Babysitter Wonders If She’s Overreacting To A Kid’s Comments About Her ‘Neglectful’ Mom — ‘I’m Being Paid To Be A Parent’
What she's seeing is definitely neglect — and a possible mental health crisis.
BAZA Production | Shutterstock Whether it's a nanny or a housecleaner, people who work in others' homes are often privy to signs that not all is well in the family. A babysitter on Reddit is a perfect example.
She posted to the forum looking for advice after noticing some trends and habits in the home of one little girl she cares for that have her deeply concerned and wondering if she should intervene.
The babysitter is worried the kid's mom is neglectful after comments the little girl made.
"I’m currently a morning babysitter for a 7-year-old girl," the babysitter wrote in her post. The little girl's father died three years ago, so three days a week, she helps with the little girl's "morning routine."
But just a few days into the job, she's started seeing red flags. "I feel like I may be seeing/hearing comments of neglect," she wrote, especially after a comment the little girl made one recent morning.
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"The alarms started ringing when I came into my shift this Wednesday," she wrote, "and the little girl tells me, 'I’m glad you woke up to come here this morning.'"
The babysitter noticed the mom sleeps most of the day and doesn't help her daughter with things like brushing her teeth.
Before the little girl ever made the comment, the babysitter had seen some patterns that concerned her. "I have been noticing that her mom has yet to leave for work in the morning anymore," she wrote. "I hear her alarm ring multiple times, but no movement."
The little girl has made other comments as well. "She said that 'mommy is not a good babysitter,'" and told her that her mom doesn't help with breakfast or really with anything at all in the morning. "'She does everything by herself,'" the girl said.
The little girl has also said that she never brushes her teeth and that her mom doesn't help her. The same goes for brushing her hair.
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At first, she thought maybe the mom was trying to teach her daughter independence, but now it's come to feel "like she has to do all these things because her mom doesn’t wanna do it for her."
"Sometimes I feel like I'm just being paid off to parent for her child," the babysitter went on to say. "Which makes me so, so sad. I can understand wanting a break, but… something simply feels off!"
Many questioned the mom's mental health episode and suggested she may be struggling with substances.
It's easy to understand why this babysitter would get the impression that the little girl's mom is being neglectful or lazy. But what stuck out to most readers was, especially given how recently her husband passed, the mom seems like she might be suffering from a crisis.
"Sounds like mom is depressed," one commenter wrote. Others thought her habits sounded like alcoholism. "Grief and depression can do a number on a person," one person wrote.
Grief and depression in a parent are commonly correlated with child neglect as well as substance abuse.
One study found that 62% of parents who mistreat their children were suffering from some kind of mental health struggle and that parental depression is predictive of maltreatment of kids.
Unfortunately, the mom has no family nearby that the babysitter can enlist to help with the situation. So, people urged her to try to have a conversation with the mom if she feels comfortable, to keep her eyes peeled for escalating neglect, and, if the worst comes to worst, to call child protective services for assistance.
After reading their comments, the babysitter realized she was misreading the situation and made a plan to try to speak with the mom about what was going on.
Hopefully, she can find the help she needs, whatever it may be.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.