Bride Criticized After Placing Wedding Guests In 'Tiers' And Sending The Bottom-Tier Guests Last Minute Invitations — 'We Were The Back-Up Seat Fillers'
Would you be offended to receive an invite just days before a wedding?
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock There's a lot to consider when planning a wedding, from the dress code and venue to the music and, most importantly, the guest list. After all, without any guests there's no reception!
Weddings are expensive, with each guest costing an average of $304 in 2023. It can be challenging to decide who makes the cut; however, the “tiered guest list” system one couple implemented ended up tarnishing more than just their big day, but entire friendships.
The bride was criticized for placing wedding guests in 'tiers' and sending the bottom-tier guests last-minute invitations.
"The bride has always been a pretty self-serving person, but she's very charismatic and that glamour hides the narcissism incredibly well," the Redditor described. "The groom just goes along with whatever the bride says."
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While out to brunch with a group of friends, including the engaged couple, it became apparent that their wedding invitations had already been sent out, and not everyone had received one.
"It was pretty clear from there that my husband and I weren't on the guest list, but we were perfectly fine with that," she wrote. "You do you, bride and groom."
However, just a few weeks before the wedding, she received a last-minute invitation, an obvious attempt to fill a seat.
"The wedding was a 1.5-hour drive away, and I had just moved into my second trimester, so we RSVPed no," she recounted. "The message we got back from the bride was ... Not polite. But whatever."
Then, just three days before the wedding, another friend from the group received an invitation — with the bride pleading for a positive RSVP and requesting a gift equivalent to $300. They too RSVP'd no.
Tiered guest lists aren't uncommon, but nobody wants to feel like a last-minute addition.
Creating a guest list with “tiers” is actually a wedding planning tactic that experts suggest couples use to save money and ensure every seat is filled.
One wedding venue recommends creating three tiers, the first being "people you absolutely must have at the wedding," like your best friends, family, and wedding party.
The second tier is for "people you'd like to have but who you can live without" and tier three includes "people you're inviting out of duty: college buddies, people who invited you to their wedding, or parents' friends."
It seems like this Redditor fell into their friends' third tier, admitting they don't see each other often but "catch up from time to time."
Still, there is a tasteful way to utilize this system in which guests do not know what tier they are on — or that there were tiers at all.
“[The invite] was worded in a way that made it sound like everyone was getting a late invitation,” she added, “but we knew we were the backup seat fillers"
It was ultimately the bride and groom's distasteful and rude responses to RSVPs that left a bad taste in their friends’ mouths.
“The response to me and my husband was something along the lines of, ‘I attended your wedding and gave you a nice gift, but now you're ditching me because you don’t want to drive 1.5 hours? You are so selfish,’” this Redditor admitted. “Our friend with the last-minute invite received [worse] after RSVPing no.”
A year later, the bride was resentful and angry that her friends didn't attend her wedding.
As if this bride couldn’t get any more controversial and bitter, the friend group’s next reunion — held in 2020 over Zoom — spotlighted her self-centeredness again, when she set her wedding dance as her background.
"When nobody mentioned it after maybe 15 minutes of chatting, she stopped everyone from talking, called out the people who hadn't attended her wedding, and said, 'I have had my first dance as my background this whole time and none of you have commented on it. You didn't come to my wedding and I spent a lot of time practicing, so the least you can do is watch it!'" the Redditor recounted.
"We don't talk to that couple anymore," she concluded.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories