How To Give Him The BEST Handjob Of All Time

1.  Are you using enough lube?

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Preferably, start with the lubricant before your partner is fully erect. Giving a penis rug burn is fun for no one and lube helps. 

Put a dollop of the lubricant the size of a fifty cent piece in the palm of your hand and spread it luxuriously on his penis with your other hand. 

Use finesse, and I don't mean the shampoo. I recommend also being creative and having fun. The more fun you’re having, the more fun he’ll be having.

Nickname his penis, talk to it and not to him. After all, Reginald MacPhilips deserve the accolades. 

2.  What feels good to you? 

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When you give your man a hand job, think about touching him in a way that will make YOUR HANDS feel good. 

This will cause you to set aside all your anxiety regarding: am I doing it right? Why is his penis still a noodle? What if my arm gets tired? I know this may sound odd but try it. I don't do anything to Reginald MacPhilips unless it feels good for me too and it works. 

3.  Are you exploring different techniques?

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Try running one or two fingers up and down the length of his penis. Using the middle three fingers on both hands, gently press at the base of the penis, moving your hands around the circle like the face of a clock. 

This is a bit mind-boggling at first but hang in there. It’s supposed to be fun, not stressful! Imagine your trying to find the access code to a safe full of diamonds and Nutella. Only that safe is a fleshy penis. 

4. Are you moving too quickly?  

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As his penis continues to harden, try alternating strokes using either hand. Go really slowly. Don’t skimp on the lubricant.  

Most guys tend to get hand jobs from themselves and do them quickly to get the job done, pun very much intended. Going slowly will be a sexy and refreshing change for him.

 Expect a lot of moaning and possibly some begging if you're doing it right. 

5. Are you holding his penis at just one angle?

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Experiment with different angles. Most women tend to hold a penis at a 90-degree angle from his body, but going a bit more toward his belly will tend to keep it harder, and going a bit more toward his thighs may make it soften up.  

That said don't go nuts and jerk it around. It's a penis, not a stick shift. Unless you are driving a very strange car. 

6.  Are you combining stroking and squeezing?

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Slowly begin a series of increasingly tight squeezes to the shaft of the penis, backing off between squeezes. Mix these up with slow but firm strokes, caresses, and finger rubs until he has an erection that looks like it’s going to explode. 

Then, stand back, because it very well might! 

I recommend clean up with one or more baby wipes, or a wet face cloth. This can be part of your loving gesture toward him, too, rather than “his problem.”

My note to all women everywhere, don't be grossed out by his sperm. You don't have to lap it up like the finest cream, but don't make him feel like it's a problem either.