12 Brilliant Mind Tricks To Use On People When You Want To Feel More Powerful
Feeling more powerful comes with tremendous benefits that don't have to harm anyone else.
Whether we like to admit it or not, power dynamics inform every aspect of our lives, from our professional relationships to our intimate connections and our ability to prioritize our own personal time, boundaries, and well-being. From using conversational tactics to investing in your personal appearance, there are brilliant mind tricks you can use on people when you want to feel more powerful.
Research shows that feeling powerful makes people "better at focusing on relevant information, integrating disparate pieces of knowledge, and identifying hidden patterns than people who are powerless." It also improves concentration, planning, inhibition of unhelpful impulses and flexibility when adapting to change. Of course, being self-aware, intentional, and empathetic is important, but sometimes, we could all use the extra confidence a little burst of a powerful feeling offers.
Here are 12 brilliant mind tricks to use on people when you want to feel more powerful
1. Laugh in response to accusatory language
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When you’re faced with unnecessary judgment or misguided accusations, being able to leverage your own laughter as a response can be a healthy coping mechanism for undermining another person’s confident ignorance.
While it can transform into a dismissive and invalidating response to valid or constructive criticism, being able to remove yourself from unhealthy settings and situations where your competency is being undermined or mistakenly challenged can be healthy when you want to feel more powerful and secure. According to investigative experts from Reid, laughter and humor can be a manifestation of anxiety or a behavior intended to relieve stress when used carefully, rather than an automatic admission of guilt.
So, use this mind trick sparingly, in response to untrue accusations you’re not planning on taking accountability for, to ensure that you’re coming across as subtly confident and in control, rather than defensive and anxious.
2. Lower your voice when sharing secrets
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A study from the Evolution and Human Behavior journal suggests that many men try to lower their voice to signal dominance, but the competency, prestige, and admiration associated with lower pitched tones is applicable to all genders and people.
By lowering your voice when you’re speaking with someone in intimate or emotional settings, you can ensure the person you’re speaking with feels more bonded and connected with you.
In more stressful situations, like resolving conflict or mediating an argument at work, communications expert Nick Morgan argues that lowering your voice and speaking “calmly” can help other people to feel more comfortable in your presence — evoking a sense of trust that automatically offers you power and control in leading a conversation.
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3. Respond with ‘interesting’ when someone criticizes you
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Most people who are overly critical of others are operating from a place of inherent insecurity, projecting their own fears and anxieties onto others to share the burden of their uncomfortable emotions.
When you respond with “interesting” when faced with unnecessary judgment or criticism, you take power away from critical people intending to break you down, throwing off their train of thought and urging them towards introspection rather than projection.
By changing the subject with a phrase as simple as this, you can leverage the brilliant mind tricks to use on people when you want to feel more powerful, dismissing their critique as invalid and inconsequential to your own emotional wellbeing.
4. Apologize for something small before addressing larger issues
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Before you acknowledge larger issues or accusations, especially in relationships at work or in your personal life, find ways to demonstrate trust, connection, and your ability to take accountability in a healthy way.
By reminding people that you’re willing to set your ego or perceived power aside for the sake of others, you encourage them to approach larger situations with more grace.
Clearly state what you’re apologizing for, craft a better path forward, and acknowledge larger issues from a calm, approachable, and secure perspective. You will not only build trust in your relationships, but remind people why they should feel comfortable, secure, and confident in you — all of which will make you feel more powerful.
5. Speak more slowly
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Leadership communication expert Michael Kelly argues that slowing down your speech in conversations can convey a sense of power and confidence to others that’s not always embodied in a faster, more chaotic conversationalist approach.
Not only are we intentionally carving out “social space” for our thoughts and opinions when we do this, but we also give other people a better opportunity to hear and understand our message, leading to increased trust and a deeper connection.
6. Don’t be afraid to break eye contact
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While making and maintaining eye contact plays a large role in helping us to build trust and connection in conversations, the tendency for someone to break it also plays a role in asserting their power and status.
When we choose to break eye contact by choice, we subconsciously assert our power over conversations, while the person who is forced to break eye contact feels less in control.
Breaking eye contact to help us feel more powerful in conversations doesn’t need to be anything less than a subtle glance away from your partner or peer, breaking up the stagnancy of a conversation and asserting your healthy dominance over the interaction.
7. Smile randomly while talking
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Smiling while speaking to others can help ensure you seem more approachable, kind, and competent to people, even in high stress situations at work or during a vulnerable conversation with your kids.
A study published in Plos One found that smiles serve as “social tokens” in conversation, boosting other people’s perception of you and encouraging them to respond in equally polite, graceful, and empathetic ways.
By leveraging the art of smiling, even at random times in conversation, we remind the people around us that we’re trustworthy and kind — even when the messaging we’re sharing isn’t necessarily empowering or exciting.
8. Ask questions twice
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By asking thoughtful questions twice in conversation, we ensure the person we’re speaking to feels heard and understood, even if we’re just checking in with them during a passive interaction. When we offer up genuine interest in others, urging them to indulge in deeper conversations, we start to build trust that’s incredibly important for leaders to cultivate as they build power and dominance over situations.
9. Mirror other people’s body language
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Finding a healthy balance and understanding in conversation starts with the art of “mirroring” — where people mimic their partner’s linguistic tendencies or body language to help them feel heard and understood.
When people feel comfortable in conversations with you, they’re more likely to trust you, opening an opportunity for you to grasp onto power and a healthy level of control in your conversations.
By repeating similar questions, mimicking their body language, and adopting conversational styles similar to that of the person they're speaking with, the most powerful people understand this is the best way to communicate with others to get what they want, even if it looks different every time they start a new conversation or connection.
10. Ask for a small favor before a larger commitment
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Consistency and familiarity are two things that help to encourage people to feel more comfortable, especially in conversations and new connections. When we ask someone a favor, typically a smaller, more mundane task, before bringing up a larger commitment, we ensure they feel comfortable in the familiarity of our request.
From brand advertising to interpersonal conversations, a study published in the Journal of Consumer Research explains that establishing a level of comfort, trust, and familiarity with another person ensures that they view you as a stable, competent, and powerful person that they can trust.
11. Leave out pieces of information from your conversations
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Encouraging people towards curiosity and engagement in conversations by leaving out certain pieces of information from your arguments, it’s possible to assert your trust and a healthy balance of power.
That said, this is one to be careful with, as clinical psychologist Randi Gunther also suggests that withholding information from conversations can be a deliberate way to invalidate and erode trust.
While trust isn’t necessarily a fundamental part of a toxic power dynamic — in fact, it’s often the opposite — being able to leverage your power while still connecting with others is important to maintaining healthy relationships and stable emotional wellbeing.
12. Tell a great story
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Before asking for a favor or asserting your perceived power in the workplace, consider the power telling a story has on your audience. Even if it’s a glimmer of vulnerability or quick story to help communicate shared experiences, being able to master the art of storytelling can actually make you seem more persuasive, according to experts from Stanford University.
We feel more bonded to people when we’re able to honestly communicate and connect with them, and oftentimes that sense of trust comes from our ability to communicate, share stories, and find common ground.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.