation.
5. What you think someone else does in the bedroom
The people you work with do not want to know what you think about their intimate abilities. There’s no more surefire way to creep someone out than to let them know you think about their love life.
Anything from speculating on a colleague’s sexual orientation to making a relatively indirect comment like, “Oh, to be a newlywed again,” plants a permanent seed in the brains of all who hear it that casts you in a negative light.
Your thoughts are your own. Think whatever you feel is right about people; just keep it to yourself.
6. That you're after somebody else’s job
Dragana Gordic
Announcing your ambitions at work when they are in direct conflict with other people’s interests comes across as selfish and indifferent to those you work with and the company as a whole. An article in Personnel Psychology showed how great employees want the whole team to succeed, not just themselves.
Regardless of your actual motives (some of us just work for the money), announcing your selfish goal will not help you get there.
7. How wild you used to be in college
Your past can say a lot about you. Just because you did something outlandish or stupid 20 years ago doesn’t mean that people will believe you’ve developed impeccable judgment since then.
Some behavior that might qualify as just another day in the typical fraternity (binge drinking, minor theft, drunk driving, abusing people or farm animals, and so on) shows everyone you work with that when push comes to shove, you have poor judgment and don’t know where to draw the line.
Many presidents have been elected despite their past indiscretions, but unless you have a team of handlers and PR types protecting and spinning your image, you should keep your unsavory past to yourself.
8. How intoxicated you like to get
You might think talking about how inebriated you were over the weekend has no effect on how you’re viewed at work. After all, if you’re a good worker, then you’re a good worker, right? Unfortunately not.
Sharing this will not get people to think you’re fun. Instead, they will see you as unpredictable, immature, and lacking in good judgment. Too many people have negative views of drugs and alcohol for you to reveal how much you love to indulge in them.
9. An offensive joke
If there’s one thing we can learn from celebrities, it’s to be careful about what you say and to whom you say it. Offensive jokes make other people feel terrible, and they make you look terrible, as explained by a publication from Bristol University Press. They also happen to be much less funny than clever jokes.
A joke crosses the line anytime you try to gauge its appropriateness based on how close you are to someone. If there is anyone who would be offended by your joke, you are better off not telling it. You never know who people know or what experiences they’ve had in life that can lead your jokes to tread on subjects they take seriously.
10. That you are job hunting
When I was a kid, I told my baseball coach I was quitting in two weeks. For the next two weeks, I found myself riding the bench. It got even worse after those two weeks when I decided to stay, and I became “the kid who doesn’t even want to be here.” I was crushed, but it was my fault; I told him my decision before it was certain.
The same thing happens when you tell people that you’re job hunting. Once you reveal that you’re planning to leave, you suddenly become a waste of everyone’s time. There’s also the chance that your hunt will be unsuccessful, so it’s best to wait until you’ve found a job before you tell anyone. Otherwise, you will end up riding the bench.
Dr. Travis Bradberry is an award-winning author, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world's leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and emotional intelligence training.He has been featured in Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, and more.