The Brutal Truth About Why Men Think It's Okay To Lie To Women
Why does the person you love lie so much to you?
AYDO8/ Shutterstock No one knows why human beings have the ability to lie, and even though Ricky Gervais did his best with that rather bad movie about lying, it's unlikely that we will ever know why lying, a human concept, is so much a part of human DNA.
Lying is damaging to your relationships, especially to your romantic ones. If you lie to your partner and they catch you in that lie (or even if they just get suspicious that you might be lying) it damages trust. When trust goes in a relationship, it's like someone setting off a bomb in your basement: Everything goes when the foundation gets blown to smithereens.
It's hard enough to answer the question of why we tell lies, and it's almost impossible to figure out why men lie, especially the men in our lives who we love dearly. These men have a huge place in our lives and hearts. We've made them the center of our worlds, why on Earth do men lie when we've given them our hearts to take care of?
I decided to ask a group of anonymous men why they have lied to their girlfriends and what they had to say what equal parts heartbreaking, enraging, and kind of... illuminating.
Okay, dudes, let's get real: why do you think it's okay to lie to your girlfriends?
Here is the brutal truth about why guys think it's okay to lie to women:
1. Women do it too
"Women lie all the time, so why shouldn't men lie? I mean, wearing makeup, that's a lie right there."
2. She doesn't need to know the truth
“I don't need to tell the truth to my girl when she asks why I can't answer the phone. I'm taking a massive dump. That's why.”
3. It just happens sometimes
“I hardly ever lie, but I know some men who lie all the time. Then every once in a while I'll catch myself lying about some stupid inconsequential nonsense, and I'll be like, ‘I have no idea why I just said that.’”
4. It's just about the small things
“Quite often I'll have a legitimate excuse to not be able to attend plans with a girl and I'll brainstorm, ‘How can I get out of this one and make it believable?’ And then sometimes I realize I can just tell the truth. No idea why I lie so much, but it's usually about small things so I can stay home alone from everyone.”
5. It helps to avoid a fight
"I try not to, but when it happens it's usually because I'm trying to avoid getting into a fight."
6. It's a catch-22
"It's such a catch-22. I lie to keep her from getting mad, then she finds out and gets mad anyway."
7. It depends on the kind of lie
"There are two kinds of lies in a relationship. There are the ones that are okay to tell (you don't look fat, etc) and then there are the one's that just aren't ('I did not have sex with someone' when you did.) One is actually saving the relationship, the other is destroying it."
8. It helped end a relationship
"In my last relationship prior to my fiance, I lied all the time. I think I was trying to blow up the relationship, to have it end without being the one who really pulled the trigger and said, 'Hey it's over.'"
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9. She lied first
"Because she lied to me from the start."
10. It stops her from crying
"I hate it when my {{ girlfriend }} cries. I only lie to her EVER to keep her from crying."
11. It's just easier
"Telling the truth might be the right thing to do, but lying is so much easier."
12. It gets her attention
"If I'm being totally honest, sometimes I lie to her just to get her attention. Sometimes when you're with someone for a long time, you can feel overlooked. If I do something bad or whatever and lie about it and she finds out, like it or not, I'm the center of her attention again."
Rebecca Jane Stokes is an editor, freelance writer, former Senior Staff Writer for YourTango, and the former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek. Her bylines have appeared in Fatherly, Gizmodo, Yahoo Life, Jezebel, Apartment Therapy, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, SheKnows, and many others.