15 Signs The Man In Your Life Is A Beta Male (Not The Alpha You Were Looking For)
It's not all bad.
DaniiHarry / Getty Images, CatInColour via Canva When it comes to what women want out of men, the list or attributes versus deal breakers can be extensive. Women want him to be strong, yet sensitive, a manly man as long as he doesn’t have toxic masculinity.
As it relates to the socio sexual hierarchy, alpha males are usually described as the cream of the crop, edging out their competitors like the sigma male, omega male, gamma male, delta man, and especially beta men.
In discussions about desirability, it’s not uncommon to hear alphas or sigmas mentioned routinely. Alpha and beta males are considered opposite ends of the spectrum of male traits, with betas typically and possibly unjustly getting the short end of the stick.
What is a beta male?
Beta males are usually stereotyped as introverts or nerds with a tendency to be shy or socially awkward and inevitably get "friend zoned." While those assumptions may be true, beta males can also be sweet, kind, and reliable.
Beta men are seen as "Mr. Nice Guy," averse to conflict and careful not to stop on any toes. They can be helpful and vulnerable, making them ideal for candidates if you have a position as a good friend open in your life.
The beta man is not a natural leader like the alpha, nor is he as eccentric as an omega. He is not the adventurer that a gamma is and prefers staying in his comfort zone.
Though he and the delta male are both private, the beta males lack the aloof and resentful attitude of a delta. Some of the terms betas as associated with are "collaboration," "teamwork," and "moderation."
Beta males tend to be good at communicating, but aren’t the ones to initiate conversation. Still, there is a lot more to beta males than meets the eye.
15 Beta Male Traits
While most of the world focuses on the negative characteristics of a beta male, it is important to remember that male behavior is a delicate balance between the good and the bad.
1. He’s a follower.
If you’re looking for someone who will take the reins, the beta male is not your guy. His preference is to take a back seat and allow others to drive. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing; rather, it is an indication that beta men are team players.
2. He's super nice.
One of the best traits of a beta man is his kind nature. He is willing to help anyone in need and always shows other people grace. But he can also be too nice for his own good, allowing others to perceive his kindness as weakness.
3. He lacks independence.
Beta males depend on their partners or other people in their lives too much. Because beta males are not assertive, they rely on the constant guidance of others over their own good sense and intuition.
4. He's non-confrontational.
Where an alpha might welcome healthy debate, betas have no interest in arguing. He is okay with standing down if it means preserving his peace. But because betas won’t defend themselves, the perception of being weak rears its ugly head frequently.
5. He's passive.
Beta men don’t spend time engaging in passive-aggressiveness or outright aggression. A beta male is not derogatory or sarcastic and meets people who are with silence and retreat.
6. He's responsible.
If responsibility is high on the list of must-haves, get you a beta male. He is action-based, knows how to take care of his business, and keeps his personal and professional affairs in order.
7. He's not competitive.
A man with a beta personality type is not going to be threatened by your success. He wants you to feel comfortable, accepted and supported, flaws and all.
8. He's someone you can trust.
A beta is one of the men that you can trust with your heart. He understands your struggles and vulnerabilities and will never use them against you. He sees the beauty in your imperfections.
9. He's not insecure.
Because betas have no desire to be "the man" or compete with anyone, he is secure in who he is. He is content with the positive and negative aspects of himself, and is not worried about what anyone else thinks about him.
10. He's respectful.
Respect is something that every person should show others. Beta men do not come at people with disrespect; he has no need to exert his dominance over others.
11. He's a 'yes' man.
Knowing when to say no is just as important as being likable. Beta men struggle in that area. In an effort to be nice, he can become over-the-top agreeable and people will take advantage.
12. He has no problem communicating.
Beta males value conversation and are truthful when they communicate. He pays attention to what you are saying and is clear and concise to avoid any misunderstandings.
13. He needs to be by himself sometimes.
Alone time is vital to a beta man. He has no problem having a good time or working with others, but needs to balance that with his own personal time.
14. He's quiet.
Betas don’t have to be the center of attention. He prefers to be reserved and play the background quietly. Because of this, beta males are introverts who spend time processing their thoughts and emotions before acting.
15. He's extremely loyal.
Not only are betas honest and trustworthy, but you can count on them to be loyal to you. He won’t create drama, and appreciates your love and concern for him, so he is intentional in his dedication to you.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.