10 Things A Good Boyfriend Won't Ask You To Do (Like, Ever)
You deserve a lot better than a bad boyfriend like that.
Cookie Studio / Shutterstock We've all been in relationships where, at times, we've felt more like a mom or a secretary than a significant other. We fall into these weird roles while dating, taking responsibility for things that we never would've imagined when we first met that cute guy at the bar.
Going on a date with a sweet, oblivious doofus might sound adorable... until you find yourself reminding your boyfriend to pay his phone bill four times a month and telling him exactly what to buy you for your 6-month anniversary.
While we understand that healthy relationships require compromises, things get challenging when a guy is just a bad boyfriend. That's why we've compiled a list of favors good boyfriends know better than to consistently request (if they want things to last).
If you're constantly taking on any of the items on this list (especially with any hint of resentment), it's time to get your guy to lend a hand.
If he asks you to do these 10 things, consider them warning signs he's a bad boyfriend.
1. His laundry
If you offer or have taken on this chore as part of a plan to split responsibilities with one another, that's one thing. But if he asks you to do his laundry because he considers it "a woman's work" and sees it as your duty, that's a problem.
Pairing your socks isn't exactly our idea of a stay-at-home date nor does living with you make us a 1950s housewife. A good compromise is for one partner to sort and start the laundry and the other to fold and put it away.
Plus, studies show that helping around the house increases a man's chances of getting laid. So, how about that pile of dishes? If you clean up the sink while we tackle the living room, we'll get to the bedroom twice as fast.
2. Buy gifts and cards for other people on his behalf
We'll help when we're out with you, but no, we shouldn't be expected to always be the one making pit stops at Hallmark. Just because we're women doesn't mean we're automatically adept at figuring out your Aunt Martha's dress size.
3. Plan entire vacations without his help
When we ask you whether you'd rather spend our anniversary in Cabo or Vermont, we want you to express an actual preference, not to say, "Whatever, I'm happy with what makes you happy." The same goes for the hotel, the airline, and the restaurant reservations.
Letting us take the reins isn't considerate, it's just lazy and boring. Instead, make sure to divvy up the planning. We pick the location and hotel; you plan the activities.
4. Make him all of his sandwiches
The refrigerator is 10 feet away and your game control has a pause button, so get up, stretch, and slap that ham and lettuce together by yourself. We don't care if you're "in the zone," because apparently, you were out of it long enough to articulate your immediate need for a nibble.
Maybe we'll consider it if you agree to break from the game for 20 minutes, put on some coffee, and enjoy your afternoon snack with us.
5. Be his wake-up call every morning
Really, buy an alarm clock. Remembering a man's nap and wake-up schedule should be an occasional favor, not an everyday obligation.
6. Take care of his drunk friends
We'll help them hail cabs or drive them home, but our couch really shouldn't be a post-happy hour crash pad.
7. Hang out with his ex
Some women like befriending the ex and others just want to satisfy their curiosity about her. But don't pressure the ones who would rather keep a distance.
8. Keep up with his favorite shows
How would you like it if we made you religiously watch The Bachelor? Instead, let's pick a show we both like and make sure we follow it together.
9. Lose weight
We'll tone up for health purposes and for ourselves, but if you're really concerned about the 5 pounds we gained over the holidays, don't flat-out complain that we're getting flabby.
Instead, invite us to go biking with you or to take a yoga class together. Treat exercise as a fun activity we can do together, instead of something we should do just for you.
10. Keep your hair long (or in any style you don't want)
Trust us, short hair is cute, fun, and just as feminine as back-length hair. Just look at Halle Berry, Audrey Tautou, and Keira Knightley, circa 2005. It's not as if we're going to shave it off or sport one of Rihanna's hairstyles, but even if we did, we hope you'd find us just as attractive.
Denise Ngo is a freelance web writer and editor who specializes in love, dating, and relationships.