6 Behaviors That Transform Anxious Energy Into Quiet Power, According To A Psychologist
Follow these steps to both feel and appear more confident.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock Anyone who struggles with anxiety knows just how debilitating it can be. It makes you feel stuck with no way out. Fortunately, Kasturi M, a relationship therapist, author, and content creator known as "Hey Miss Therapist," shared some small things you can do to shift out of your anxious energy and become more confident.
In a recent Instagram post, she explained that it’s all about "training your nervous system to feel safe and in your power."
Here are six behaviors that transform anxious energy into quiet power:
1. 'Own your space'
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Anxious people quite literally collapse inward, or, as Kasturi put it, “shrink.” She said “crossed arms, hunched shoulders [and] hesitant steps” are an example of this.
But, “Confidence lives in expansion," she insisted. "Open up your posture, plant your feet firmly, and move with deliberate intention. Your body signals to your mind that you are safe and in control.”
Experts confirm that having a better, more confident posture is indeed good for your mindset. Author Meg Selig explained that improved posture is not only good for your physical health but also aids with “mental health and brain benefits.” It helps reduce stress, increase confidence and self-esteem, and boost your mood.
2. Maintain eye contact
Making eye contact can be intimidating, which is one of the reasons why it promotes confidence. “Holding steady, relaxed eye contact builds instant presence,” Kasturi said. “It’s not about staring someone down, but about being fully present in your body as you connect with theirs.”
As Kasturi explained, you shouldn't make eye contact uncomfortable by giving off the vibe that you are staring into someone’s soul. But holding eye contact signals to your body that you are in control.
3. Notice how you talk to yourself
You can’t control what others say to you, but you can control the way that you talk to yourself. “Your thoughts shape your reality,” Kasturi said. “If your internal dialogue is full of self-doubt, your energy will follow.”
She recommended making some simple but powerful mindset shifts in the way you think about and talk to yourself, such as going from “I’m not enough” to “I bring something unique to every space.” Instead of thinking, "What if I say something stupid?" say, "What I say adds value."
Healthline writer Susan York Morris noted, “Your thoughts are the source of your emotions and mood. The conversations you have with yourself can be destructive or beneficial. They influence how you feel about yourself and how you respond to events in your life.” She pointed out that while some people are blessed with the gift of positive self-talk, it’s a skill that most have to practice and master.
4. 'Embrace stillness'
In our fast-paced world, it can be difficult to slow down and choose stillness. But Kasturi thinks this is crucial. “A confident person doesn’t fidget, rush to fill silence, or over-explain,” she said. “Stillness radiates self-assurance. Next time you’re in a conversation, practice pausing before responding.”
By refusing to fill every single moment, you show others that you are confident and at peace with yourself. "The most magnetic people trust that their presence alone is impactful," Kasturi added.
5. 'Be aware of micro-leaks'
Micro-leaks, Kasturi said, are what occur with “every unnecessary apology, awkward laugh or nervous moment [that] signals self-doubt.” They are dangerous because they “weaken your presence.” You don’t want your confident energy to leak all over the place.
To keep your confident power and avoid micro-leaks, Kasturi advised consciously looking out for these bad habits and replacing them with "intentional stillness, direct speech, and grounded movement."
6. 'Find your confidence anchors'
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“Your nervous system remembers sensations,” Kasturi explained, and you can use this to your advantage. “Use scent, music, or touch to condition your body into confidence.” For example, every time you hear a certain song or smell a specific perfume, you’ll feel pumped up.
Anxious energy is uncomfortable to feel and difficult to overcome. But, by using Kasturi’s tips to turn it into quiet power, you will be more confident, powerful, and in control. You’ll soon find that letting go of that anxious energy becomes easier and more natural.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.