31 Things One Woman Wishes She'd Known In Her 20s That Would Have 'Revolutionized' Her Life
What would you tell your 20-year-old self?
Alliance Images / Canva Pro Your 20s are characterized as a tumultuous journey of experiences and lessons. It was a lot of fun but also chaotic, and sometimes terrifying. As Gen Z is labeling it nowadays, to be 21 is to be a 1-year-old adult; such little knowledge, yet so much youthful energy.
But there's a reason why they say hindsight is 20/20.
Victoria Hutchins, also known as The Daily Victorian on TikTok, is a yoga instructor, content creator, and corporate lawyer. She recently took to the video-sharing app to shed some wisdom on her early days of adulthood.
In honor of her 31st birthday, she posted a TikTok sharing 31 wise things she wishes she had known in her 20s.
1. Your allergy to rejection is holding you back.
Everyone faces rejection. It’s a natural part of life, which often leads to growth. To never be rejected is to never evolve.
Dive into experiences without fear of being rejected, and you'll notice the hold that fear has over you will begin to loosen, freeing you from your own mind’s constraints.
2. People are not thinking about you as much as you think they are.
An unfortunate symptom of self-awareness is the false idea that people are constantly thinking about and judging you. In actuality, everyone is too busy thinking about themselves, likely stressing over the same issue.
Life is too short to worry about what other people might be thinking about you, especially when they’re most likely not thinking about you at all.
3. If someone never talks to you unless you initiate it, they don't like you.
Try something new and stop initiating conversations and get-togethers with people you have a one-sided friendship with.
4. If someone pretends not to know you when they're with other people, they don't like you.
There’s no bigger friendship red flag than when someone doesn’t acknowledge you in the presence of others. This is an example of toxic behavior from someone who only wants you around when they need something from you. Let them go!
5. If someone is consistently too busy to speak to you, they don't like you.
If someone is constantly blowing you off, then you're simply not that important to them and they'd rather make time for other things. Let them go and choose yourself!
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6. You deserve to spend your time with people who like you.
To sum up the last three points, surround yourself with caring, compassionate individuals who offer mutual respect and support for you.
7. If someone cares about you, being honest about how you feel won't scare them away.
Communicating your thoughts and feelings with each other is a huge element of friendship. In a healthy relationship, both individuals should always be heard and understood when expressing their feelings.
8. If someone doesn't care about you, suppressing your feelings won't make them stay.
Suppressing these emotions will only harm you in the long run, and it won’t make that person stay. If they cared about you, you would feel it.
9. Trying to be something you're not will only highlight the parts of yourself you're trying to hide.
Pretending to be someone you're not is an injustice to your unique identity, plus others will see right through this facade. Instead, embrace the parts of yourself you may feel ashamed of and approach them with acceptance.
10. 'Cool' looks a million different ways, but it's mutually exclusive with inauthenticity.
Being cool generally means following the crowd and living for others' expectations, but if you let all that go, you'll realize life is a lot cooler living for your own expectations.
11. Being nice is cooler than being cool.
Whether it’s how you treat your server or how you introduce yourself to new people, being kind is the greatest strength of all.
12. Your biggest regrets will be the times you mistreated people.
No one is perfect, and you will make mistakes, but being aware of how the things you do and say make others feel will create a huge difference in the way you treat others.
13. Treat yourself with kindness.
While it’s hard to register, you are the most important person in your life, and you should treat yourself as such.
14. You will regret the things you didn't try to do so much more than the things you tried and failed.
To try something new and fail is an invaluable learning experience, but to never try something is a missed opportunity, and you will feel the repercussions as you mature.
15. Stop watching ‘what-I-eat-in-a-day’ videos.
Everyone’s bodies are different, and they all require different methods of nutrition.
16. Delete the calorie tracking app.
Tracking calories is ineffective and can create an unhealthy relationship with food, preventing you from living a fulfilling life.
17. Life is way too short to spend it waiting for the next time you'll allow yourself to eat.
Some people may be trying to get in shape and others may struggle with over or undereating, but as long as you're taking care of your body and eating balanced meals, that’s all that matters.
18. Your body will eventually force you to slow down, so choose to while you still have a choice.
If you begin to notice tension in your neck, back, or other areas, this is a telltale sign that you're taking on a lot, and your body wants you to slow down.
19. There's a difference between having goals and being consumed by your shortcomings.
It’s great to chase after your goals and reach your full potential, but being hard on yourself for not accomplishing everything you want to be doing is unfair and unhealthy.
20. Your discipline doesn't have to be a weapon you use against yourself. It can be a tool you use to love yourself.
Self-discipline is more than having willpower; it's the ability to pursue your goals with determination, improving your life and your relationship with yourself simultaneously.
21. Your social anxiety can look like meanness sometimes, but you can work on it.
If you notice yourself ignoring others when they speak to you out of your own social anxiety, this can come across as rude or entitled. While you may not be able to change your social anxiety, you can strengthen your manners and politeness.
22. Pay attention to the things that people who make you feel good do and start doing those things for other people.
Exemplify that same behavior when talking to others. If it makes you feel good, it will make them feel good, too.
23. Focus less on being original and more on being yourself.
There’s no stronger form of originality than the originality of being you.
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24. Maturity isn't about how you dress or how expensive your taste is, it's about your communication and conflict navigation skills.
Maturity is a mental strength and has nothing to do with your physical appearance or style.
25. The best communication in the world won't make someone hear you if they are committed to misunderstanding you.
If you have made efforts to demonstrate effective communication to no avail, then stop wasting your breath and find healthier people to surround yourself with because you deserve better.
26. You will not stop harboring resentment until you learn the difference between things you can get over without a conversation and things you can’t.
Having the ability to separate what does need closure and what doesn't will help you immensely when navigating conflict.
27. Being happy is the only real revenge.
The best revenge in life is finding your own happiness, because what could be more desirable than moving on and focusing on your own life?
28. It's okay to just admit you're intimidated by someone.
Some people will have intimidating energy, causing you to feel defensive or insecure at times. You’ll find that the power this intimidation has over you will weaken once you admit how you feel.
29. Get a dog.
One of the best forms of therapy and love is being the parent to a fur baby who adores you.
30. Sometimes you have to lose people so you can come back to them in a healthier way.
When friendships and relationships begin to feel too tense or unhealthy, distance and space are the remedy. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and focus on yourself, and if it's meant to happen, you'll find each other again.
31. Be present.
Hutchins said this is the "most trite advice on the planet" and "the only thing that matters," and she's not wrong.
“You will never be 20 again, you will never be 25 again,” Hutchins said. “You will never get this day of your life back once it's gone. Please live it.”
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, and spirituality topics.