Top 5 'Innocent' Mistakes That Can Wreak Havoc On Relationships
Even people in healthy relationships make mistakes.
cottonbro studio | Canva Your love life is written in the stars, but did you know you can actually give your destiny a helping hand by avoiding certain common mistakes? Learn what they are so you can find and keep the fabulous relationship that’s meant for you. Sometimes finding a relationship you know will last forever feels impossible. When you're struggling in love or have had your heart broken, it can be inspiring to turn to Vedic Astrology for help. We've all heard about Vedic Astrology helping to reveal compatibility — but what else makes a successful relationship? Learn the five critical mistakes that may be keeping you from a greater love life.
Here are the top 5 'innocent' relationship mistakes that can wreak major havoc:
1. You jump to conclusions
While compatibility is revealed in Vedic Astrology and is very important, it's simply not enough. Why? Because you can be wildly compatible with a man who isn't a nice man. He may be an addict, an abuser, or have commitment issues and will never meet your expectations. At the same time, if you're not compatible, then nothing else will matter.
The warning sign: If you don't feel good around him, if you can't talk and have him understand what you're saying, if you don't have a foundation of friendship and healthy mutual attraction — you won't be happy no matter how much everything else is working and no matter how great of a guy he is. If you feel like you're working too hard on your relationship, chances are, you're not compatible.
2. You don't read the material
You must find a man who's "relationship material." He must want a relationship, know how to have one, and be available. Relationship-oriented men are obvious: they're usually in relationships! They like women. They have friends. They get along with their families and people at work. Besides, you can find out if he's relationship-oriented or not by looking at his Vedic chart.
The warning sign: Men who are not relationship-oriented are not close with their families — or they're way too close to their families. They whine about or have drama with friends, they dislike everybody at work or they spend most of their time alone. You cannot turn a man who is not good at relationships, or healthy enough emotionally, into a man who is.
3. You rush into things
Vedic Astrology can reveal when you're in a "season of love" and when you're not. And when you're not, it doesn't matter how hard you try, or who you meet. You could hire the best matchmaker in the world, and be on every Internet dating site, and you won't find "him." Just as flowers can't grow when the ground is frozen, but effortlessly do so when the snow melts, there's nothing you have to do once the conditions are right. He'll find you, and you'll find him.
The warning sign: It's important to wait until it is time. Focus on having the best life possible in the meantime, so you'll be as attractive and ready for a great man when the right time comes. Studies show that 50% of men getting married report they could have just as easily married someone else from their past and been just as happy, but that the timing wasn't right. And that part of the reason they're marrying the woman they're marrying is that the timing just feels right — now.
4. You settle for less
You have to want the same kind of life. One of the biggest reasons couples break up is when one person wants children and the other doesn't. Or, one wants to live in the city and the other one wants the country. You have to be the kind of person he's looking for, and he has to be the kind of person you're looking for.
The warning sign: You're not going to turn a quiet chess player into a party animal. Or a man who hates snow into one who wants to go skiing every weekend. Or a man who doesn't care about material things, and isn't very ambitious, into one who wants to build an empire for you. If you find yourself wanting to change the person he is now, first get clear on the kind of life you want and the kind of guy you'll need to have that life. Then, go find him — and resist all others.
5. You don't develop the skills
Often, two good people get together and are happy for a while, but then one of them starts to harm or neglect the relationship. Even healthy, smart, and attractive people sometimes don’t know how to relate. They try to find the reason for miserable love lives, "blaming the stars" for the latest breakup, or lack of closeness with their partner — when usually they don’t understand how to communicate or ask for what they want.
The warning sign: Once they learn those crucial aspects, their relationships improve, and they can get back that spark. So, if you've lost your spark with the one you love, or if he used to seem like your dream man but now you're not so sure, or if he's withdrawn from you and is not as enthusiastic as you'd like, then your relationship skills need an upgrade. You have the power to improve your love life.
Carol Allen is a relationship coach, Vedic astrologer, and former radio show host. In her more than 20 years as a coach, she has helped thousands of women create loving, connected, and satisfying relationships.