12 Tiny Habits Of ‘Unbothered’ People That Make Them Absolutely Unstoppable
Practice not being perfect to stay truly unbothered.
Rido / Shutterstock They say the best version of revenge is living well. If there’s anyone who you want to make jealous, you have to lean into caring a little less — not in a way that makes you callous, but in a way that makes you come off as cool, calm, and collected.
Here are 12 tiny habits of ‘unbothered’ people that make them unstoppable:
1. Don’t say more than necessary.
Practice listening more than you speak, and you might discover that people share more about themselves than you asked for.
A major part of being a good listener is staying open to what someone is telling you. By removing distractions and focusing fully on the person you’re in conversation with, you’re priming yourself to be a good listener. Another hallmark of a good listener is someone who asks specific questions and affirms the person they’re talking to.
2. Don’t get overpowered by your emotions.
We all react emotionally at times, but letting your emotions rule your life is a pathway toward feeling entirely bothered all the time.
Learn to let negative thoughts and feelings go. Practice noticing your emotions, cataloging them, and then moving on.
3. Lower your expectations.
Everyone in this world is doing the best they can with the tools they have access to, meaning that different people have different scopes of emotional intelligence. Not everyone is operating at the same level as you are.
Make sure you’re not setting yourself up for disappointment by expecting too much of people.
4. Let your success speak for itself.
In other words, stay humble. There’s no need to brag about all your amazing accomplishments. You living your best life, as an unbothered and unstoppable force of nature, is all you really need to do.
5. Stop people-pleasing.
Leadership coach Patricia Bonnard touched on the various downsides of people-pleasing, explaining that this type of behavior can be detrimental to your mental health. She noted that by prioritizing others’ needs over your own, you’re likely to feel extreme self-doubt, and fear of failure, while also having an inability to form true connections with others.
People pleasing isn’t an easy habit to break, but once you do, you’ll find that you can be your fullest, most authentic self, which is the key element to staying unbothered.
6. Assume your haters are your fans.
This technique of staying unbothered goes along with putting yourself first. If you’re constantly concerned with what others think of you, then you’ll stay stuck in the depths of insecurity.
So, shift your perspective and turn that negative narrative on its head: By considering all your haters fans, you’re acting solely for yourself, and no one else.
7. Say ‘no’ when it serves you.
People who are unbothered know that they can’t say yes to everything, all the time. Setting boundaries is a valuable part of maintaining your peace.
If you don’t want to do something, or you don’t have the mental capacity or emotional energy to do something, say no. It will help fuel your “yes” later on.
8. Don’t try to be perfect.
Let yourself off the hook of trying to be perfect. Not only is being perfect an impossible task but accepting our imperfections is a path toward self-love. When we acknowledge our mistakes, we acknowledge our humanity, which makes us more compassionate people overall. That form of self-acceptance is key to staying unbothered.
9. Know your own truth.
Living an authentic version of your own life means taking an honest view of yourself, and letting outside criticism roll off your back.
Accept that not everyone knows your true self, but you do, and that’s what matters.
Photo: Mix and Match Studio / Shutterstock
10. Exercise empathy.
Practicing a rigorous form of accepting people for who they are, even with their shortcomings, makes you a highly empathic person. Part of caring less about things that don’t matter is saving that energy for what does matter: Your relationships with others, which you should come to from a place of understanding and kindness.
11. Find joy in the small things.
Being unbothered means that you don’t let big stuff get to you and that you find happiness in simple, small moments. Keeping a list of little things you’re grateful for is a valuable way to remind yourself of all the good in your life.
Photo: Jacob Lund / Shutterstock
12. Accept your flaws.
We all have parts of ourselves that we’re not entirely happy with. In other words, once again, no one is perfect. Yet accepting our imperfections as what makes us human is an important part of the self-acceptance process, and self-acceptance is crucial to living an unbothered life.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.