The 6 Biggest Differences Between Male And Female Gold Diggers
Nowadays, gold-digging is not just a woman’s game.
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock Have you noticed the uptick in talking about gold digging lately?
For ages, men have accused women of being gold diggers. Nowadays, it’s not just a "woman’s game."
Men are increasingly dating women for what they have in their wallets, rather than what’s going on in their hearts.
I can't help but notice it happening. I mean, my best friend just married a female gold digger. My other bestie was just used by a boyfriend for a place to stay … until he caught the eye of a lonely businesswoman with a bigger house.
So, yeah, I’ve seen both male and female gold diggers. During my time observing them, there are several trends that I couldn’t help but notice.
Mainly, the way gold diggers operate tends to be gendered.
Here are the 6 biggest differences between male and female gold diggers:
1. Female gold diggers tend to pressure men for money or gifts or play a damsel in distress, while male gold diggers are more likely to accuse women of gold-digging
Gold diggers generally have a specific approach they use to get what they're after. The approach tends to be very different based on gender.
Female gold diggers tend to play on traditional relationship roles by demanding men pay for everything, then dismissing them if dates can’t get precisely what they want. They may also play up the classic role of "damsel in distress."
Male gold diggers often will accuse women of the very act they do. This is done to try to pressure the woman into proving them wrong, when in reality, those women may not have any intention of using a man for money.
They may also avoid discussing traditional gender roles by asking women to "build with them." Once the woman has built up the man, he bails — often after she’s been duped into paying his college bills.
2. Male gold diggers seem to be marginally more likely to pull a bait and switch
We all know what a bait and switch is, right? It’s when you meet someone who acts amazing until they put a ring on it (or a baby in it). Then, all of a sudden, the supportive and financially stable partner evaporates.
Now, you’re stuck with someone who is refusing to work to earn their keep. You’re stuck pulling all the weight, wondering why your partner does not seem to care.
Anecdotally, I have seen men pull this move more than women — primarily because female gold diggers are more likely to be upfront about expecting men to support them.
With that said, it can happen to anyone.
3. While both genders may push for kids, men are far more likely to avoid talking about marriage
Kids are the easiest way for a gold digger to form a permanent financial tie to a person. Unsurprisingly, kids are often weaponized by gold diggers as a way to get more finances out of a person. That’s a "both genders" thing.
The divide comes when you look at how they treat marriage.
I’ll bite the bullet and say that marriage, as an institution, is very gold digger-friendly. In most states, you will have to pay alimony to an ex-spouse who isn’t employed for a set number of years.
For women who don’t want kids, this can be a regular paycheck.
Men, on the other hand, tend to press for kids but not marriage — at least, in a lot of cases. Some absolutely will marry for money or to live off a woman, but many are leery because a divorce can take away any assets they may have too.
Moreover, most men have heard horror stories of judges who refuse alimony for men as well as a slew of other nightmares. It’s less likely they will put their necks on the line unless they intend on being in it for as long as the victim will have them.
4. Female gold diggers tend to be more secretive than men about where they live and what they do
Most female gold diggers actually view this as a profession of sorts — like, this is their idea of a lifestyle. This also means they are more likely to have multiple lovers all providing them money for their bills.
Women doing this do not want their game to be exposed. So, they will block partners on social media. They’ll refuse to tell them where they’re going and also get secretive about where they live.
Men, on the other hand, tend to gold dig for a roof that comes with a free cleaning service. So, they will make themselves available 24/7.
As a friend of mine once said, "No man falls in love as fast as the guy who needs a roof over his head."
5. Male gold diggers are far more likely to become physically or verbally abusive than female gold diggers
If a female gold digger can’t get the man to provide, she leaves. It’s that simple, primarily because most women know that they are at a physical disadvantage to men. They don’t usually want to deal with retaliation or having a man fight back.
A male gold digger who does not get his way may end up physically intimidating and berating his target until she relents. After all, most women don’t want to pick a fight with a man who is bigger than them.
But, there’s another side to this that is worth saying — sometimes, abuse is abuse.
Abusers often will drain a woman’s bank account as a form of abuse — and this is done alongside physical and emotional abuse. Taking a woman’s money is an easy way to make it harder for victims to leave.
Either way, if you notice abuse, you can bet that staying with that person will cause a hit to your wallet. Abusers do not want you to be wealthy.
So, my best advice? Leave them and make sure they know they’re not welcome. You do not want this to escalate.
6. While female gold diggers will also (usually) care about a man’s job prestige, male gold diggers focus on what women do for them
Female gold diggers generally aren’t just digging for gold. They’re looking for a man with a prestigious title that can get them a cushy lifestyle that they don’t really have to work for. They want to flaunt who they're sleeping with.
Male gold diggers? Not so much. They tend not to care about a woman’s status.
In fact, some might not actually like being with a high-status woman. Rather, they are more into what the woman can provide for them: money, shelter, food, housework, college tuition, or at times, even connections for a career.
Regardless of gender, if you get a weird vibe about someone’s eye on your money, listen to your gut.
Gold digging is on the rise in the dating scene. Whether it’s the girl who uses men for fine dining or the guy who "falls in love" for money doesn’t matter. It’s crappy behavior.
If you get the feeling that someone just wants the gold, kick them to the curb. It’s no way to move through life.
If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse or violence, there are resources to get help.
There are ways to go about asking for help as safely as possible. For more information, resources, legal advice, and relevant links visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline. For anyone struggling with domestic abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). If you’re unable to speak safely, text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474 or log onto thehotline.org.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.