11 Annoying Phrases That Are An Insult To Everyone’s Intelligence
Be intentional with the things you say.
iaginzburg | Shutterstock Engaging in social interactions, honing our social skills, and conversing with strangers enhance our intelligence, according to a study by SAGE Publications. So, it’s no wonder that how we view our own intelligence is shaped, at least in part, by those around us. Asking thoughtful questions or reaching out for help can enhance how others perceive our intelligence. On the flip side, some habits and phrases might unintentionally cloud our intellectual and emotional strengths.
Many of the annoying phrases that insult everyone’s intelligence actively work to misdefine not just the speaker’s intelligence but also that of the people around them. Whether it’s inflated language, misunderstood words, or phrases that don’t make sense in conversation, a person’s speaking style and word choices can significantly affect how intelligent they are perceived to be.
Here are 11 annoying phrases that are an insult to everyone’s intelligence:
1. ‘No offense, but’
Lightfield Studios | Shutterstock.com
According to a study from the Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience journal, there’s a link between a person’s emotional intelligence — their ability to process, acknowledge, reason with, and regulate emotions — and their general intelligence and competence. When someone uses a phrase like “no offense,” they’re blatantly disregarding language and social skills associated with that emotional intelligence, encouraging others to view them as less competent.
While this subtle phrase may be unsuspecting in conversations, disguised behind a speaker’s alleged "brutal honesty,” it can be inherently dismissive and invalidating to a person’s response to ignorance or hurtful language. Healthy, intelligent, and self-aware people lead with compassion in their conversations, as Louay Safi argues in “Leading with Compassion,” helping people to feel heard and valued.
Considering that many of the annoying phrases that insult everyone’s intelligence reflect a lack of emotional intelligence and social awareness, it’s not surprising that a person who frequently uses them struggles to cultivate healthy relationships and thoughtful passing interactions with others.
2. ‘You’re being insensitive’
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock.com
According to Jamie D. Aten, director of the Humanitarian Disaster Institute, using the word “insensitive” is often a disguise for calling out someone’s poor behavior—from disrespecting a boundary to using hurtful language and generally lacking empathy in social situations.
When we use this phrase, saying that someone’s “being insensitive,” when we mean they’re being ignorant, self-centered, or lazy, we’re not only subtly overlooking the poor behaviors that are affecting us, we’re using one of the annoying phrases that are an insult to everyone’s intelligence.
3. ‘I’m humbled’
GaudiLab | Shutterstock.com
Generally, feeling humbled has a negative connotation — being forced to recognize your shortcomings or lack of self-importance in the face of struggle or a loss of pride. However, many people use it to simultaneously accept praise and gratitude, sidestepping accusations of self-centeredness or an inflated ego.
As one of the annoying phrases that insult everyone’s intelligence, this one encourages people to subtly people-please — a behavior that sabotages self-worth and social perceptions of competence — to appease others' comfort in the face of their success.
You’re allowed to express excitement and gratitude in the face of your accomplishments without dulling down your emotions to make other people feel less insecure or uncomfortable.
4. ‘I’ll own that’
pixelheadphoto digitalskillet | Shutterstock.com
According to a study from the Clinical Psychology Review, taking responsibility for mistakes and “owing up” to shortcomings is a sign of emotional intelligence, encouraging other people to perceive you as more confident and competent. However, a person's language when taking accountability is important, as it can sometimes sabotage the wellness associated with an act of emotional intelligence like this one.
When you say, “I’ll own that,” typically, you’re speaking about something tangible that you’ll own without any associated action. You can own a home, your car, or a new book, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be taking any inherently associated actions alongside that ownership.
When you say, you’ll “own” a mistake, that can encourage others to feel dismissed — lacking language associated with a genuine apology or tangible steps to make amends during a conflict or emotional disagreement. By using phrases like “How can we best move forward?” or “Here’s what I’ll do to make up for my mistake,” you reassure the people around you and encourage them to perceive you as more competent and thoughtful while taking accountability.
5. ‘I feel you’
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock.com
According to Harvard linguist Steven Pinker, in his book The Sense of Style, it’s common for people to misuse words and misunderstand phrases that they rely on in their daily vocabulary—even those who are generally perceived to be intelligent and competent. However, using these phrases regularly without consideration for their true intentions can sabotage social connections and self-improvement.
When you tell someone that “you feel them,” the intention may be compassionate—trying to help someone feel heard and understood while expressing their emotions—but toward the wrong audience, it can be misunderstood as less comforting.
According to a 2011 study from the Journal of Consumer Research, being intentional about the phrases you rely on in conversation impacts perceptions of your intelligence and can also influence your feelings of self-worth and confidence.
6. ‘Like, you know’
SG SHOT | Shutterstock.com
While there are undoubtedly appropriate uses for filler words like “um” or “so” in social interactions, according to linguist Valerie M. Fridland, they can grab a listener’s attention or convey a specific message; generally speaking, they’re associated with lowered competency and confidence.
According to one 2022 study, people who use filler words are generally perceived to be more anxious and unprepared than those who don’t, encouraging them to seem less competent in professional and personal social interactions. While many are unavoidable in conversation, it’s important to choose language when speaking intentionally — not only solidifying internal confidence in social skills but encouraging others to feel secure, confident, and understood while you’re talking.
7. ‘I could care less’
Ilona Kozhevnikova | Shutterstock.com
Unsurprisingly, “I could care less” is an annoying phrase that insults everyone’s intelligence, as it’s one of the most misunderstood and misused pieces of language many people still use incorrectly in their daily lives. When you say, “I could care less,” you’re not expressing complete apathy towards someone or something; you’re telling them that you do care about it — enough that there are other things you care about less.
If you’re trying to express passivity or a lack of emotion, try using “I couldn’t care less” — you’ll not only be saying what you mean but standing out as more competent in a sea of misunderstandings and misused language.
8. ‘It’s impossible’
Fizkes | Shutterstock.com
Saying that something is “impossible” generally reflects a person’s self-worth, confidence, and competence more than the actual practicality of the thing or situation. Using a phrase like this creates limits to what a person can achieve.
You can grow if you’re willing to try at something, seek out challenges, and experience things you’ve never done before. Still, if you’re only relying on a phrase like this to avoid discomfort, it’s not surprising that others perceive you to be less confident.
Many of the things that intelligent people find enjoyable are also embedded in annoying phrases that insult everyone’s intelligence. Saying “it’s impossible” is a motivating factor for an intelligent person to try something new. Still, in the mouth of the wrong person, it’s a restrictive phrase that sabotages their self-improvement, confidence, and social skills.
9. ‘I have a dumb question’
Fizkes | Shutterstock.com
According to business leader Jackie Keys, the most intelligent person in any room asks all the questions, not necessarily the one with all the answers. Admitting that you don’t know something and asking a question is a sign of intelligence — you’re willing to ask for help and advice if it means getting an opportunity to learn from someone else.
People who use a phrase like this are sabotaging their intelligence, but they’re also never giving other people a chance to share their advice, help, and expertise — making this one of the annoying phrases that insult everyone’s intelligence. When you don’t know something, there’s no reason to attack or diminish yourself by suggesting asking for help is somehow a “dumb question” or endeavor.
While it may be natural human nature to fear things we don’t know or understand and find confidence in seeking answers, asking for help, and posing thoughtful questions — it’s not just a practice of self-improvement but also a compassionate social connection.
10. ‘To be honest’
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock.com
Being honest generally requires more than simply telling the truth and saying the right things, but that doesn’t mean phrases like “to be honest” can’t sabotage a person’s perceived integrity and competence. According to psychologists, saying “to be honest” encourages others to believe you’re not always honest — despite the intention behind the words.
When you’re adamant about reminding other people that you’re being honest, you sabotage truly connecting and building trust with them — encouraging them to steer clear of conversations and interactions with you.
11. ‘There’s no reason to talk about that’
GaudiLab | Shutterstock.com
When you’re an intelligent person who finds joy in curious endeavors and stimulation in seeking out new experiences, of course, this will be an annoying phrase that insults everyone’s intelligence. Whether considering a hypothetical situation or asking thoughtful questions to a stranger, the most competent people feed their intelligence and fuel other people’s perception of it in curious endeavors like these.
According to a study published in the Journal of Individual Differences, there’s a link between a person’s intelligence and their curiosity. However, when seeking out new experiences and challenges is snubbed by a phrase like this, it’s no surprise that everyone’s general intelligence suffers.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.