13 Cryptic Phrases Women Use That Totally Confuse Men — And What They Really Mean
The puzzling things women tell men, decoded.
Tandem X Visuals | Unsplash Women have a reputation for not saying exactly what’s on our minds, and it’s kind of true. To a point, women kind of have to learn how to do that to keep safe in certain situations or to just fit in.
Even though we try to be subtle about what we say, we often think that it’s obvious what we’re trying to say. Men, however, find certain phrases that women say to be cryptic and confusing — but don't worry guys: here's what women are really trying to say.
Here are cryptic phrases women use that confuse men — and what they really mean:
1. 'Let’s just be friends'
When women say this, they legit would be okay with friendship, assuming that the man isn’t being weird about it. Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen very often, because men usually get sulky after it.
So, most of the time, this means, “Please stop hitting on me, you’re making me uncomfortable and if you’re going to act like this I want to be left alone.”
2. 'I like you, but...'
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Though there is that once-in-a-lifetime case where there’s a legit reason they can’t date you, most women who say this to a man aren’t interested and are trying to let them down gently.
3. 'I need to go now'
If you ever hear a woman say this, it almost certainly means that you’ve made her uncomfortable to the point that she can no longer stand your presence. There are several reasons why women might feel uncomfortable around men, including past experiences, cultural expectations, and societal norms, which can potentially lead to anxieties or misinterpretations of interactions.
A 2018 study concluded that exposure to uncomfortable situations can help people overcome fears and develop coping mechanisms to feel more at ease. Sharing feelings and experiences with others can provide validation and help people feel less alone in their experiences.
4. 'He’s nice...'
When women say this, they’re saying that they’re on the fence about dating a man. Or, they may legit mean that the dude is a nice person to be around as a friend.
5. 'What do you think? Is he cute?'
Women who are talking about men in this manner often are gauging whether or not they should make a move on the man in question. They also might be asking friends to give them the thumbs up.
6. 'I’m not ready to date right now'
This seems to translate pretty evenly across all genders. When someone says this, they’re saying, “I don’t want to date you right now. Sorry.”
According to a 2013 study, a woman's claim that she is not ready to date can stem from various factors, including prioritizing personal growth or goals, needing time for emotional recovery after a past relationship, or simply valuing the freedom and independence of being single. Sometimes, people use this phrasing to avoid causing hurt or being perceived as rejecting someone outright, while not wanting a romantic relationship.
7. 'Your girlfriend is a lucky, lucky woman'
Depending on how it’s said, it could be that she likes the man she’s talking to, or it could be said to remind a man that he’s taken and that she’s not down for being a side chick. If you’re just meeting a woman for the first time and she says this, she’s scoping you out.
8. 'I think I’ll stay in'
Women who say this already have their pajamas picked out, Netflix queue lined up, and popcorn in the microwave. Do not try to beg them to go out and be touched by losers in a dark room.
9. 'I don’t want to take things too fast'
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If a woman has to say this, it means one of two things. Either the man in question is getting too clingy or too physical, too quickly for her comfort. It also could mean that she’s worried you’re psycho and wants to make sure that she’s not proceeding with a nutjob.
A 2010 study concluded that women may prefer gradual, intentional relationship building, value deeper connections, and avoid potentially damaging rushed decisions. Some individuals, including women, may have been hurt in past relationships, leading them to approach new relationships with caution and a preference for taking things slowly to prevent future pain.
10. 'I’m fine'
Some women are legitimately okay and happy, and you can tell this by their relaxed demeanor and happy appearance. If you notice she’s not smiling and cheerful, she’s not fine. She doesn’t want to talk to you about what’s bothering her, or she has already told you what’s upsetting her and you didn’t listen the first time around.
11. 'It doesn’t matter'
If she’s saying this with a smile or appears relaxed, she probably legitimately means it doesn’t matter. If she’s saying this while upset, then yes, whatever it is matters and you royally messed up.
12. 'Let’s keep things casual'
Surprise! Some women legitimately want to keep things casual with men, and this is often the case when a woman feels like he’s attractive, but that he’s not a good match for her on an emotional level. So, when translated, it means, “Look, you’re hot enough that I want to hook up with you, but you’re not what I’d want in a boyfriend.”
Like men, women approach casual relationships with various motivations. Sometimes, they are a way to explore or protect themselves from potential emotional hurts. A 2022 study explained that some women might view casual relationships as a good way to experience physical intimacy without commitment or use them to build emotional intimacy and connection with others.
13. 'I have a boyfriend'
This can mean one of two things. Either she legitimately has a boyfriend or she’s trying to let you down gently with an excuse. In either situation, though, the request is the same: she’s asking you to leave her alone.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.