10 Behaviors Of A Certified Man-Child With Low Emotional Maturity, According To Psychology
This type of man is not at all relationship material.
Engin Akyurt | Unsplash Some people, when equipped with little, can succeed in life and become multi-billionaires. Others, however, will find every excuse imaginable to avoid becoming a successful, independent adult.
These people have what's called Failure To Launch syndrome, and if you’re dating a person with man-child tendencies, you’re probably waiting for them to finally take on a more responsible, adult role.
If you notice any of these man-child behaviors that suggest low emotional maturity, it’s time to leave him. Men who have Fail-To-Launch status are not only incapable of being functional adults, they are also incapable of having healthy relationships.
Here are the behaviors of a certified man-child with low emotional maturity:
1. He is past the age of 35 and still lives with his parents
Though times have changed significantly in recent decades and while there may be cultural issues at play, this is still a major warning sign that something isn’t right.
If he has never moved out of his parent’s home by this age, there’s a good chance that he’s not going to budge if you ask him to move in with you. Why? Because he has low emotional maturity and can’t stand the idea of being away from his caretakers.
2. He still acts like a player
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Even though it’s not cool at any age, it’s understandable if a guy acts like a jerk in his teenage years or even his early twenties. After a while, though, this kind of behavior should raise an eyebrow. If he’s still doing this well into his thirties, he’s emotionally stunted — and you should bail.
The reasons behind men acting as players are complex and multifaceted, potentially stemming from a combination of factors, including a need for validation, a desire for novelty, and a lack of emotional maturity or empathy.
A 2010 study found that it's crucial to remember that not all men who engage in casual relationships are players or have harmful intentions. Some men prefer a different approach to dating and relationships, and that's okay. The term player is often used negatively and can be a generalization that doesn't apply to all men who may have casual relationships.
3. His career is non-existent
The most common hallmark of the man-child is the fact that he has no career to speak of. Most of the time, he spends his days on his computer or playing video games.
He can’t (or won’t) keep a full-time job for longer than three months, and basically expects everything to be handed to him even though he does nothing to earn it. A woman who dates a guy with this career issue shouldn’t expect things to turn around and should be looking for a better match.
4. He can’t do basic household upkeep and he’s over 25
By the time anyone is in their 20s, they should know what to expect when dealing with regular household chores. If he can’t do laundry, can’t clean dishes, and can’t cook by this age, this indicates that he’s not capable of living without someone else doing it all for him.
Men may struggle with household chores due to differing perceptions of mess and the domestic environment, traditional gender roles, and a lack of exposure to chores during childhood, leading to a perceived lack of need to perform them.
A Pew Research Center study found a significant gender gap in how mothers and fathers describe their household's distribution of labor, with women reporting doing more household labor than their husbands. This suggests that men may not perceive the workload as unfair, even if it is.
5. He acts unusually childlike for his age
There’s nothing wrong with having fun on the weekends, going to the club occasionally, or having hobbies like cosplay.
But there is a certain point where a person’s actions and behavior stop being youthful and start being worrisome. If he has tantrums, pouts, or can’t seem to stop acting like a teenager, this is a sign that he has failure-to-launch syndrome, at least on an emotional level.
6. His expectations of what he can get in terms of romance or marriage are unreal
Most guys wth low emotional maturity often think that they can “pull” women who are way above their leagues. They will expect the girl they date to look incredible, have an insane career, be the heiress to a million dollars, and also be willing to take care of them no matter what. Many of these guys also have Nice Guy Syndrome, so take that as you wish.
Unrealistic romantic expectations, often influenced by media portrayals or personal experiences, can lead to dissatisfaction, low self-esteem, and even relationship conflicts, particularly in men.
A 2023 study recommended that if unrealistic expectations significantly impact relationships or mental well-being, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial.
7. You can’t convince him to get a job, go to school, or even save up money
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The problem with most Failure To Launch partners is that they wreak havoc on your finances.
Even if you can support a Fail-To-Launch, they will find other ways to drain your bank account. And when you try to convince them to do something to alleviate the stress, they’ll make you out to be the bad guy.
Sadly, people like this don’t learn — ever. So, rather than lighting yourself on fire to keep warm, do yourself a favor and walk away.
8. When you try to advance the relationship or get him to act like an adult, an excuse always shows up
Guys who are man-children h don’t want to accept responsibility for the fact that they’re losers. So, if you tell him you want him to move out, he’ll say that he doesn’t have enough money. If you tell him you have money for him, he’ll say he needs to get his debt in order.
If you offer to pay his debt, he’ll say that he doesn’t want to do it “that way.” Excuses will be there, no matter what.
9. He’s constantly going out to the club and using substances, even when he can’t afford it
This is a bad sign that he may have more than just man-child syndrome.
A guy who can’t realize when the party’s over is a guy who may be addicted to staying a teenager forever... or just addicted to drugs.
10. He’s deathly afraid of commitment
No matter what you do or what argument you offer, he will not commit to anything more than (if you’re lucky) “girlfriend status.” If this sounds like him, you need to rethink your taste in men. With a guy like this, he’s not the only thing that will fail to launch if you’re hoping to hubby him up.
While commitment phobia isn't a formal diagnosis, men, like people of all genders, may fear commitment due to various factors, including past experiences, anxiety, attachment styles, and societal expectations, impacting their mental well-being and relationships.
A 2023 study recommended building trust and intimacy in relationships and prioritizing communication and emotional honesty, which may lead to a greater sense of security and reduce the fear of commitment.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.