Bride Asks If She’s Wrong For Demanding Her Wedding Photos From Photographer Grieving The Loss Of His Mom — ‘I Do Feel Entitled To What I Paid For’
"I understand that against the loss of a parent my desire for photographs seems trivial, but it's been three months. "
Evgenyrychko | Shutterstock After a bride was promised her wedding photos by a certain date, she learned that they would be delayed by at least a month. According to her wedding photographer, his mother had passed away, and he would be taking some time off work to mourn the loss.
While the bride said she empathizes with what the photographer is going through, she cannot help but feel worried that she may never receive the photos that were captured on her special day.
A bride couldn't help but wonder if she was in the wrong for insisting on her wedding photos from her photographer, who recently lost his mother.
Sharing her dilemma on Reddit, the woman said she decided to hire a highly recommended photographer a year in advance to capture the memories of her special day.
Evgenyrychko | Shutterstock
“He has great reviews, and I really like his work,” she wrote. After a positive experience during their engagement photoshoot, the photographer informed the woman and her now-husband that his assistant would be photographing their wedding day.
“The wedding day came, his assistant was a doll and we loved him,” she reported. “I paid the full price for everything, and right on time. At no time were we difficult clients, but totally the opposite.”
As per their contract, the photographer promised the newlyweds that they would receive rough edits of their photos between 30 and 90 days after the event.
“It states not to expect anything in less than 30 days, but it could take as long as 90 days. Verbally, he told me that turnaround was typically 8 weeks,” the woman wrote.
However, after 8 weeks had passed, the woman had yet to receive a single photo from the day. She decided to reach out to her photographer to get a better idea of when the photos would be ready. “He referenced the 90 days and said he was running on time,” she wrote. “I was disappointed, but the contract does say 90 days on the outside, so I let it go.”
85 days after the wedding, the woman reached out to the photographer to ensure that the pictures would be ready on time.
“He replied to say that his mom had passed two days before, and he'd be taking the rest of the month off and would resume working after the first of the year,” she shared.
While the woman expressed her condolences to the photographer, she could not help but worry that she may never receive the photos she had already paid for. “I replied with support but also indicated that I was concerned that we weren't going to abide by the contract and that I'd expected to have the photos before the holidays so I could gift albums to my parents and new in-laws,” she wrote.
The photographer pointed out that the contract specifically outlined an “Act of God clause” that would allow him more time to prepare the photos. However, the woman noted that the clause was being misinterpreted by the photographer.
“The contract does mention acts of God, but specifically with regards to if there is an emergency and the photographer can't make it to your wedding. It details how he'd attempt to find a replacement photog, etc.,” she revealed.
In contractual terms, an act of God does not include family death but is instead limited to "uncontrollable" events such as natural disasters.
The woman sent her condolences to the photographer on the passing of his mother but also expressed her concern that she may never receive her wedding day photos.
He wasn’t exactly pleased with her response. “He replied with just, ‘Wow,’” the woman shared.
“I understand that against the loss of a parent, my desire for photographs seems trivial, but it's been three months. I paid a lot of money for the pictures, and I really want them back,” the woman confessed.
“It is so delicate, and I honestly feel bad for him, and really empathize with his loss... but I do feel entitled to what I paid for and contractually agreed to.”
The woman also thought it was strange that the photographer did not inform her that he would be taking time off since his mother passed, especially when it was five days before the photo deadline.
Had she not reached out when she did, he may have never filled her in on what was going on.
“It seems unprofessional, and at the very least, like he should have offered a partial refund for not making the deadline,” she wrote. “I would have refused that offer if he'd extended it, but would have appreciated the gesture of good faith.”
At this point, all the woman wants are her photos.
“I want to know for sure something didn't happen to them, and the record of our beautiful day isn't lost,” she wrote.
Commenters assured the newlywed that she had a right to be frustrated and concerned.
“When someone has paid money for services and goods that are guaranteed by a contract, the services and goods are due by the deadline defined in the contract,” one Redditor commented. “All the guy had to say was that he was sorry, the photos were fine and he would complete the job later than promised. I’m sure OP [Original Poster] wouldn’t have loved it, but they would have at least known the wedding photos still exist.”
“The photographer had 80 DAYS before his mom suddenly died to get the work done. If she was slowly dying for those 80 days then it isn’t an ‘act of God’ for her to pass in a normal manner… This is exactly why you shouldn’t wait to do work till the last minute,” another user wrote.
cunaplus | Shutterstock
Others argued that the photographer had a responsibility to keep the lines of communication open despite what was happening in his personal life.
“As a photographer who also happens to have a mom who has passed away rather suddenly, clear communication with your clients is the bare minimum promise you should keep regardless of any personal issues,” one Redditor shared. “If this was sudden, he should still have had SOMETHING done five days prior to the due date and if this was a chronic illness then he knew that this was a possibility and the client should have been made aware.”
“Professional photographer and former full-time wedding photographer here. I worked in a fancy wedding studio in NYC and we shot like 150 weddings a year between 5 photographers so I feel like I’ve seen it all, but this is really concerning. Breaking the contract under any circumstance is not okay for a professional in our field,” another wrote.
However, some people believed that the woman could have cut the photographer some slack, given his situation.
“Do you really think it's humanly kind to expect the photographer to creatively work on your happiest day with your new family as they mourn their dead mother? At least you have your family at Christmas. You're legally probably right, but morally I think wrong,” one user commented.
“You clearly say he has great reviews, so presumably he's not a shady person where you would have any real reason to worry about your pictures getting done at all… He got so unlucky and his mother died,” another wrote.
While every employee deserves to take some bereavement leave after the loss of a loved one, it is important to keep clients in the loop.
As long as you keep communication open and assure them that their awaited projects will get done, most of them will be more than understanding of your situation.
All the man had to do was let the bride know that he was working on her photos and they would be available for viewing when he returned from his leave.
He has the right to mourn his mother, and the woman has the right to want the documentation of her wedding that he promised to provide.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.