Tiger Woods' Mistresses To Compete In Pageant

Shock jock Howard Stern has created a brilliantly tacky beauty pageant for Tiger Woods' mistresses, four of whom have agreed to compete. The winner of the March 10 event, sponsored by "married dating" (or "cheating," as it's commonly known) website AshleyMadison.com, will receive a $100,000 prize. Although there is no confirmation on which four ladies are participating, we know at least one who won't be—Rachel Uchitel, Tiger's most famous mistress of all. Best Mistress Pageant Goes Awry (Shockingly)

Rachel Uchitel is banned from participating due to a settlement agreement with Woods, reports TMZ.com. But Uchitel’s friends have reportedly hatched a plan to send a cardboard cutout of the former cocktail waitress in her place.

Woods’ alleged mistresses will be judged in three categories: swimsuit, personality and talent. No word yet on who will be rating the ladies, although Stern is said to have offered a judging spot to Woods’ estranged wife, Elin. [Source: New York Daily News]

OK, so it's all kind of funny...except for the part about trying to get Elin to be a judge. If that's true, it's just plain low, even by Howard's standards.

This pageant certainly won't help Tiger's attempts to save his marriage, as we can't imagine Elin is too happy about these women parading around and flaunting their sexual exploits with her husband, not to mention that one will actually be awarded money for shagging him. Does The "Other Woman" Owe You an Apology?

Even if Elin can steer clear of the pageant, she may not be able to avoid another reminder of the affairs—PETA's new billboards. To promote pet spaying and neutering, the giant ads feature a picture of Tiger next to the caption, "Too much sex can be a bad thing." Hmm, Tiger should actually feel pretty lucky that Elin never tried to "neuter" him the old-fashioned Lorena Bobbitt way. What To Do With A Cheating Husband

Scoop via NY Daily News and Radar Online. Photo via Lovekin, Kinnaird/Getty.