7 Legit Reasons Having Small Boobs Is Seriously THE BEST

Alan Wieder became obsessed with his penis in 2005. Convinced that it was the smallest in the world, he spent the entire year poring over penis-size statistics, measuring his manhood up to 20 times a day, and yes, even trying to increase his size through questionable contraptions.

Four years later, after going through lots of therapy and penning a memoir about his neurotic obsession entitled Year of the Cock, Wieder is finally at peace with his size. In fact, he's even able to joke about it.

He published a list of the "13 Greatest Things About Having A Small Penis," with items including, "You can related to women better because you more or less have a vagina," and, "You have a fourteen percent better chance of talking your significant other into backdoor action."

We like Wieder's positive attitude and sense of humor so much, that after reading his list we couldn't help but feel inspired to write our own about another small something that gets its share of uncharitable jokes. Here are the seven greatest things about having small boobs:

1. While all your girlfriends complain about their giant drooping breasts reaching their knees, you can feel good about the fact that your small drooping breasts will never make it past your waist.

2. Your chest has that chic Kate Moss look, and you didn't even need to snort cocaine to make it happen.

3. Two words, with regard to men: eye contact.

4. There's no need to buy new bras after fourth grade.

5. You can have hours of fun as you and your man fight over who has the bigger boobs.

6. There's nothing impeding the fabulous view of your giant gut.

7. There's a lovely feeling of being described by others as a girl with a pretty face and a really great personality.