Childless Woman Wants Moms To Know That Their Kids Are Not Invited — ‘We Said Yes, But We Really Mean No’

She wants alone time with her friends, but life changes and she may not get as much as she used to.

Written on Jul 18, 2024

woman, mom, daughter Impact Photography / Shutterstock
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A childless woman issued a PSA to all of her friends who have children when it comes to making summer plans.

According to a woman named Suzanne, friends with kids should never “just assume” that their children are also invited when their friends ask them to hang out.

However, many mothers — and even other childless women — begged to differ.

The childless woman wants all of her friends with children to know that their kids are not welcome when she invites them out with her.

In a since-deleted post, Suzanne shared her PSA for her mom friends on TikTok. “I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your kids are not invited,” Suzanne said.

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mom, hanging out Maxim Krivonos / Shutterstock

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To clarify, she meant that if your childless friend invites you to hang out, they most likely do not want you to bring your kids along too. “Just because you have kids does not mean that you have an automatic plus one to bring them everywhere,” Suzanne said. 

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“Sometimes your friends just want to hang out with you and spend quality time with you.”

She encouraged mothers to ask their friend's permission to bring their kids along if they invite them out somewhere or ask to hang out with them.

“Be respectful,” Suzanne said, adding that even if your childless friends grant you the okay to bring your kids, they likely do not want that. “Deep down inside, we say yes, but we really mean no.” 

And with that last statement, Suzanne brought down the wrath of the internet.

Most of the moms agreed that the issue was Suzanna telling her friends it was okay to bring their kids when she really didn't mean it — not that she wanted to spend alone time with her friends.

If your friends ask if their kids are invited you should tell them the truth, otherwise you risk hurting the friendship.

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@insufferableyinzer #stitch with @Suzanne such an unreasonable ask of your friends to just believe the words you tell them. #momtok #momsoftiktok #mom #momlife #momlifebelike ♬ original sound - suzanneb1022

Some of them responded with their own TikTok videos calling the woman out for her ludicrous statements.

Moms claimed that their children are often part of the package when their friends want to hang out with them.

“Why are you such a miserable person? Just from this video, you radiate such bad energy,” TikTok user Kay said in a stitch to Suzanne.

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“I hope this friend never accepts another invite from you again.” 

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Other moms noted that as much as they would love to hang out with their friends one-on-one and ditch the kids, they don't always have that luxury.

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“Imagine how weird and entitled that is as someone who doesn’t even have responsibility over the children anyway to be the one that is bothered by them being there,” user and mom Kylie chimed in.

She also pointed out that as a mom with young children, sometimes, if you want to meet up with a friend, you have no choice but to take the kids. 

@counterculturemommy This mindset is so yucky. PSA your kids are not invited. Thats a quick way to end a friendship. #momsoftiktok #momtok #momlife ♬ original sound - counterculturemommy

You may not have a sitter, the other parent may be unavailable, or maybe you simply want to bring the kids along with you.

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It will be better for the mom, the kids, and even the childless friend to get out of the house and hang out altogether.

Other childless women took to Suzanne’s comment section to disagree with her take, sharing that they would be more than happy to have their friend’s kids tag along.

“Nope. If I invite a friend somewhere, I automatically assume that their kids are coming, period. Bring your kids. I got snacks,” one TikTok user commented.

“I’m a single, childless person, and if I invite my friends somewhere, I assume their kids are coming. Their kids are part of the package,” another user wrote.

“I’m the village, I guess because my friends' kids will know that I’m ALWAYS their safe place, too,” another user shared. 

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As much as we would all love to have that one-on-one girl time we used to have with our friends when we were in high school or college, life changes. 

Our hangout sessions may not look the same. Instead of grabbing a drink at the bar and filling each other in on the latest work gossip, we are now attempting to wrangle our kids out of the pool to sit down for chicken nuggets while barely getting a word in edgewise.

However, even if life changes and our friends have children, let them know that they are always welcome to the party.

Life is about adapting. To maintain friends, you need to grow together. That means moms with kids and women without kids need to respect each other.

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Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.