Bride-To-Be Wonders If She's Wrong For Confronting Her Friend About Texting Her Fiancé 'Condescending Updates' During Her Bachelorette Weekend
Her friends think her reaction was a step too far.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock A bachelorette party is intended for a bride to celebrate her upcoming nuptials with her closest friends.
One bride-to-be was doing just that — drinking and having fun with her bridesmaids in Austin, Texas. However, when she got home, she was shocked to learn that one of her friends had been secretly texting her fiancé the entire time.
A bride-to-be learned that her friend was privately texting her fiancé about her behavior during her bachelorette weekend.
"This past weekend was my bachelorette party," the 23-year-old bride-to-be wrote in a Reddit post. "A few of my friends and I went to Austin and went out on Saturday and got a pontoon boat on Sunday."
She added that both celebrations included drinking and she got a bit tipsy, as is essentially expected for a bachelorette party.
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When the group got back to the hotel Saturday night, the bride-to-be called her fiancé to check in and flirt a bit.
“It is important to note that I do have the habit of calling my fiancé when I drink,” the Redditor admitted. “However, I do not consider this a bad thing because it is not like I am calling some ex-boyfriend or anything crazy.”
After talking to her fiancé, the woman called her brother to ask him a question. By all accounts, everything seemed perfectly normal.
On Sunday, the bride-to-be got into a disagreement with one of her friends.
After the pontoon boat, the woman called her fiancé to let him know they were leaving. She was joking around with him when one of her friends, who is closer to her fiancé than the others, took her phone and turned it off.
"I thought it was a joke and told her to give it back to me and she refused," the woman recounted.
"At this point, I got pretty pissed and told her very sternly to 'give me my [expletive] phone back' and took my phone back and got out of the car to cool down a bit."
When the woman got home, her fiancé showed her the texts he had received from the friend throughout the weekend.
“Back at the hotel and she is already drunk calling her brother. Otherwise, all is good,” the friend texted the fiancé on Saturday, despite watching the bride-to-be call her fiancé and knowing he has her location.
"After she took my phone away the second day, she texted him 'I’ve shut her phone off and put it in my bag while she’s still a little drunk. I’ll give it back to her in like 30 minutes when she’s not as drunk," the bride-to-be continued.
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Reading the messages her friend sent her fiancé behind her back made her understandably upset — they were condescending and completely unnecessary. She immediately sent the woman a message confronting her about the matter.
"I texted her 'Hey [fiance] showed me the texts you sent him last night and today and don't you ever talk like that about me again. He doesn't need your condescending little updates,'" she recounted.
The friend hasn’t replied, and the bride-to-be admitted that her other friends felt her reaction was a bit dramatic. She asked Reddit users for advice, questioning if she took her response too far.
Redditors insisted the woman may not be a true friend and advised the bride-to-be to keep an eye on her.
While there’s a chance the friend didn’t intend to cross any boundaries — the bride's friends think the messages were “condescending to a degree there’s also a chance she didn’t mean it like that” — her actions are definitely questionable. There was no reason for her to send updates to the bride-to-be’s fiancé exaggerating her seemingly normal behavior.
Reddit users agreed the friend’s messages were in poor taste, and it wasn’t her place to reach out to the fiancé directly unless there was an emergency. They expressed confusion over what her true intentions were.
“Are you sure this ‘friend’ isn’t trying to sabotage your relationship? Because it sure sounds like it,” one user questioned.
“She was looking for you to do something truly stupid that she could report to your fiancé,” another Redditor theorized. “She was making your small actions look worse by her reactions. The thing I'd be questioning is WHY? Is she into him?”
“This is not your friend. She’s casting you in a bad light on purpose,” a third commenter wrote. “Keep her at arm's length and keep an eye on her. She is not rooting for you guys as a couple!”
It seems that the friend was hoping to stir the pot and create drama, and it's difficult to find any pure motivation behind that.
There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting to talk to her fiancé after having a few drinks during her bachelorette party. If anything, this behavior highlights her love and excitement for marriage — as does his honesty about the messages.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.