11 Behaviors Of A Person Who No One Takes Seriously In Life
Your insecurities may be sabotaging the potential for new relationships.
MKavalenkau | Shutterstock While it's entirely possible a person who's not taken seriously is being sabotaged by an unhealthy circle of people, there's also a number of self-inflicted behaviors that can urge people to avoid relationships and connections with them. Like psychologist Leon F Seltzer suggests, insecurity, self-doubt and even emotional dysregulation can often encourage people to not take you seriously.
You project a certain standard for yourself that warps others' perceptions of you. By acknowledging some of the behaviors of a person who no one takes seriously in life, you not only protect yourself from sabotaging healthy connections and relationships, you can boost your own confidence — encouraging people to respect, value, and appreciate you in the same way that you do yourself.
Here are 11 behaviors of a person who no one takes seriously in life
1. They boast about their goals before achieving them
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Not only does boasting and sharing your goals with people before actually achieving them rob you of the motivation it takes to reach them, like psychologist Marwa Azab argues, it also sabotages the feelings of relief and happiness that occur when you do make progress.
Of course, the instant gratification of a behavior like this can feel compelling, encouraging people to consistently miss out on achieving their goals in pursuit of a more temporary feeling of accomplishment and external validation.
Similar to an unkept promise, it's hard to take a person like this seriously, when they're always boasting about their accomplishments and achievements without any proof they'll actually happen.
2. They overpromise and underdeliver
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Being consistent and reliable are two important ways to build trust in any kind of relationship. When you make promises, keep them, and show up for your commitments, you're reminding people that they can rely and count on you, like experts from Utah State University suggest.
However, one of the behaviors of a person who no one takes seriously in life is overpromising and underlivering. Not only do they fall short on their promises, they tend to make fake ones in order to win people over or seem more engaged than they truly are.
Not only do these people erode the trust in their relationships by consistently missing their commitments, they often try to cultivate superficial bonds by offering up promises that have no real meaning.
3. They pretend to know everything
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Many people who refuse to put themselves in challenging situations or try things they've never done before miss out on the opportunity to grow, make new connections, and learn how to self-soothe in the face of discomfort. Instead, they tend to project a selfish and arrogant image of themselves to others, in an attempt to soothe themselves and gain control, pretending like they know everything.
Rather than opening up to their own creativity and curiosity, two traits of truly competent and intelligent people, and asking thoughtful questions and admitting when they're out of their realm of expertise, they put on a show.
As one of the behaviors of a person who no one takes seriously in life, these "know-it-alls" tend to sabotage their relationships and potential connections by trying to project a sense of perfectionism and superiority rather than genuinity and self-awareness.
4. They're always available
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Many people who are disrespected by others and taken advantage of sabotage themselves are refusing to set clear boundaries and expectations with the people in their lives. Instead of reminding people that their time is valuable and even saying "no" more often, they let people walk all over them.
If you want people to respect and value your time, you have to respect it yourself. You don't have to make up fake plans to be taken seriously in life, but saying "no" and setting boundaries around when people should feel comfortable contacting and hanging out with you can ensure you're being valued in all of your relationships.
5. They constantly complain
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In addition to introducing a cycle of negativity into your life, relationships, and general emotional well-being, like psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen suggests, constantly complaining can also have significant psychological effects on our brains, impairing cognitive skills like problem-solving and memory.
While it might seem like a coping mechanism and bonding behavior in the wrong relationships, constantly complaining is one of the behaviors of a person who no one takes seriously in life.
Not only do they refuse to take accountability for the power they yield in crafting their own specific circumstances, they tend to introduce unnecessary negativity into their relationships and connections, which can be equally draining and taxing for the people around them.
6. They make excuses instead of taking accountability
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How can you trust someone who always makes excuses rather than owning up to their toxic behaviors and language? Do you want to spend time around someone who always introduces a negative energy to conversations with excuses and complaints? If you wouldn't want to spend your time around someone like that, why are you surprised that someone who makes excuses all the time is also someone nobody takes seriously?
In many relationships, it's hard to take someone seriously who always has an excuse for everything — they're always the victim. People want to feel a sense of security in their relationships, whether it's a peer at work or an intimate partner at home.
When they notice someone is constantly making excuses, rather than taking accountability and growing from their past experiences, it can spark feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. Who's to say they won't do the same if they hurt you?
7. They speak without listening
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Like leadership expert Mike Robbins claims, insecurity can often sabotage healthy relationships and conversations, encouraging people to interrupt, speak without thinking, and make hurtful comments to self-soothe their anxiety and uncomfortable emotions.
Not only does this inability to actively listen and make other people feel valued in conversation hurt their potential relationships and connections, it's one of the behaviors of a person who no one takes seriously in life. If you can't make safe space for someone in a conversation, why should they make an effort to make it for you?
8. They refuse to be flexible
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Amid the chaos and stressful nature of many people's schedules, the practice of being adaptable can be truly revolutionary. From helping couples to resolve conflicts more efficiently, to better navigating changing life stages, to even effectively expressing their own needs and boundaries, being adaptable to new situations and change is incredibly rewarding and envied, as transformation coach Vivien Roggero posits.
However, people who refuse to change, stuck in their comfort zone and rigid beliefs, often sabotage their own personal growth and encourage other people to not view them in a serious way.
Being an adult means figuring out how to advocate for yourself and putting yourself out of your comfort zone. When you refuse to do so, it's your perceived maturity that falters.
9. They speak poorly about themselves to others
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Confidence speaks loudly and often sets a standard for how people interact with us in our passing conversations, professional lives, and relationships. When we teach people to disrespect and take advantage of us, it stems from our vague boundaries, negative self-talk, and insecurities.
Insecure people, who express their negative thoughts about themselves to others, are also more susceptible to toxic relationships with narcissistic and manipulative people who can consistently overstep their boundaries without consequences.
So, if you want to be taken seriously, offered respect in social situations, and treated kindly, you have to start providing it for yourself first. No matter how hard we try to fight it, the way we treat and value ourselves is reflected in our relationships with others.
10. They express entitlement to the people around them
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Many people who feel a sense of entitlement — that their peers or the world owes them something simply for who they are — sabotage their ability to maintain and cultivate healthy relationships founded on trust. Instead of truly appreciating and expressing gratitude for other people's kind acts, they simply shrug them off as something they're "owed."
While it's one of the more subtle behaviors of a person who no one takes seriously in life, it's important to recognize that entitled people often miss out on the small joys of life. Feeling loved by their partners after coming home with their favorite dinner, smiling at a stranger on the street, or having the door held open for them.
How can you take someone seriously who assumes everyone is going to bend over backwards to help them with little to no acknowledgement?
11. They're mean for no reason
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Everyone is personally dealing with their own struggles, insecurities, and challenges in life, but at what point does a person's mean-spirited and unkind behavior become too inappropriate to make excuses for? Being consistently rude and disrespectful is one of the clear behaviors of a person who no one takes seriously in life.
According to psychology professor Ronald E. Riggio PhD, people who are mean are triggered by fear, resentment, polarization, and societal norms. He emphasizes the importance of being kind and putting differences aside, saying, "We need to realize our commonalities, and focus primarily on similarities and shared purpose rather than differences."
But if a person can't offer basic grace, empathy, and compassion to people around them — whether it's complete strangers or their closest friends — what's the point in investing time, effort, and energy into a relationship with them?
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.