11 Behaviors That Seem Rude But Are Actually Signs Of A Strong, Independent Woman
These women lead by an example that we should all follow.
Kinga | Shutterstock Since women have begun embracing their own individuality and not abiding by societal standards for them, they've become more confident. Rather than feeling exhausted and burned out from the expectation to "do it all," women are instead aiming to be their best selves, catering to their own needs.
Unfortunately, people who don't play by the rules are still looked down upon as they engage in behaviors that seem rude but are actually signs of a strong, independent woman. From refusing to conform to putting herself first and saying "no" when she wants to, these women are often labeled as too difficult to deal with. Even so, this doesn't stop women from thriving despite what others have to say.
Here are 11 behaviors that seem rude but are actually signs of a strong, independent woman
1. She speaks her mind
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One of the more obvious behaviors that seem rude but are actually signs of a strong, independent woman is the fact that she speaks her mind. Women are often told to be pleasant and smile, and that being honest or expressing their emotions makes them too emotional.
But as a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found, repressing emotions often leaves negative emotions intact, while simultaneously getting rid of the positive ones. Even so, strong women don't care and continue to express themselves, regardless of what other people think.
It's not always the easiest thing to do, but a strong woman is upfront and honest, and that's a lot better than holding those emotions in. Not only does this improve her mental health, but it prevents misunderstandings.
2. She sets boundaries and refuses to compromise
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Most women aren't taught how to set boundaries. From a young age, women are practically programmed to be in tune with other people's wants, needs, and desires, neglecting their own in the process. From how they look to what they eat, most women were only ever taught to push their boundaries for the betterment of everybody else.
But down the road, it leads to exhaustion. Constantly catering to others and never setting boundaries often leads them to completely burn out.
According to licensed clinical professional counselor Millie Huckabee, "When people feel obligated to meet others' demands at the cost of their own well-being, they risk burnout and anxiety," and that, "by setting clear boundaries, we protect our energy, mental health, and personal values."
On the other hand, never setting boundaries leads to resentment and stress. Whether it's at work or a relationship, refusing to express their needs and constantly putting others before themselves leads to hurt, ruining important relationships. As hard as it may be, women shouldn't be afraid to set those boundaries.
3. She doesn't over-apologize
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Most women have felt like an inconvenience, apologizing for every little thing, even though she's done nothing wrong. Whether it's because she's been told she needs to apologize or because she's embarrassed, in society's eyes, women aren't allowed to make mistakes. Growing up, parents likely had unrealistic expectations for their daughters as well.
All of these unrealistic expectations come at a cost. Perfectionism runs deep, and the impact of perfectionist tendencies is rarely ever studied. But, according to research published in 2022, high perfectionism is associated with worse mental health.
Thankfully, strong women know what society expects of them, but rather than feed into these expectations, they march to the beat of their own drums. Even if they inconvenience others, independent women refuse to apologize unless there is truly something to apologize for.
4. She prioritizes herself
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When people think of the perfect woman, they probably think of famous celebrities who are always "on" and perfect. Their bright personalities and seemingly relatable and kind nature draw people in and make these standards the absolute goal.
Women have been trained at a young age to cater to others. So used to putting other people's needs before their own, they never once considered that there were other opinions. But one of the behaviors that seem rude but are actually signs of a strong, independent woman is putting herself first.
Women struggle to get out of this mindset, but those who break out of it experience an undeniable benefit that others could only dream of: peace. As clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone PhD explained, "When we fill our time with responsibilities and constantly prioritize the needs of others over our own, we can drain ourselves of energy and desire."
Women should put themselves first. Not only because it's what they deserve, but their happiness will suffer if they don't.
5. She an assertive leader
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For quite some time, assertive women have been seen in quite a negative light. Even if they expressed the same behaviors as men, like being direct and firm, they were told they were being insulting and disrespectful. But for a strong, independent woman, her assertiveness is what propels her forward in life, especially in her career.
But by following tropes of women who are meek, people believe that women are rude if they're "too bossy." And, as a result, women sometimes feel the need to change themselves in order to fit in.
Harvard Business School cited multiple studies and explained that women are increasingly more likely to shrug off their achievements and be less confident than men. This is unfortunate, as this weakened sense of confidence is likely the result of gender expectations and stereotypes. Yet, despite this, strong women continue to thrive, regardless of what other people might think.
6. She's emotionally independent
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When people think of independent women, they often think of women having their own home, hauling her groceries up many flights of stairs, or driving a stick shift. However, true independence is more than just the materialistic things — it's the unspoken emotional attachments women have towards other people.
From friends to family to romantic interests, everyone has someone they cling to. Yet, just like anything in life, there's a need for balance. Emotional dependency in a relationship can be a dangerous thing without proper boundaries set in place. According to a study published in BioMed Research International, there's a correlation between excessive dependency and aggression, regardless of the contextual situation.
So, even if people tell them differently, strong, independent women understand how toxic being dependent on someone else can be, which is why they always retain some emotional independence in their relationships.
7. She isn't afraid to say 'no'
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Whether it's taking on another task at work or her partner asking if she can take over his house chores, a strong, independent woman will assert herself and say no without ever feeling guilty. Unfortunately, many women are afraid to voice their opinions and might find themselves saying yes when they really want to say no.
Associate professor of sociology Kathryn J. Lively, PhD explained, "As young children, girls are socialized to be nice and to be more in touch with their own and other people's feelings than are boys." Yet as they get older, these same girls turn into women who are overly cautious of other people's feelings.
Though there's nothing wrong with compassion for others, caring too much leaves women unable to say no because they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or cause inconveniences, despite feeling drained mentally and emotionally.
People expect women to always push their feelings to the side. So, when women speak up and say no, it's often labeled as disrespectful. Still, strong women don't care and continue to say no, even if it bothers those around them.
8. She doesn't seek praise or validation
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It's upsetting how many people expect women to be grateful or desperate for other people's validation. Whether it's being paid a compliment by a stranger or a co-worker, many are shocked when women continue to act confident, regardless if they receive praise or validation.
Women are often raised to be people-pleasers. From parents who expected everything from them to partners who demanded absolute perfection, seeking praise and validation can become second nature.
But for strong, independent women, they don't need validation from anyone but themselves. And these women don't feel the need to seek comfort and praise from others.
9. She has high standards and refuses to settle
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Until recently, women were often expected to settle with the limited options they had. Outdated beliefs included marriage being the only way forward, and many women took what they could get out of fear of being in an unstable or difficult situation. But by refusing to settle for less or compromise her high standards, this is one of the behaviors that seem rude but are actually signs of a strong, independent woman.
As much as some would like to pretend that picking a life partner isn't that big of a deal, in actuality, spending forever with another person is a huge decision. From raising kids together to figuring out finances, there's a reason why women have ditched the bare minimum.
Instead, they want a partner that is their equal and treats them as such. They want a partner who does chores without asking, who treats them like royalty, and who doesn't try to fit them into a very rigid box.
10. She knows when to walk away from toxic situations
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It's hard to walk away from situations or people that used to bring so much joy. From great friendships to once-in-a-lifetime loves, some women are tempted to cling to the things that once lifted them up. Even so, sometimes it's necessary to walk away from situations that no longer serve you.
When women walk away from toxic relationships or situations, they show just how strong and independent they are. Even though they're often labeled as difficult, with many condemning her choice to put herself first, it's not irrational of her to do so.
Putting themselves first is great for a woman's mental health. According to licensed mental health counselor Stephanie A. Sarkis, PhD, toxic people can drain you emotionally, negatively affect your state of mind, and break your boundaries. Even if strong women are condemned for it, they should continue to put themselves first and walk away from things that no longer serve them.
11. She refuses to conform
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By refusing to conform to societal standards or those set by people closest to her, it's one of the behaviors that seem rude but are actually signs of a strong, independent woman. From the way they live to the way they eat, women are expected to conform without question. If the trend is skinny and curvy, women are expected to fit that mold.
But women no longer care as much about who society expects them to be. Instead, they are embracing individuality. And in a world that demands too much from women, it's rarely ever easy to turn their back and say they don't care.
Still, strong, independent women find ways to do it and don't abide by certain standards and rules. And that's the most liberating thing of all.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
