Bride & Groom Send Text Invite To A Black-Tie Reception But Recommend People Get Dinner Somewhere Else First — ‘We Also Humbly Request Cash / Credit For Our Gift’
Many wedding guests were offended by the bride and groom's unconventional affair.
Ground Picture / Shutterstock.com After a wedding guest took to Reddit to post a text message invitation their friend received from a soon-to-be-married couple, commenters sparked a debate over “the right way” to plan a wedding reception.
The bride and groom were planning a “black-tie” affair that included several requests for guests. “A few things to know,” the couple wrote in all caps. “Respectfully, this is an adults-only reception… and we humbly request cash/card for our gift.”
A bride and groom sent a text to their wedding guests, recommending people get dinner before arriving at their reception.
Not only did the text urge guests to forego physical gifts for cash, as the couple had already “settled into their beautiful home,” but they also reminded attendees to dress in “black-tie” attire and get dinner before they arrived.
Unsurprisingly sparking outrage amongst their friends and family, the couple doubled down on their unconventional reception choices. They framed their lack of dinner as “the perfect opportunity to do an elegant evening dinner in our beautiful downtown with endless options before attending the reception!"
“With all of this said,” they added, “‘We Do’ hope you can attend our special evening with us and help build monumental memories on our first night as Mr. and Mrs.”
Offering an open bar and light snacks, the reception was purely to celebrate and not to feed their guests.
“We will be providing light snacks only,” the wedding invite text clarified.
If commenters reacted harshly, then wedding guests were undoubtedly frustrated. They were instructed to wear “sharp black suits” for men and “elegant black evening gowns” for women and also needed to front the cost of an “elegant” dinner before attending. Unless, of course, they chose to hit McDonald’s or Taco Bell in their freshly pressed suits and dresses.
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Commenters pointed out what one can only guess the guests were thinking. “They don’t understand that black tie events are an experience,” one person wrote, “not just an excuse to look nice. There is luxury at a black-tie event… Folks should be able to dress casual for this mess.”
Others were more open-minded about the unconventional nuptials. “This isn’t about anyone but the bride and groom. If they want to call it a ‘black-tie’ wedding, skip dinner, and focus on dancing with friends — let them have this.”
Perhaps the biggest affront to critics was requesting ‘cash/credit’ for gifts.
In 2024, the average cost of a wedding is nearly $40K and that's a conservative estimate. For couples planning a more extravagant affair, like a black-tie evening event, the sky's the limit.
It’s no wonder this couple requested money for their wedding gifts. Perhaps their request would have been easier to swallow had they chosen a simpler affair or, better yet, a smaller affair with an actual dinner included. But at the end of the day, it is their wedding, and they get to have the party they envision.
Weddings should be about the couple. The reception should be a party that both represents and celebrates their new commitment to each other. It's impossible to please every guest, although etiquette would dictate you at least try.
Whether it’s no dinner at the wedding reception, a ceremony outside on a hot day, or requesting money for wedding gifts, the bride and groom ultimately make that decision. If you don’t like it, you always have the choice to RSVP no.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.